I'll Be Dog-Gone (2)

I'll Be Dog-Gone (2)

ArtistStudio -- The ship rocks in the water and pulls

to starboard, forcing Ragnar to return to steering - the auto pilot failing to compensate for the unusual motion. 6th follows Ragner to the helm, senses something very familiar about the boat's unusual motion - a few stray sounds confirm her suspicions. . .

"What the frell is destabilizing the boat?" Ragnar grouses, programming the autopilot to compensate - and having to readjust the controls several times.

"Most likely," 6th grins.

Ragnar looks in puzzlement at 6th - then a grimace of irritation crosses his face as a tremendous howling erupts from below. "Drat it! I told you to hush those dogs or I'm going to muzzle them!"

Ragnar stomps off toward the hold with 6th in tow. "Wait, Ragnar - that's not the dogs. . ."

KaraS -- The longboat pulled out of the tunnel...

and into the River Scifi. As they floated peacefully down stream, beautiful countryside on either side of the river, they passed the domains of the various fandoms of The Dominion.

"Hey! There's the First Wave Clubhouse." KaraS said.

"It's not as nice as our mansion." Drumheller observed.

"And look!" Kara pointed out to Artist, Spyral and Drum. "There's the Hercules/Xena temple."

"It looks like the Parthenon." ArtistStudio observed.

"Yeah, back when it was brand new." Spyral said.

"OOOhhh." Sweetiepie said, landing on the railing beside them. "It's Lexx Land."

"It's in kind of questionable taste, isn't it?" Kara said.

"I think it's... interesting." Spyral said.

"You're a guy. You would."

"Hey Ragnar!" Spyral called. "How long will it take us to get to the mouth of the river?"

"We should be there by this evening." Ragnar called back. "Then we can trade at the reality trading post before heading out to sea."

"Anybody who missed the boat can catch up with us there." Drum said.

"Guys, this is going to be an interesting trip."

Viridian -- Viridian was never a Boy Scout, but

she did believe in being prepared. As the trip began, she found a nice quiet spot at the back, er, the stern of the boat and settled in. She unhooked the duffle bag attached to her suitcase, opened it up and pulled out her Groovy Girl Pup Tent. (It had large daisies all over it.) She then inflated her air matress and unrolled her matching sleeping bag. She managed to secure the tent down to the deck, so that it would not blow off the boat in rough weather. She unpacked some of her stuff and carefully set aside the 3 quarts of raspberries she had picked before she had left.

Thus settled, she sat there and studied her friends. She comtemplated their ups and downs, their squabbles and peacemaking. Realizing that 6thy knew diddly about sewing, Viridian decided that if she mended Ragnar's pants, it would go a long way toward soothing any sore feelings that might still remain among her friends. After all, Vi thought, after she had gathered up the clothing and had started her sewing, she had gotten a lot of practice fixing her pink plaid skirt.

Kaybe0 -- Sleeping peacefully

Kay's cocker puppy is curled up in a little furry ball. The great dane wakeing up comes over to investigate, and lets out a curious "WOOF" to get the puppy to wake up and play. Startled, the puppy (Honey or Gabby. Having trouble deciding on a name), looks up at the giant dog in front of her, and tears off up the steps to the scapers, looking for Kay, and crying the whole way. Not seeing her, she climbs up the nearest legs, which happened to be Ragnar's, and didn't stop till she came face to face with him. "What the frell!" Ragnar said, and then looked into the frightened eyes of the puppy. Chuckeling, he reaches down and scratches her behind the ears, and says "Well, little girl, you better toughen up if you are going to travel with that bunch down there, and you are most deffinately not traveling up here. I don't care how cute you are." Still petting her, he finds himself softening, as the tiny little thing is still shaking from fright. Then, as she is still looking him right in the eyes, she squats and starts peeing on his armor. "Okay, that does it!" he yelled grabbing her and putting her down, making her more frightened and therefore causing her to pee again. As everyone laughs at his dilema, Kay grabs the puppy and starts trying to wipe off Rags armor with a damp cloth, and grabs the puppy out of his reach. Mouse quickly takes the puppy and puts it down with her own to play. Ragnar is not sure that he is going to be sane by the end of the trip.

Raven Kat -- "Hey, Rag?"

Rae asks, wandering into the boathouse.

"Evening, Rae." Ragnar says, not turning from the wheel. "What's up?"

"Ever read that animals can sense wierd shifts in the weather before people can?"

"Well, it's npot just Kay's dog. All the dogs are acting wierd, and..."

"And my ears keep poping. And..."

"Rae." Ragnar sighs in exasperation. "Don't DO that!"

"Sorry. I was just wondering if the weather seems funny to you?"

"Funny? Rae, explain yourself."

"Well, doesn't Reality land share a border with Disaster Movie land?"

Ragnar shuffles through his charts. "Yeah. Yeah it does."

Rae nods. "That's what I thought. Wanna show me how one goes about hatch-battening?"

"Yeah." Ragnar nods. "In fact, let me help you."

As the two hurry out of the cabin, a wave comes over the side, soaking Ragnar up to the ankles and Rae up to her knees. Rae lets out a little shriek.

The wind begins to pick up

JilaCosa -- "The sun did not shine."

"It was too wet to play.

So we sat in the house

All that cold, cold wet day."

As Jila sat in the sun on the deck of the Longboat watching all of the little things going on with her friends, and feeling bored out of her mind (the beginnings of trips were always very boring, it didn't matter where you were going)the story 'The Cat In the Hat' began to float through her head.

"I sat there with Sally.

We sat there, we two.

And I said, 'How I wish

We had something to do!

And too cold to play ball.

So we sat in the house.

We did nothing at all.

"So all we could do was to

And we did not like it.

Something went BUMP!"

And at that moment something did go bump! Whatever it was that was messing around with Ragnar's Longboat Auto Pilot before gave the Longboat a major thump this time. Suddenly the Longboat is thrown hard to port.

"Heeeeellp!" shrieks Mouse as the hammock flies out sideways with her still in it.

Viridian, caught of guard, loses half of Ragnar's pants across the deck.

Kara, who is still sitting on Artist's knee, is suddenly flat on her back on the deck, while the other Scoobs are all in the process of trying to refind their balance or falling on the deck.

"Ragnar!" Drum and Spyral yell together. "What the Frell is going on."

Picking herself and then her chair off the deck, Jila heads over to the Pilot house. She knew there wasn't anything she could really do to help but it seemed the safest place to be at the time.

Standing in front of his equipment, Ragnar studies his monitors and dials.

"Any idea what threw the Longboat like that?" Jila asks as she walks through the door.

Sixth Sense Dreamer -- Rag turned to Rae...

a slight smile on his face.

"What's so funny?" she asked as the waves shift the boat around in the water.

"Well, if you think this storm is bad..." he chuckled, "Just wait. This is just a little wind." he looked up at the gray clouds moving rapidly overhead. "Should pass soon. We're nowhere near Reality land yet, or Disaster Land either. Sci-fi, DOminion, all of that lay on the outermost parts of Cyberspace, because they are so far from reality. THis place, all of it, is a type of spiral..."

"What?" Spyral asked, steadying himself on the railing as the ship tossed lightly in the river.

"No, the other kind." Rag waved his hand at the one winged angel. "We're going to come out of the river that empties into the ocean. From there,(After we make a stop at the trading post) we'll go to Cartoon land. Comedy land is actually a string of small islands, since everyone's idea of what's funny varies. it spirals inward from there with the most realistic movie lands near the center and Reality in the middle. WE've got a LONG way to go before we get there...but I'll show you how to batten down the hatches anyway." he looked at Rae, who was still nonplussed.

"But what about this storm?" she asked, as a spattering of rain fell from the clouds.

THis is just a baby." Rag laughed, "The winds blow them around until they blow themselves out...it should pass in a few minutes." as he said that, the rain, what little of it there was stopped.

"Well I'll be...it looked like a big one!" Rae said staring up at the clearing sky.

"Reality storms are funny that way."Ragnar chuckled, "So far out here in the wierdness of Sci-fi, Reality storms just can't handle themselves very well, they tend to fall apart. Trust me, we'll see some big ones before this is over." he put his arm around her. "Now how about we figure out what making the boat rock so much, and then I'll show you how to batten down those hatches?"

Sixth Sense Dreamer -- Search as they might...

No one could find the cause of the boat's infrequent and mysterious rocking motions. The sky had cleared up, and a beautiful sunset lit up the sky. Drum, sitting on the prow, let out a yell as he spied the mouth of the river ahead of them. One one bank was a small log cabin.

"Trading post." Ragnar, steering again, angled the boat for the dock jutting out into the river.

"First thing I've got to find is a mechanic." Ragnar said to 6th, who was standing beside him. Ragnar had spent an hour down in the engine room, going over everything. He couldn't figure out why the boat kept rocking every so often, and then stop for a while, then continue.

The longboat pulled into the dock, and Ragnar let down the gangplank and dropped anchor. The gang, all eager to check out this new sight, gathered in front of him as he stood on the deck.

"Now look," he said, "From here on, you've got to understand something. I'm telling you this so you won't make the same mistakes I did my first time out. The people you meet here and everywhere else, they may LOOK like someone famous, but if you ask them, they'll have no idea what you're talking about, ok?" the gang nodded, "So whoever you meet, keep in mind that they are their own person, with their own life, that part of their life just happens to be a movie or a TV show, ok?" the gang nodded again, and 6th said, "SO can we buy stuff here?"

"Be my guest." Ragnar said, "Just don't expect ME to buy you any souviners, doll." the gang all trooped down the gangplank, up the dock and onto the porch of the little cabin.

A sign hanging above the porch roof read:

Reality trading post

Someone had apparently taken red spray paint and written "Sur-" in front of Reality.

Ragnar opened the door, and he and the gang went inside.

6th took in the shop with wide eyes, as did the others, with the exception of Ragnar, who had been here before, and Artist, which nothing seemed to faze. The store spread in all directions, MUCH bigger than it looked from the outside. And the stuff!!! Everything imaginable was there, and somethings that weren't imaginable. And it was all on sale!

Ragnar turned to the gang, "Now don't get lost." he admonished, before striding away to the main counter.

"Yes, Daddy." Mouse called after him sarcastically.

6th followed Ragnar as the rest of the gang spread out through the store. As they approached the counter, a man stood up from behind it.

"Chong?" 6th said in surprise, before she could stop herself.

"Man, what's with the chick?" the man asked Ragnar, "What's Chong? Something to eat? Cause, man, I'm starving!"

Ragnar pulled 6th aside. "What did I tell you? He's not Chong, he just looks like him! HE's the guy from the '70's show', the one that runs the film shop. This is what he does now...it's not the 70's anymore."

"Oohhh-kay..." 6th said understanding dawning on her face like a sunrise. Ragnar turned back to the counter man.

"You got a mechanic?" he asked.

The counter man squinted at the viking for a moment, as if trying to rememberhow he got there, then said, "Oh yeah, man, I got just the thing!" he pulled out a large dusty book and thumbed through it. "Lessee, Magpies...Mediums...Mechanics! Yeah, man, aisle 42, go straight down that way, man." he grinned a loopy grin and sat back in his chair.

"Coming?" Ragnar asked 6th, "I mean since you're following me around everywhere anyway." the sarcasm was lost on 6th, as she grinned.

"Let's go then!" she said.

"Mind if I tag along?" Artist asked, leaning over 6th's shoulder and startling her.

Ragnar rolled his eyes. *Maybe I should just get a big multi-leash and just let the whole gang follow me around!*

"Don't you want to go look at the store?" Ragnar said aloud. The last thing he needed was a bunch of people following him about, getting in his way. 6th was bad enough. All he wanted was to find a mechanic, and fix his boat, pick up a few supplies and food, and get going.. Those dogs weren't going to find homes for themselves!

Artist waved dismissively. "Seen it." he said, his eyes trailing around 6th.

"So where's Kara?" 6th grinned.

"Why?" Artist grinned back.

"Can we GO???" Ragnar asked, trying not to shout. "My boat..."

6th took his hand, patting it, as if she were trying to calm him down, (when he WAS calm, thank you!)"Come on let's go find the mechanic." They headed off down the aisles, Artist following behind. Every so often, 6th would look behind herself, watching Artist glancing away, and wondering just what the heck he was looking at? The aisles were wide anough for several people to walk side-by-side...and yet he stayed about five feet behind her, humming softly to himself.

*Such an odd guy...* she thought, *not bad..but unusual*

Ragnar reached aisle 42, scanned the rows quickly, then pulled out a box and set it on the floor.

6th leaned over it as he opened it, and gasped as a man, obviously a mechanic, got up out of the box, stretched, and said, "Need a mechanic? I'm a rental, you pay for me at the..." Ragnar grabbed him, pulling him down the aisle. 6th had to run to keep up with him. Ragnar flipped the counter man a coin and hurried outside with the mechanic, already telling him what was wrong with the boat, the mechanic nodding wisely.

6th stopped at the door, watching him hurry down the path to the dock. Shrugging, she turned around and ran smack into Artist again. He must have really booked to get back to the front of the store, yet there wasn't a hair on his head out of place, and he didn't have to catch his breath, as 6th was trying not to do.

"How...?' was all she could manage. Artist just grinned.

"Never mind." 6th said, brushing past him, "I'm going to check out the store I guess. Coming with me?"

He smiled and offered her an arm, "Always." he said.

"But I thought you'd already seen the store...that IS what you told Ragnar...isn't it?" she smiled at him toothily.

"I have seen the store." he countered, and 6th didn't have a reply for that one.

KaraS -- The trading post was...

much bigger on the inside than the outside. From the outside it looked like a little log cabin. On the inside it looked like a giant WalMart with stranger merchendise than you ever imagined.

"This is so cool." KaraS said.

"Yeah, it IS pretty cool isn't it." said Sweetiepie, sitting on her shoulder. "But then this is the Scifi trading post. They aren't all this interesting. In the Western Channel trading post all you can get are horseshoes and barels of flour and stuff."

"I guess you've really been around huh?" Kara asked.

"I've been here and there." the small parrot said. "You know, the Western Channel wouldn't be a bad place to go to find homes for the dogs."

"Let's suggest it to Ragnar." Kara said. "He'll be back on the longboat by now."

As Kara and Sweetiepie reached the longboat they heard the dogs barking like mad.

"You know, they haven't been walked for a while." Kara said. "We really should get them some fresh air."

So Kara went and got a couple of leashes (she was going to walk them two at a time) and opened the hold door.

The dogpack flowed around her like a whitewater river and up the stairs and down the gangplank onto the shore.

"Oh no!" Kara said. "What am I going to tell Sixth?"

Viridian -- Vi was working her way through the Art

Supply section, happily filling her shopping basket with tubes of paint, when she heard a sound that made her pause and look up.

The sound of barking.

The sound of animals running.

MANY animals running.

OH NO!! she thought. Who let the dogs inside the Trading Post?

Artist Studio -- Dogs run wild through the trading post

Artist was just examining some of the more interesting items in the post - making jokes about some of the more obsure items that make 6th giggle and blush when their conversation is suddenly drown out by the barking of dogs, the distressed cries of the man behind the counter, the shouting of Scoobs and the sound of lots of delicate and no-doubt expensive items being broken.

"Oh no!!!!" 6th cries.

"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs," Artist mutters to himself in frustration - then turns to follow 6th as she races off to deal with the dogs.

Fortunately for the store owner, the Scapers have many skills and swiftly put them to good use -

Rae races about the store, immobalizing each dog with a spell - they become living statues.

Spyral carries each dog to the door, leaving them in an odd looking group just outside the front door.

Kara comes in in the midst of the rescue and gathers the remaining Scapers, getting them out of the store as fast as possible.

Drumhellor casts a spell which causes the dogs to float back toward the longboat - they whine and bark in panic as Rae's spell wears off.

Artist stands in the middle of the store, spinning with his arms outstretched - and the store is suddenly immaculate - neater than it was before the Scapers came -

6th soothes and comforts the store owner in her unique, persuasive way -

Artist comes up and whispers in her ear and they exit quickly - an outraged howl comes from the store behind them.

The Scapers and dogs are already loaded and Rag is ready to cast off - while Artist and 6th race up the gangplank - the outraged store owner huffing and puffing behind them.

"What the. . .?" the viking starts -

"Cast off!!! NOW!!!" Artist shouts and the viking, responding to long training and the common need for quick get-aways - casts off.

The store owner stands on the shore, shaking his fist and quivering in rage.

"But you cleaned up his store," 6th says.

"No - it just looked that way," Artist responds. "The damage was so extensive I couldn't cover it for very long." Artist's hair is matted, his white tuxedo stained and wrinkled - he takes a deep breath, bends over - and when he stands again, his hair and clothing are mysteriously immaculate again.

RagnarRB -- Perhaps...

...I better wait a couple of cycles before coming this way again. Ragnar thinks to himself. 6th was not within sight. That was probably a good thing at the moment.

He made a quick mental note of spots NOT to take this crew. There were some places he'd just miss too much. Reputation counted for a lot in these parts.

Offending the Trading Co. was not high on the list of smart things to do. Not only would his account there be marked now odds were that the story would go out and he might find himself blackballed at ALL of the Tradingposts. That could be disasterous at sometime in the future. This journey or another.

He only hoped the old smuggler networks...err private trading orginizations were still where he remembered. They hadn't gotten any supplies before 6th mongrels had gotten loose. At least he still had the mechanic...as long as the mechanic didn't.... no let him finish his work first. There would be time for that later.

I wonder if 6th realized that the dogs would be even harder to get rid of now.

I can almost feel the grey hairs growing...sigh...and continued to stew.

Drumheller -- "Don't worry Rag."

Drumheller said, patting his friend on the shoulder. "I'm sure the trader will forget all about this in a cycle or two."

"Gee, thanks Drum." Ragnar replied. "I feel soooo much better now."

"No problem pal," Drumheller said, ignoring the sarcasm. "Anything to cheer you up. Where are we headed now?"

"To Cartoon land, I think." Ragnar said as he unrolled his map. "It shouldn't take long to reach it."

Drumheller noded, and went to sort through the new goodies he picked up at the trading post. *Some of these new spell components should come in handy.* He thought to himself.

In the cargo hold, Sixth and Mouse tried to get the dogs to calm down.

Kara and Artist returned to their snuggle positions.

Vi looked through her new art supplies, and pondered her next masterpiece.

Jila, Rae, Kaybe, and Chryse quietly discussed their future destinations.

Artic lounged in the hammock, which was finaly Mouse-free.

Drumheller looked at the gang, as they went about their business. "Well, it looks like we're in for another great adventure." He said to himself. "Can't wait until we get to the next waypoint, it should be interesting."

Raven Kat -- "Alas, a shopping trip cut short..."

Rae sighs. Then she brightens. "But ALL is not lost. I did manage to make a FEW purchases before I was distracted." Rae holds up a small card with a PeaceKeeper logo on the front. "PK Express. Don't leave your home planet without one."

"So," Mouse asks, grinning. "What did you get?"

"Weapons? Rae, really..."

"Not JUST weapons. Really, Mouse. I also got rations and..."

"AND?" Mouse and Artic demand.

"Stuff." Rae smiles crypticly. "Sure to come in handy at some point. Not important now." Rae rises and reaches into her Bag of Holding, pulling out a couple of guitars. Then she walks onto the deck, beconing the others to follow her.

"Hey, what's up?" Ragnar asks as the girls troop onto deck.

"Well, it's a beautiful night and we are in the company of friends and in good spirits," Rae says. "So I figured an evening of fun and music would not be amiss. Sound good?"

"Great." Rae smiles happily. "I get the first dance. Mouse, Spy could you play something slow for us?"

artickat -- *Sigh*

Artickat swings back and forth in the hammock with one of those wonderful tropical drinks, a little pink umbrella sticking out of it. "I'm just going to hang out here...I just don't get all my cat naps in when we are on an adventure." <YAWN> "Here kitten, you can have my umbrella." Artic leans over a little and sticks the umbrella into the top of kitten's little hammock. Kitten 'meows' in thanks as she gently swings back and forth clutching her own tropical drink. "Ahhhh...this is the life...eh kitten? I have to say...Drum makes some mighty fine tropical drinks...must be the magic."

"Meow!" kitten replies and takes another sip of her drink.

ArtistStudio -- as 6th comes back to the deck, she finds

Artist playing a sweet song on the guitar - the other guitarists following along. A tap on her shoulder and she turns, startled out of her wits to see Artist standing behind her while she can still hear him singing and playing.

"Where'd you get the twin?" 6th asks

Artist grins - "I keep a lot of songs recorded - that's a romantic slow dance program. They didn't notice when I stopped playing and let the program take over."

6th looks back at the startlingly lifelike illusion and wonders if the real Artist is with her at the moment - she returns her attention to him suddenly when he kneels and kisses her hand - that FELT real enough!

"Will you do me the honor of a dance, my dear?" Artist produces a rose from nowhere and offers it to 6th - when the takes the rose it comes to life, the petals flouering open = then it dissipates with a sweet scent.

6th laughs a little, then tries to regain her composure as the guitar music, the starry night, the slow rocking of the boat, the rose fragrance, the flickering torch light and a little Kaluah she had earlier work their magic. . .

Sweetiepie Parrot -- Sweetiepie came in for a landing...

on Spyral's shoulder.

"Hey Angel." he said. "You still got any of that treasure we... liberated... from that pirate ship in your wing?"

"Well, not IN my wing. I cleaned it out, remember? But I've still got some of it back in the Mansion. Why?"

"I was thinking." the bird said. "Perhaps we could put that gold toward Ragnar's bill for damages when we get back."

"That's not a bad idea Sweetiepie. Not a bad idea at all."

As one ArtistStudio played the guitar and another danced with Sixth, Kara looked on and sighed. It was stupid to be jealous. Trying to own ArtistStudio's affections was like trying to own the wind, ie. useless. And Kara didn't really want him to change. Still, watching them dance she couldn't supress a twinge. And she had noticed similar twinges in Sixth's eyes when Kara and Artist had been... close. Kara really really hoped that this would not come between the girl's friendship. She was glad Artist had come, but it was still awkward. A paradox not unlike ArtistStudio himself. A riddle that...

There was a sudden lurch as the longboat listed suddenly to starboard.

And similar things were heard as the 'Scapers tried to stay on their feet and not fall overboard.

"I'm going down to the engine room again. What does that frellin' mechanic think he's doing down there?" Ragnar fussed.

"It's not the engine this time Ragnar." Sweetiepie called from aloft. "Look out in the ocean."