• Have you ever used a computer? (If the answer is no, try taking the Baker House Purity test.)
• Have you ever programmed a computer?
• Have you ever built a computer?
• Used the restroom continuously for more than four hours?
• Have you ever "flamed" anyone on a computer?
• Did you enjoy it?
• Do you wear glasses?
• Are your glasses broken (e.g. taped) ?
• Is your vision worse than 4 dioptry?
• Worse than 8 dioptry?
• Are you legally blind?
• Have you ever asked a question in lecture?
• Have you ever answered a question in lecture?
• Have you ever corrected a professor?
• Have you ever answered a rhetorical question?
• Do you sit in the front row?
• Do you take notes in more than one color?
• Have you ever worn a calculator?
• A pocket protector?
• Have you ever used a microscope?
• Have you ever used a telescope?
• Have you ever used an oscilloscope?
• Is your weight (in pounds, not kg's) less than your IQ?
• Have you ever done #2 on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of the same weekend?
• Have you ever done #2 past 4 am?
• Have you ever done #2 for money?
• Do you own a Rubik's Cube?
• Can you solve it?
• Without the book?
• Without looking?
• Do you have acne?
• Do you have greasy hair?
• Are you unaware of it?
• Have you ever bought anything from Radio Shack?
• Did you redesign anything from Radio Shack?
• Do you know how to use a sliderule?
• Do you know calculus?
• Do you know Maxwell's Equations?
• Do you have them on a T-shirt?
• Have you ever dissected anything?
• Do you know pi past five decimal places?
• Do you know e past five decimal places?
• Do you own more than $500 in electronics (excluding stereo/tv)?
• More than $1000?
• Have you ever built more than $1000 worth of electronics?
• Have you ever designed a multistep chemical synthesis?
• Was it fun?
• Have you ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
• Was your math SAT more than 300 points higher than your verbal?
• Have you ever worked on a Friday night?
• While there's a party next door?
• And wished that someone would invite you to over?
• Have you ever played a computer game?
• Done #55 in the last three months?
• Done #55 in the last three weeks?
• Have you ever written a computer game?
• Are your pants too short?
• Do your socks mismatch?
• Have you used a chemistry set?
• After the age of 13?
• Have you ever played D&D (or other role-playing game)?
• Since high school?
• Have you ever entered a science fair?
• Did you win?
• Do you own a digital watch?
• Does it play music?
• Does it have a calculator?
• Have you ever used a rare earth element?
• Do you own a CRC?
• Do you own a CRT?
• Do you own an HP calculator?
• Do you know how to use it?
• Were you ever on a chess team?
• Were you ever on a debate team?
• Do you know more than three programming languages?
• More than eight?
• Have you ever made a technical joke?
• Did no one get it?
• Can you name more than ten Star Trek episodes?
• Are you socially inept?
• Do you own a pencil case?
• Do you wear it?
• Do you know Schrodinger's equation?
• Have you ever solved it?
• Have you ever used the word "asymptotic"?
• Can you count in binary?
• Have you ever broken into a computer system?
• A government system?
• Have you ever changed your bank account?
• Changed someone else's?
• Done #91 for FUN?
• Have you ever inhaled helium?
• Do you know the Latin name for a fruit fly?
• Do you own anything that is radio controlled?
• Have you ever interpolated?
• Have you ever extrapolated?
• Have you ever used a modem?

RANK & CLASSIFICATION:

1-20    Totally cool, dude!

21-40  Your social life needs some serious help.

40-60  Nerd!

60-80  YOU need some serious help.

80-100 Hail, O Great Nerd Master. I have sacrificed some virgin, untouched sliderules in your name.