Welcome to ...

catcat's Trek Episode 5 (Yesterday's Enterprise ... Again ---- Part 2/2)

With today's (well, refer to the stardate) technologies, can the Enterprise D survive in the past? Now continue ...

< Scene >: The Enterprise surrounding by 2 Klingon bird of preys and 2 battle cruisers Picard: (voice) Captain's log, stardate 10005.00. Q placed the Enterprise back to the time when the Federation was still at war with the Klingon Empire. We're surrounded by 4 vessels and no shields. The astounding part: Tasha's back with us, but Worf is on the other side.

< Scene >: Main Bridge (showing Worf on main viewer) Worf:   Prepare to beam aboard Enterprise! Picard:   Wait! We have something to discuss! (Picard gives Tasha a cut-off sign) Tasha:   Muted. Picard:   Options! Riker:   Are we going to hand over the Enterprise? Data:   Sir. You said that we are going to re-run the history, but I do not find any history about the Enterprise handing over to the Klingon Empire. Picard:   You're right, Data! Riker:   Hand battle with the Klingons!? Can we do that? Tasha:   The point is we must make the situation even. Data:   In deed Lieutenant. Picard:   No story Data! What is it? Data:   If we have to fight with the Klingons, there is only a 4 percent of chance that we can win. If we can avoid the hand battle, then we can win, at least, easier. Riker:   How can we not handing over the Enterprise and avoid hand battling with the Klingons? Data:   Remember Professor Moriarty? Riker:   What!? A hollographic character can help us!? Picard:   No Number One! Ship in a bottle! Data:   Exactly Sir. Riker:   Ship in a bottle? What do you mean? Data:   We can create a hllographic Enterprise for the Klingons to beam aboard for hand battle. When they are battling with the hollographic characters in the virtual Enterprise, we can use the extra time to figure out a solution. Picard:   Make it so! Data! Proceed programming the hollodeck. Data:   I have already done it Sir. Picard:   How do you know I'll approve your solution? Data:   According to my experience, you have approved 100 percent of all my or anyone else's suggestions in the past Sir. Picard:   Alright Data! Proceed! (nod to Tasha) Tasha:   Channel's opened. Picard:   We decided not handing over the ship without a fight! Worf:   Very well, a worrior's decision! Prepare to die! Picard:   Today is a good day to die! Worf:   (angry) Rrrrr......! Picard:   Lieutenant, off main viewer. Tasha:   Intruders beaming aboard ... all into the hollodeck Sir. Picard:   Well done Mr. Data. Riker:   If the Klingons are beaming aboard the Enterprise, they won't pick the hollodeck as the destination. Why are they all beaming into the hollodeck? Data:   I have modified our deflector dish to direct all transporter signals into the hollodeck with a special modulation in the Gamma-band which the Klingons are not aware of in this time frame. Riker:   I've no idea what the hell you're talking about. I'm fine as long as it works anyways. Picard:   Meeting.

< Scene >: Observation lounge Picard:   Options. Riker:   Beam all the Klingons to outer space. Tasha:   Agree! Picard:   Mak... Lady voice:   (voice) Captain! Picard:   Guinan!? Guinan:   May I join you? Picard:   But Guinan, I think ... Guinan:   Captain, may I join you? Picard:   Ok, join us please Guinan. Riker:   Guinan? Does she has anything to do with this? Picard:   I don't know, but as long as this is brought by Q ... (Guinan come in and take a seat) Guinan:   Sorry to interrupt Captain. Picard:   Oh no no! I'm glad that you can join us in this situation! So, Guinan, what are you purposing? Guinan:   (annoyed) Well, I asked to join you, I didn't say I've any solution. (everyone roll their eyes) Picard:   Ok, prepare to beam the Klingons to the outer space. Mak... Troi:   Captain! Picard:   (frustrates) Now what!? Counsellor, if you're feeling pain again, I'm well awared and thanks for your input! Troi:   No Captain, I'm fine! What I'm trying to say is, Q implied us to re-run the history. But according to the history the Enterprise D doesn't exist in this time line. Picard:   (awake) Thank you Counsellor! Gee! This is the first time you say something that we can use since I've hired you! Troi:   You're welcome Captain. Besides, this's just a little thing and as a matter of fact, I'm feeling joy in the hollo... Picard:   (interrupting) Ahem ahem! (Troi stops) Picard:   So the main thing we should do is to put the Enterprise back to its own time. Riker:   But how? Geordi? Geordi:   Hey! Don't look at me! I don't know how to create a space-time distortion. Picard:   Data? Data:   Or in another approach. Riker:   Another approach? Data:   Putting us back to our own time is one way, but what about Lieutanent Worf? He does not belong to this time line either. And during the previous conversation with Worf, I found that the other crews on the Klingon ship are all current members of the Klingon High Council. Instead of putting us back to our own time, we have to take care of the 4 Klingon ships as well. Riker:   But what is your "other approach"? Data:   Even though we can not control time, we can control matters. Picard:   In English Data. Data:   We have been thinking of put us back. What about removing us from this time period? Geordi:   Yes! We don't know how to put us back, but we sure know how to destroy ourselves. But what about the 4 Klingon vessels out there? We can't beat them. Data:   If the Enterprise explodes now, within as such a close distance, all 4 Klingon vessels will be destroyed. (Q appears) Q:   Good thinking my dear android. But do you know that I've brought all the Klingon ships to this time line too? Then how are you going to destroy them? Ha ha .... Picard:   Q, stop this! Q:   Now!? Hooo, Picard, I'm waiting to see the big destruction! How can I miss this? (Q disappears) Geordi:   Wow! The whole fleet of Klingon ships. Riker:   How can we beat that? Geordi:   Wait Data. If we can put all the Klingon ships together and close enough. One Enterprise's destruction can cause a chain effect and destory all Klingon ships! Picard:   Now you are dream talking Mr. La Forge. Data:   Not entirely true Sir. Riker:   Why? Data:   If we can find a way to make all Klingon ships gethering here, we can do it. Geordi:   But how? Send a distress call to the Klingons? Data:   Close enough, but we let the Klingons send that call. Riker:   Data? Data:   We can create some disaster situation on those 4 vessels and let them send the distress signal, when other Klingon ships arrived, we create the same disaster on them some how. Geordi:   And then on and on and on ... until the very last one! But what kind of disaster will do this? And how can we create the disaster on the Klingon ships? Data:   To penetrate their security system, we have Wesley here to randomly press buttons to guess the access codes ... Wesley:   Hey! Enough with this gag now ok!? I still need some dignity (pause) Everyone:   (looking at Wesley) Nah! Data:   It is ok Wesley, I will figure out some other way to let the Klingons to open their own doors. Picard:   Mr. Data, what about the disaster? Data:   For this, I have to consult the ship's database and pick the right one. Picard:   (looks around) Make it so!

< Scene >: Main Bridge (at a science station) Geordi:   What are you looking for Data? Data:   Q has done a good job, all the current data are not in the ship's computer, only the old records are there. Picard:   What can we do? Data:   I am looking at the old records now. Geordi:   Wow! Data, these records are really old, hundreds years old! Data:   Yes Geordi. If I pick the disaster in the now current time, I believe the Klingons will be well awared. Therefore, I choose picking from something really old, old enough that the Klingons have no idea at all. (pause) And I have found it. Picard:   What ever it is, will that work? Data:   I am not sure, but very promising. Picard:   Proceed! (Data back to his console) Data:   I am replicating the disasters. Riker:   Replicate? Data:   I am releasing the disasters ... now.

< Scene >: Outer space, Enterprise releasing some small boxes to space

< Scene >: Main Bridge Picard:   What are those Data? Data:   A late 20th century product Sir. Riker:   Let me guess, MS? Data:   Yes Sir! According to our experience, MS created lots of products which gave companies thousands of disasters! The one I am using is Office suite. Geordi:   I can monitor the progress from this station here. Picard:   How're the Klingons in the hollodeck now? Tasha:   They seem tired. Not too many actions down there. Shall I beam them to the outer space Sir? Troi:   It is not advisable Sir. If we kill them now, the other Klingon vessels will fire on us and we don't have the chance to finish our work. Picard:   Agree, keep them in there for a while. Geordi? Geordi:   The Klingons have beam some Office suite packages onto their ships ... Now they've installed them and using the software Sir. Data:   As the Klingons are not familiar with Office suite at all, they are having trouble in using it. Grordi:   The plan works! They're calling the Klingon High Council for technical support! And 13 ships are coming! Data:   As more ship came, that means more ship have that Office suite installed and more technical supports are required. Tasha:   Sir, 13 Klingon vessels decloaking in this sector! Geordi:   That's right! More Office suite have installed and the entire fleet of Klingon ships is coming! Picard:   Well done Mr. Data! Riker:   Just what kind of software is it? What is it good for? Data:   As per MS, this software is very user friendly and easy to use. Riker:   Then why do you pick it? Data:   I am an android Sir. I do not believe in words. I believe in facts Sir. From the ship's records, since MS has released the Office suite, the entire world has a 1M percent of technical support personnels requirement increase. Hence, according to my analysis. This can not be a easy to use product. Riker:   Is there anything good about this product? Data:   No such information Sir! Tasha:   All Klingon ships is here Sir! Geordi:   All Klingon ships has the package installed. Riker:   Sir? Picard:   I'm the one who is responsible to the ship. I'll do this. (walk to the helm) Riker, I'll take the helm! Riker:   Aren't you going to initiate the auto-destruct sequences Sir? Picard:   This might be the last and the only chance to do this. I'll do it my way. Riker:   (leaving the helm) It's all yours Sir. (Picard sitting down at the helm and rubs his hands, then press a few buttons) Picard:   WEE!

< Scene >: Outer space, the Enterprise run right into one of the cruiser and explodes. Then created a chain reaction destroying all the other vessels. Q's light flashes

< Scene >: Main Bridge (Worf's back and Tasha's gone) Q:   (clapping hands slowly) What a scene, what a terrific picture I haven't seen for centuries! Picard:   I'm glad you're satisfy! Data:   Captain, we are back to where we were, we are, we ... Picard:   Thank you Mr. Data. (turn to Q) So I've saved humanity again, heh? Just what kind of test is it? Q:   Who said anything about humanity? I was just creating job opportunities. Don't you remember the special effect guys' strike? They're back now and they need to work! Picard:   What!? Q:   Well, Picard my friend. Humanity? May be next time when I stop by ... Ha ha ha .... (Q disappears) Riker:   Sir? Picard:   Well Number One, sometimes there're things that don't actually important and you have to do it seriously. In another words, just another meaningless episode. Ensign, set course to Deep Space 9, warp 1, engage when ready. Wesley:   Coordinates set ... warp 1 ... engage.

Enterprise go into warp

Looks like to fight with enermies in the old days required old technologies.