Off to Mexico (2)

*First I get stuck with a group of shallow party girls for an adventuring team, then I get bagged by morons.* Sweetiepie thought to himself. *I'll have to get out of this mess by myself.*

Using some of his pattented parrot magic, Sweetiepie struggled out of the canvas sack in which he had been stowed. The three morons didn't notice. They were standing on the balcony of the hotel room watching the 'Scaper girls on the beach through a pair of binoculars.

"Touristas from the Dominion." said the leader. "The more exotic they are the better price they fetch. Let's wait for them here in their room. When they come back from the beach we will take all five of them!"

Sweetiepie watched all this from the top of the mirror on the dresser. He sighed. If he tried to fly out the window and warn the girls, the thieves might catch him. He decided that his best bet was to stay in the room. When the girls got back he could help them out.

The girls were being served a supper of barbecued shrimp en brochette and french fries at a beachside table. Sixth was relaxing with and enormous frozen daquiry (her third, or was it the fourth) and giggling again about the dumbstruck expressions on the guys when they had placed their videophone call.

Rae and arctic had had almost as much alchohol as Sixth and were in almost as bad shape. Mouse was still upset about clouting poor Ernest upside the head and had, consequently, remained sober to prevent such an occurrence from happening again. KaraS never drank much. Stopped at her two drink limit she was feeling pleasantly happy but by no means drunk. She was in complete control of her faculties.

Raven_Kat and arctickat, barely able to stand unaided were quickly overcome. KaraS and Mouse were sober but were not trained fighters. They were also easily rendered helpless. Sixth was a secret agent and even inebriated she put up a good fight. But when all three of the thugs jumped on her her defeat was a foregone conclusion.

As he dials the phone, he replies "...because as silly as we looked behaving that way, can you imagine how much trouble we'd be in if we did not react like three raging hormones? No, I don't want that lecture when they get back... Hello? Pizzarama? Yeah, I'd like to order three... no make that four large pizzas with everything. You can put anchovies on one of them... Yeah, deliver that to the basement at Dominion House... 60 minutes? Okay, great!"

"Now where do you suppose Mouse is?" Spyral thinks, watching the moon rise slowly. He lays back, drifts off to sleep and wonders what new adventures he might find here.

Spyral was still dozing on the beach when he heard a commotion. A small speedboat buzzed up to the edge of the water and several men got out and headed up to the hotel. When they came back they were carrying several large, burlap wrapped bundles. When they droped the bundles on the sand the bundles groaned and squirmed.

Spyral watched intently as the goons finished loading the bundles and then headed back up to the hotel. Now was his chance to free Mouse and her friends. He sprinted up to the boat and climbed inside. As he was fishing around in his pocket for his pocket knife he heard one of the men returning. Quickly Spyral hid behind one of the bundles. In the dark the thief didn't see him and started the boat. As they headed out to sea, Spyral thought...

Rae squeals, trying to sound imposing. Not easy when you're hog-tied and there's a drug-lord running his fingers through your feathers. "I KNEW I should have picked up that cerimonial heart-ripping dagger at the gift-shop! Now I'm just going to have to do it manually." Rae begins working at the knots holding her hands.

"Oh….you wanted an adventure….well, I think we have one now!" Spyral looks up but the bad guys are to busy messing with some girl with black feathers for hair.

"Yeah….but they ruined my buzz! Time to slice and dice these clowns!" a raiser sharp claw pops out of the bag and begins a slow cut downwards. Mouse can see two glowing eyes staring at her from within the bag. Artickat pulls herself out of the bag and notices Spyral. "Aren't you the one in the garden looking for adventure?"

Spyral nods his head and mouse asks "What are we going to do? I don't think we can free anyone else without being seen." Mouse looks worriedly towards the front of the boat.

"Hmm." *Think! artickat think!* "I've got it! Mouse, you and I will distract the 'clowns' while Spyral frees the others." Artickat has a proud grin on her face.

6th was desparately trying to reach her watch to get the springloaded razor out, when she felt someone behind her start lossening her hands. She tried to peer over her shoulder, and caught a glimpse of an unfamiliar male, cutting her loose.

"Well..."6th whispered as she felt her hands come free, "I'm 6th, and I'm certainly glad to see you! I don't think any of the other guys I know would be willing to put themselves in danger to help us out." 6th managed to get her blade out of her watch and began sawing at the rope around her legs.

"go take care of KaraS. Then we can proceed to get Medieval on these charming fellows rear ends, if you know what I mean." 6th said, and patted him on the shoulder. He crawled off towards KaraS.

"Hey!" 6th hissed. "Mouse, Artic...Do you think those punks are feeling lucky today? Cause I don't think I thanked them properly for the Mexican hospitality they showed us earlier. I'd like to go..."6th grinned maliciously "...shake hands with them."

Mouse muttered as she worked her nail file out of her pocket. Thank God she was wearing her cover-up to the beach, and she always brings a nail file with her almost everywhere.

All the time Mouse was fighting the impulse to start screaming, punching and kicking, but 1) her hands and feet were tied, 2) she was wrapped in a sack on what she thought was a boat and 3) she was thinking that it might help 6th’s career if they could find out more about these criminals. She though in this situation, a calm approach would probably work better than an assault that might get her and her friends seriously hurt. For the moment the were not in immediate danger, and with Spyral on the boat she was going to have to break one of her cardinal rules and put her trust in a virtual stranger’s hands.

Mouse quickly found she was next to KaraS when she shifted and mistakenly rolled over on Kara’s leg. “Sorry, Kara,” Mouse apologized. “Listen, and pass it on. I think we’re all alert and sober enough to realize we’re in some deep s#$t here if we don’t come up with a plan. We have a friend on the boat, here on my other side - he’s Spyral and although we don’t really know him too well, we’re going to have to hope he’ll help us get out of this mess. But considering we don’t know where we are, or where we’re going, I think it would be best to concentrate on getting loose from these restraints, but to stay in the bags. That way, we can all be prepared to launch an attack when we are all together and the criminals won’t know we’re loose.”

“What do you think?” Mouse whispered as she go her hands free and started on the ropes around her feet. She really hoped that none of her friends were claustrophobic, and wondered how Rae was doing without her inhaler...

She should have know her friends were ready for action, but she still thought caution was the best way to go, unless they could all get free on the big boat, overpower their captors, and take control of the boat to the Mexican police...

"Mouse! Mouse!" artickat grabs mouse by the shoulders and gives her a little shake. "Snap out of it! Spyral is freeing KaraS and we are going to take these guys before they do anything else to Rae!"

Mouse is crouching behind a big ice chest with 6th, artickat, Spyral, and Kara. She can't see Rae, so Mouse thinks either they've got Rae up in the control area, or she's still in a bag somewhere else.

like my .45? I had it in my bag (calm down girls, I have a carry permit and I'm well trained with it) and I thought it would be wise to keep it close *FOR PROTECTION ONLY*.

Great, first They leave him stranded on an empty road in the middle of Mexico, then I fall asleep on the beach, I finally find Mouse and her friends, now I'm on a boat full of drug lords, doing God knows what to someone named Raes feathers. Hey that hits a bit close to home he thinks.

How bout this? Spyral asks as he loosens his oversize coat and lets it fall to the floor. A he does, a single fluffy down wing flops out, swinging madly, almost knocking artickat over in the process....

Distraction time! Rae starts wheezing and choking. "Help me! I can't... Can't... Breath!" The three men bend over her (guys are so predictable), and Rae nails one in the side of the head with her fist. THUD!

"Enough you guys! Looks like Rae is making a move! Time for these clown's to pay the piper!" 6th jumps into the middle of the thieves and starts knocking them around like paper dolls.

Mouse and Spyral make a beeline for the boats control panel and the shocked driver makes a grab for mouse. Mouse gives a *squeak* and Spyral yells "HEY!" the driver turns just in time to see the box of paints before they hit him square in the face, knocking him out cold.

"Sounds like a deal!" Spyral turns and stands guard over mouse. "I don't think we have to worry about any goonies coming this way, the girls are keeping them occupied!" #%}

Everyone came out of hiding and introduced Spyral to Rae. While Sixth, arctic and Mouse went up to the front of the boat to tie up their unconcious assailants, Rae, Spyral and KaraS looked for a map.

"But steer it where?" Raven explained. "We're out of sight of land and we don't know where we are. If we just pick a direction we could just end up heading farther out to sea."

Sixth set up the communicator and turned it on. But Ragnar, SWORD and leaped seemed to have fallen asleep in front of the tv and no amount of yelling would get them to wake up.

The girls sorted out their stuff and put some clothes back on while Spyral raided the ship's galley. As they were finishing this it was just starting to get light. Sweetiepie took off to do a little arial reconnisance. When he returned he had news.

"No," the bird said. "It looked more like a Pirate Ship, complete with cannons and a skull and crossbones flag. Don't you just loooove life on the Adventure Channel?"

Here they are, lost on the Pacific? some big lake? Atlantic? Gulf? wherever, with a boat that won’t start, and some broken equipment, ready to be boarded by a passing Pirate ship.

A couple ideas leaped (hee hee) to mind (must be the effects of Leaped’s hat that Mouse stole from him before the adventure started). They could abandon the ship and sit in the dinghy and hope the pirates don’t see them, or they could try to get the boat started or at least push it with the dinghy’s motor. Or, they could dress in their finest (and skimpiest) bathing suits and try to persuade the Pirate ship to help. But thinking about pirates led Mouse to think that maybe exposing pirates to all this prime female flesh may not be a good idea especially if they hadn’t seen land for a while.

“Good going Rae - I knew you’d come out of this okay. As for our situation now, everyone, I think we need to brainstorm before that ship gets any closer...””

Ok, so I messed up. I thought I was doing a GOOD thing by disabling the boat's motor. How was I to know that these bimbos could handle themselves so well in a fight? And where did this new guy come from? Oh well, it looks like he might have some useful skills anyway.

Franticly Spyral and the girls tried to get the boat going so they could avoid the upcoming collision. But no dice. Just as it looked like there was going to be a rending crash as the corsair reduced the speedboat to matchsticks, it slowed and turned just enough to miss the small boat.

Ten pirates swung down from the Pirate Ship and quickly started stealing anything that wasn't nailed down. Spyral and the girls were lifted up to the deck of the larger vessel and the three tied up thieves were tossed up also. They were just waking up.

"No treasure? Too bad." the Captain said. "Stow the booty below and these three thieves too. Blow up the speedboat with the explosives. Take these five beauties and their servant down to my cabbin. Make yourselves comfortable lassies, old Jolly Rodger will be down soon to make your acquaintance better."

As the Pirate Ship pulled off into the rising sun there were the sounds of explosions behind them. Sweetiepie clung to the rigging as his 'Scapers were hustled below decks.

The small recording lens zoomed and focused feeding a continuous visual and sensor feed into the remotes small electronic brain. Compiling in a constant data compression small micro signals in a random burst pattern continued to bleep out to its controller.

Somewhere else...The person watched the screen as the latest intell materialized. The entire episode was played out. The observer couldn't help but chuckled. Perhaps someone should have warned the ladies of the hazards of interdomain travel....they sure seemed to get around!

It was only with a sigh of relief that the reciever was returned. It was rare HE took a personal interest in these things. These ladies must be special indeed! Quickly the observer dampened any personal thoughts and imaginations being toyed with concerning such beauties...it was better not to even think the wrong thought when HE was involved...no the observer would stay well detached from this one!

QUiet she says Just play along. Don't trust these guys, been for one bad ride today already and I'm not going for another so just stay cool and take a look around while we keep them busy.

She turns and smiles sweetly to the Captain, takes his arm in hers, (Mouse has his other) and leads him off with KaraS and artickat in tow behind. Spyral is quickly forgotten.

Meanwhile, the Captain has had his mates bring out his best kegs of rum for his new guests. The ladies have been dressed in the best finery available on the ship and seem in high spirits.

Mouse leads the sailors in a hearty rendition of the theme song from Pirates of the Carribean, she sings quite well for a tipsy mouse. Yo..Ho..Yo..Ho..Its a Pirates Life For Me... she sings.

Karas is demonstrating her expertise in weilding a cutlass, slicing Oreos right thru the Double stuff to the amazement of the crew, who wonder how she can move like that in a skin tight silken gown.

All is seemingly well(too well?) as spyral and parrot, who have wandered down to the wine cellar, where the guard has obviously helped himself into a deep sleep, decide to probe a bit deeper into their current situation.

Mouse kept the rum flowing in the hopes that really stinkin’ drunk pirates were easier to handle that just minorly drunk(and more amorous) pirates. Kara was showing her skill with the cutlass, and whenever she had the chance, she stashed a cutlass away behind her in the “Ladies Powder Room” which she was sure had never been used judging by the still clean facilities. The pirates didn’t seem to notice as they all rushed to offer her a new one to use. Rae was busy talking to the Captain, and keeping him happily occupied, while 6th and artickat are valiantly trying to steal as many daggers as possible while still entertaining the pirates.

As the night wore on, the pirates didn’t seem to be getting any more drunk. It then occurred to Mouse that even though she gets hammered after the 3rd or 4th beer, these guys were MUCH bigger and more used to drinking that she was.

*Well, crap* though Mouse. *I don’t like these looks we’re getting, and although this leather outfit they’ve got me in is cute, it’s a little too low, tight, and altogether too “Xena” for me. We’ve got to do something before these guys wake up and realize we’ve run out of tricks.*

Mouse backed up to Kara and tried to talk over the din of shouts, laughter, and singing. But one pirate reached out and grabbed Mouse by the legs and threw her over his shoulder. Mouse immediately straightened up (can’t have THAT view with this really short skirt) and grabbed an overhanging mast and pulled herself up. She lightly dropped to the ground and made her way around the pirate by saying she was going to get him more rum. She ran back, just to be waylaid by another pirate. “That’s right, more rum, coming up...” she laughed. She ducked and ran straight into the Captain.

Reaching into the vast storage space of his single down Angels wing, Spyral gropes, then smiles with satisfaction as he removes a thin silver hoop, six inches thru the middle. it looks a bit tarnished.

My halo, Spyral says. I'm not really supposed to wear it down here, but it does have a few uses. by placing it against the door, it will allow one of us to pass thru to the other side. Spyral smiles widely at Sweetie.

Hey!!! Easy!!! You wanna see what these pirates are up to or not? Spyral asks. I'm not gonna go back and tell 6th that we didn't check out every corner of this ship for trouble.

"Oh, yes, I was quite a sea-farer in my time." She explains to the mate, matching him drink for drink. "Of course, that was years ago. I'm strictly a sci-fi girl now. But enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Bluebeard. What's your target? And can I get cut in?"

“I’ll be right here, so if you need help, come to the door and say ‘Angels we have heard on high’ and I’ll try to get the door open.” Spyral said before the brave parrot went through the door.

Sweetiepie looked around and couldn’t see a thing due to the darkness in the room. He flew smack into a wall and dropped to the floor. A light went on, and Sweetiepie looked up, startled. A frail-looking old man was looking at him.

“I’m Malachi, the famous inventor. You’ve heard of me, right, RIGHT?!” Malachi yelled. His “Albert Einstein” hair and spectacles made him look befuddled, but he certainly could get some volume in his voice!

“Um, righht! yes, of course, Malachi the inventor, right...” Sweetiepie stumbled around trying to figure out what the strange looking old man was doing on a pirate ship.

“Regretting my biggest mistake ever. I made those pirates who they are today, and they lock me down here with barely enough food to stay alive just so I can fix them when they break! They’re all my inventions and when I gave them artificial intelligence, they became crazed and took over the ship and set sail for adventure. ”

In a valiant attempt to save themself from whatever he wanted to talk about, Mouse and Rae launch into a million questions about the Captain, the ship and it’s functions. Realizing that most people love to talk about themselves, they get him talking and reminiscing. Rae notices that the Captain has a bunch of funny looking metallic scars on his arms. Mouse sees he keeps a big key around his neck on a chain. *That’s got to be for something important* she thinks, and slides her arm around the Captain’s neck. He’s surprised, but happy and never feels the chain slip free from it’s clasp. Then she pats his leg and retrieves the key from where it had fallen into a fold in his clothes. *Timid little Mouse my a$$* she thinks. *I’m not half bad at this secret agent stuff!*

Back down below, Spyral is regretting sending Sweetiepie in through the door, and is pacing back and forth until he hears voices through the door. Actually it’s yelling. Next thing he hears is Sweetiepie telling him to go try to find a big key to unlock the door. "What about the secret code?" Spyral asks. "Just listen! Forget the code. It should be on the Captain’s chain. It seems Malachi has a way to disable the pirates for good!"

Mouse passed over the key and went back to destracting the captain while Spyral tried to move back toward the hatch leading below. Tried was the operative word. He was so busy watching the pirates that he triped over a piece of rope and went sprawling onto his face. He lost his hold on the key and it went skittering across the deck.

"Har, what's this." said Captain Jolly Rodger as he shook the key in Spyral's face. "Stealin' me key are you laddie. No servant boy steals Captain Jolly Rodger's key. And what shall we do with the boy maties."

Spyral gulped as he was pushed toward the plank which two pirates had just set up. One pirate tied his hands behind his back while another brought a heavy chain with a big rock on it and locked it around Spyral's ankles. Once he hit the water, Spyral was going straight to the bottom.

"If you hurt wittle Spywee Whywee...I just don't fink I could wuve my Capy Wapy the way he should be wuved>" Mouse thinks *EEEWWWWW!!! Yuk! I think I'm going to be sick!*

The Captain begins to say something but then he starts twiching and making funny noises. Mouse jumps back away from him as his head starts spinning around and sparks fly everywhere!

Deciding that these pirates probably had more bottles than even their endless alcoholic stomachs could drain, he begins selecting some of the finer vintages at random, shoving them into his wing.

Spyral looks back at the wine, begins selecting bottles of the cheaper wines on the bottom of the shelf and emptying their contents onto the floor. He then refills the empty eleven bottles with Kerosene from the metal drum, replaces their corks, and places them into his wing, careful to keep them separated from the other bottles.

and thinks he's got an awfully wicked grin for one so angelic. She looks down into his wing *Gee, it IS roomy in here* she thinks and her paw touches something hard, smooth and cold.

Spyral complies and the huge white wing stretches up and behind him. The crew is shocked and in the confusion, 6th, Rae and Kara run to retrieve the fallen key.

They look at Spyral who motions with his wing to the hold. They run down the hold, find the door, and open it. Almost flattened n the rush, the girls jump out of the way as Sweetiepie and Malachi burst out and head up and out. "Seduce them, seduce them!!" Malachi is shouting.

Meanwhile, Mouse is busy trying not to lose her lunch while doing her best to distract the Captain and secure Spyral's freedom. When she starts to smell smoke she thinks * Man, I'm better at this than I thought!* But as the Captain's head explodes with a loud 'Whoosh', she sees the real reason for the smoke. Androids!

Artickat and Spyral see the explosion, and take the opportunity to jump off the plank onto the deck. Artickat withdraws a kerosene-filled Molotov cocktail and threatens the crew with it.

Thinking quickly, Kara yells to the girls "Off with your tops!" Spyral hides his eyes, and Mouse and Arctickat stare at Kara who is quickly wiggling out of her top.

As the pirates one by one fall to the ground, Malachi is getting the thrill of his life, and Spyral is dutifully covering his eyes, and turning his back. Sweetiepie is cackling his little head off at the proceedings.

6th looks at the girls. "Thank god we don't have that much of an effect on regular guys!" She picked up one of the pirate heads off the deck and said "Do I make you Horny, baby? Do I?" and tossed it over the side of the ship.

"Too bad I can't call the guys anymore, either." said 6th. "Not that they seem to care about anything other than Claudia, Claudia, Claudia! Jeez, we could all be chopped into bits before one of those lazy, uncaring..." 6th stopped as the other girls looked at her. "Sorry." 6th muttered, looking down. "I'm just frustrated that this trip has not been exactly what I was expecting. Thieves, pirates, lazy, uncaring men...at least one good thing has come out of all this." She walked over to Spyral and hugged him. "Never got a chance to say thanks for earlier." she grinned up at the startled angel.

"So..." 6th said. "DOES anyone know how to sail a ship? Otherwise, we'll be stuck here until someone ELSE comes along. And we haven't had that much luck with helpful people sailing up so far..."

Everyone followed the old man to the pilot house. It was roomier than might have been expected and the instruments were technical enough to make Ragnar's longboat look out of date.

So Malachi did. Sixth, who was used to high tech gadgetry, quickly got the hang of the equipment. She used the satelite telemetry to pinpoint them on the map and plot a course back to land. Then she used the machinery to set sail and snapped on the autopilot.

So they explored the ship. Aside from the wine cellar Spyral had found earlier they found a galley full of delecacies. They found a room full of cash and drugs and weapons. They found a treasure room filled with gold and silver and emeralds. The 'Scapers certainly liked all they found, except for the drugs.

Later they prepared a sumptious meal and ate it off of golden plates. They drank their rare wines out of crystal goblets. Then they went to bed in the huge captain's cabin and slept on satin sheets.

"Oh no no no no no." Malachi said. "Someone has to be on watch in the pilot house. The auto pilot can set a course but it needs to be watched. It won't steer around rocks or account for currents or things like that."

Once they were up on deck, their worst fears were realized. The Pirate Ship had run aground on a rock. Luckily they were in sight of land, it looked like a deserted island.

"But what about the gold." the parrot wailed as the girls ran off. "Angel, you have to help me get some of that gold and jewels. We can store it in that wing-of-holding of yours."

So Sweetiepie, Spyral and Malachi went off to find the treasure. The treasure room was near the bottom of the ship. As the three treasure hunters jumped down ladders and ran down steps they heard the water pouring through the crack in the hull.

At last they reached the treasure room. The water was already up to their knees. Quickly Spyral and Malachi stuffed treasure into Spyral's wing while Sweetiepie sorted through the mounds of treasure and told them what to take. Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound and the ship listed to port. The treasure room door slammed shut.