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catcat's Trek Episode 6 (Tea, Earl Grey, Hot)

We all knows that Data has been solving thousands of problems for the Enterprise. This time, Data has a very important job to do.

< Scene >: The Enterprise travelling in warp speed Picard: (voice) Captain's log, stardate 10006.00. We have received a message from Starfleet Command that a Romulan war bird is heading to Space Dock K-7 near the neutral zone. We are going to join the party as soon as possible.

< Scene >: Main Bridge Picard:   Status Mr. Data. Data:   In current speed, 47 minutes and 0.2381 seconds Sir. Riker:   Why do the Romulan approaching Space Dock K-7? Picard:   Even Starfleet Command have no idea, but the Enterprise is the closest starship to K-7. Riker:   May be they're planning an attack? Worf:   The Enterprise is ready for any attack. Picard:   Agree Mr. Worf. Before we truly understand the reason, we must proceed with cautions. Data:   We are in visual range Sir. (everyone looking at Picard and wait) Picard:   (looks around) What? Riker:   We're within visual range Sir! Picard:   So? Riker:   Aren't you going to say "on screen"? Picard:   Well Number One, since last time you make fun of me for this, I decided not to put everything on screen. (screen shaking suddenly, red alert) Picard:   Data!? Data:   We have hit a small energy cloud and our engine seems damaged. Riker:   Geordi?

< Scene >: Engineering Geordi:   Commander, our warp drive is damaged. I can only maintain impulse speed now.

< Scene >: Main Bridge Riker:   How long will it take you to fix the warp drive? Geordi:   (voice) I need about an hour. Picard:   Not acceptable! You have 15 minutes Mr. La Forge! Geordi:   (voice) I try Sir! Picard:   You don't try! You do it! Geordi:   (voice) Aye Sir! Riker:   Is it necessary Sir? Picard:   Learn Number One! It is the Captain's duty to push the Engineers no matter it is rush or not. Besides, I have fun! Geordi:   (voice) La Forge to Bridge. I can get the warp drive back on line in 17 minutes but I have to shut down the shields completely. Picard:   Mr. Data. Any sign of Romulan ships? Data:   Both of our short and long range sensors does not find any unusual sign of Romulan ships. Picard:   Proceed Mr. La Forge. Geordi:   (voice) Aye Captain. Picard:   I'll be in my ready room. Number One you have the Bridge. Riker:   Aye Sir. (Picard go to his ready room) Riker:   Data, can we detect a cloaked Romulan ship? Data:   I can try but there is no promising method to do this Sir. (sound of things broken coming from the Captain's ready room. As Troi's sitting closest to the ready room, she rush into it and see what's going on)

< Scene >: Ready room Troi:   (door opens and rush in) Captain!? (Picard lying on his chair not responsing) Worf:   (rush in next, see some broken glass on the floor) Something wrong? Riker:   (yelling) What the hell is going on? Troi:   I feel ... I feel ... Riker:   Pain? Troi:   Yes! Pain! How do you know? Riker:   Yea, yea. What a surprise. Troi:   No Will! I am serious! I feel pain! Worf:   From whom do you get that pain feeling? The Captain? Troi:   Me! I feel my own pain! From deep inside me! Worf:   Counsellor, are you alright? Riker:   Are you deaf Lieutenant? She feel pain! Troi:   No no. You don't understand! This is not the pain feeling I always feel. This time is different. Riker:   What is it Deanna? Troi:   Will, when I rush into this room, I feel this pain right away. I step on those broken glass! Worf:   (hit comm-batch) Medical emergency in the Captain's ready room! Riker:   What about the Captain, do you feel anything? Troi:   Damn you Will! I step on broken glass! Why do I care about that stupid Captain!? (Beverly rush in) Beverly:   What happens? Something happened to Jean Luc? Troi:   Will! I feel pain! Riker:   We all knows, don't be such a wuss! The Dr. is here! Troi:   No, I feel it from Beverly! (everyone looking at Dr. Crusher who's now sitting on the floor and looks like she's wounded) Worf:   Doctor! Beverly:   I step on some broken glass! Damn! (starts treating herself) Troi:   Hey you bitch! I called to get that treatment first! Beverly:   Alright! I'm finished. Here! (starts treating Deanna) Worf:   What happened to the Captain? Riker:   Data, we need you here! (Data come in, Troi and Beverly get up) Riker:   Data, when we came in, we saw the Captain lying there unconscious. We're trying to figure out what's happened. Data:   Ha! (walks around, then take out a pipe from nowhere) A standard crime scene! Riker:   Crime scene, Data? Data:   Yes! My dear Riker ... Commander. Riker:   Explain. Data:   It is obvious that someone messed up the Captain's favourite drink; that is, tea, earl grey, hot; to kill the Captain. Worf:   The Romulan! Data:   Even though it is possible that there is a cloaked Romulan ship around. But to also beam aboard the Enterprise without being detected and kill the Captain by putting poison in his favourite drink is not very likely. Riker:   Then who did this? Data:   It has to be someone who knows the Captain well and get access to the replicating systems. Riker:   Deanna, can you feel it from anyone and know who did it? Troi:   Oh! For crying out loud! I's just stepping on glass and the pain's still here! You want me to work!? You know what Will Riker? It's a definitely right decision that I dumpped you! Riker:   Alright! Okay! Take it easy! Geez! (pause) Data? Data:   This is another good time to quote: "Whenever the probable had been eliminated, the remainder - however improbable - must be the truth!" Beverly:   Then who is that person? Data:   I have 4 suspects! Everyone:   Whoa! Riker:   Who are they? Data:   First suspect. Commander William T. Riker! Riker:   What!? Me!? Okay wise guy. What's your analysis? Data:   You sure know the Captain well, which gives you the advantage to know his favourite drink; and the Captain's death will bring you the benefit to get promotion. But your little brain can not let you successfully manipulated the replicating systems. So, you are not the person who has poisoned the Captain. Riker:   Whew! Thank you Data. Then who's next? Data:   Acting ensign Wesley Crusher. Worf:   The boy? Beverly:   Yes, my boy! If you make a tiny mistake on this one, I'll blast your fxxxing on-off switch away! Data:   Wesley has been hating the Captain since his father's death, it is very possible that Wesley want to kill the Captain. Even Wesley actually does not know anything about the ship's operations, mixing stuff randomly in the replicating systems do create poison easily. But, as Wesley probably can not figure out how to program the replicator, to randomly creates even a partially working program is not likely, except the late 20th century's company MS. Therefore, Wesley can not be that person. Beverly:   Thanks Data! Then who should that be? Data:   Bar tender Guinan. Troi:   Guinan!? But the Captain and Guinan are close friends! Data:   Exactly! This relationship does give Guinan the chance to know the Captain's favourite drink. And Guinan is the person who operates the replicating systems thousands times a day. And that mystical look she gives the Captain every time when she see him? But, as killing the Captain does not bring any benefit to Guinan. It is not likely that Guinan is the one who tries killing the Captain. Beverly:   Then, according to your quote: You've removed 3 suspects out of 4. That means the last one - however improbable - was the one! Who is it!? Data:   Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge. Everyone:   (very surprise) What!? Riker:   Data, he's your best friend! He's saved you too many times that even your positronic brain can't remember! Data:   Two times Sir! Riker:   This is not my point! (pause) Alright! Why Geordi? Data:   First of all, Geordi does know the Captain drinks earl grey. Secondly, Geordi sure has the ability to alter the replicating systems. Finally, after the Captain pushed him to fix the warp engine, it is very likely that Geordi try to kill the Captain because of hatred. Riker:   Wow! So ... Geordi heh!? But what if some other people want to drink earl grey? Worf:   Earl grey? In the 24th century? Get real! (suddenly Picard moans) Everyone:   Captain! Picard:   Wha ... What!? What's going on here Number One? Riker:   Captain, we heard sound of broken glass coming from your ready room and then we see you lying there. We think someone's trying to murder you! Picard:   What!? Murder!? (laugh) No no no! No one is murdering me. Everyone:   Then what happened? Picard:   Well, I guess I just simply felt asleep and drop the cup of tea. Riker:   Felt asleep!? But you just step in! Picard:   Well, to be honest, I'm really tired 'cuz last night I have been on-line chatting with Sisko over the sub-space channel for 4 hours and can't get any sleeps. (pause) By the way, I remember the ready room's door was locked, how did you guys get in here? Troi:   Captain, after I've heard the glass broken sound, I open the door and get in. Picard:   You have my security codes? Data:   Captain, may I remind you that anyone on the Enterprise can opens any locked door by simply staying "Emergency override" or "Security override". Picard:   (whispering to himself) Yeah! That damn voice command override systems! Geordi:   (voice) La Forge to the Captain. I've fixed the warp engine. We can have warp factor up to 9.5! Picard:   Well done Mr. La Forge! (looks around) Gentlemen, shall we? (everyone leaves Picard's ready room)

< Scene >: Main Bridge Picard:   Ensign, set course to Space Dock K-7, warp factor 8 ... engage.

< Scene >: The Enterprise go into warp.

To be continued? Nah! What about the Romulan? Well, after the Enterprise has arrived K-7, they found that it's actually a cranky call which was initiated by Benjamin Sisko last night. And that's the main reason why Sisko's demoted to Commander.