I'll Be Dog-Gone (16)

I'll Be Dog-Gone (16)

RagnarRB -- Momma! Momma! He killed the kitten!

Tweety had almost slipped into the steak house when the little girl had started wailing and balling. She was standing on the side walk, one three year old arm pumping her mothers dress for attention, the other pointing at a big old hounddog that had a kitten clenched in its mouth. ...a kitten?

<<I did ,I did ,I did see a pooty cat!>>

A little yellow form followed along in the dogs wake.

*********************************************

Kitten tossed and turned as life crept back into her. Her little paws batted the air and she meowed in what sounded more like a strangled cat than an artickat. She rolled onto her belly, disorientated....

Her tail throbbed....

Her eye...her eye wouldn't open!

A whimpering sigh escaped her tiny lips as she placed a paw over the eye. It was tender and wouldn't open at all. *mean old alleycat! She was going to tell artickat first chance she got. They wouldn't get any crunch...ever!

The other eye seemed to work a little better.

"Duh....hello" (Sounding like a low growl in dog talk)

Amazing how wide that working eyeball got, even the swollen one seemed to peak a little. She wasn't sure what she'd just awoken to but it had a lot of teeth and it was really, really, really, REALLY close!

You ever see one of those movies where the cats hair stands on end, they spring to their feet and its as if their toes launch them ten feet into the air where they miraculously get turned about and wind up clutching the overhead light fixture? Well, make it someones old jeans hanging on a cloths line and kitten would have put them to shame. And they say artickats are slow. "Don't eat me!" She wailed in between trembles.

"Duh... I won't eat you little kitten."

"Duh...haw, haw haw...you're so funny."

Kitten finally opened her eye again. *Gee, she thought to herself, *It's just a big old dog! Not a monster.Good thing Thor and the rest weren't around. They'd laugh at her for sure!

"Promise?" She insisted.

She looked around for a way down, slowly making little tears in the pants as she did. Reaching the end of the leg she dropped down and landed on all fours...not quite steady.

She padded over to the dog. "You scared me."

"Duh...I'm sorry...I just wanted to help." His big head lowered like maybe she said something to hurt his feelings."Duh...I'll go away now..."

This was kind of sudden Kitten thought.

"Wait, you don't have to go!"

"Really" she replied with emphasis. well as best she could with a swollen and bruised jaw.

The big dog seemed to light up immeadiately. Talk about a quick mood change!

"I'm Kitten." She announced. "Who are you?"

"Duh...I'm Elvis...and I aint nothin but a hound dog!" He began to howl....

Mouse2000 -- Kitten looked at Elvis

and thought to herself *this guy would be REALLY useful in getting Mr. Duckie back - he's so big no one would think he's on my side!*

Kitten looked up at the big dog and, meowing softly said, "Where's your family? Don't they worry about you out here on the streets with those mean pussycats and no Crunch?"

The dog looked at her and woofed, "Uh...they're not here. I've been here. I don't know which way they went... (which way did they go... which way did they go...) I don't know when they went which way. I guess I don't know much..." He nodded his head dejectedly and added, "When are you going to go away too?"

Kitten stood as high as her battered little body would hold her and looked him straight in the paw, then craned her neck so she could look into his soft brown eyes. "You want to come with me? I know a place that's safe and warm and there's food and toys and more dogs you can play with. And Crunch!" she added, which sealed the deal. Elvis put her gently on the top of his head, and she navigated from there. Unfortunatly, she didn't have a clue as to which way the boat was. But she did remember her lost backpack full of Crunch, and now, with reinforcements, she was going back to reclaim it!

Raven-Kat -- The boat hops along the water,

Rae muttering the whole way about HUMAN technology and lines of force. Finally, she stops her muttering, stares at Ragnar and says "Good guy. About 78% of the time."

Ragnar blinks at her as he keeps hopping up and down (it's actually kind of fun). "Okay..."

"Are we there yet?" IQ asks, pointing at the shore. "Doesn't look familiar to me."

"At least looks hospitable." Ragnar says, observing the palm trees and myriad other forms of plant life. "Let's put down. Might be Africa. Or India."

The crew sets ashore and walks along the beach until the sun begins to go down. They set up a small camp (tents courtesy of Rae's magic bag) and build a HUGE fire to scare away wild animals as well as attract any near-by ships.

As it grows full dark, the air is filled with strange noises.

Rae gets slowly to her feet and arms herself. "I knwo this place." she whispers.

"Yeah?" Ragnar and IQ ask together.

"The Land That Time Forgot." Rae whispers. "The Lost World."

Sixth Sense Dreamer -- The stage coach rounded a corner...

Barreled through the park separating the Old West from 30's Hollywood, and flew down Sunset Strip. 6th was laughing her head off, whooping and yelling, having a great time as she drove the stagecoach down the street.

Drum gulped as 6th swerved, narrowly missing the oncoming cars. She looked at him laughing, "Nothing like a good game of chicken, huh?"

"No more, 6th! Please!" Drum gasped, holding onto the side bar for dear life.

6th stuck her tongue out at him, "Spoilsport!" she muttered, and pulled the carriage into a sharp turn into an alley.

"Where are we going?" Drum yelled over the clattering of hooves.

"To the party!" 6th laughed, "We have to hurry, the flyer said it's already started!"

The back of the building 6th had driven around had a wide ramp leading up to the inside. Drum realized she was going to drive the stagecoach right up the ramp at the same time that 6th rounded the horses up and raced for the ramp.

"Oh god, 6th, DON'T!!!" he yelled, but 6th just laughed.

"Low bridge!" she cried as the stage coach flew up the ramp, under the open garage door, and into the darkness inside. Drum hit the foot rest, his hands over his head, expecting a crash.

There was a <woosh!> of wind, and 6th reined up the horses. Drum looked up to see 6th's shadowy form in the darkness. He could make out her shoulders shaking, and her laughter was echoing in his head.

"You're not laughing at ME, are you?" he asked, pulling himself to his feet.

"I'm just laughing for the sake of it." 6th said.

The stagecoach door opened below them, and Mouse and Spyral staggered out.

"Were you trying to KILL us!" Spyral yelled, once the dark shadowy shapes quit spinning in front of his eyes.

Mouse just groaned, "I think I'm going to be sick!"

6th slid down off the driver's seat. "Boy, you guys! A little drive and you're all worn out!" she laughed and shook her head.

Spyral grabbed her shoulder. "Next time, I drive, ok?"

6th looked from his hand to his face, her eyebrow raised. "You don't have to be so rough!" she said, shrugging his hand off of her. "Sure you can drive next time, what do I care?" she turned away abruptly, to look at Mouse, noticing their western wear as if for the first time.

"What are we doing in these rags?" she cried, "We need a change of..." Suddenly the darkness grew lighter, and the four Scoobs noticed the curtain behind them rising up into the air.

"What's going on?" Mouse asked.

"I thought that was a wall!" Spyral watched it rise.

Drum looked at what was behind the curtain. His face grew pale.

"Uh...6th?" he pointed, and 6th whirled around, her hands in defensive positions.

Sixth Sense Dreamer -- The four Scoobs watched...

as the lights shone on the stage. The audience was clapping, hooting and hollering. Drum scanned the crowd, shading his eyes from the bright lights. He recognized so many famous classic celebraties, but his eyes lit on the Three Stooges front row, center.

This WAS the party! But instead of mingling with the crowd like they'd thought, 6th had driven them right onto the main stage! The party thought that he and his friends were the entertainment!

"Oh frell..." Mouse muttered, backing away slowly.

6th stood frozen in her defensive position as their situation sunk in. She stood up, brushing off her duster, and walked to the front of the stage, picking up the microphone.

"Oh 6th, DON'T!" Spyral hissed. She ignored him.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" She said, her voice echoing through the room as the crowd quieted. "you're regularly scheduled show will not be seen tonight, so we can bring you the finest in magical and humorous entertainment! Please welcome the fabulous Scoobs!" she cried, and led the audience in another round of applause, as she hauled the three embarrassed Scoobies out in front. "First off we have Spyral, the famous one-winged angel! That's right folks, he has just one wing!" She elbowed Spyral in the side. "Show them the wing." she whispered.

"Are you NUTS???" SPyral hissed at her.

"They'll think it's an act, just do it!" 6th said, her voice getting hard. Spyral frowned, then, sighing, he unfolded his wing.

The crowd gasped, then oooohed and ahhhhhed at him. Spyral rolled his eyes at 6th, then folded his arms, and turned around so the crowd could get a look at the back.

6th grinned. "And ladies and gentlemen, not only does this angel straight from heaven have a wing, but it is the wonderous Wing of Plenty! Yes, and we're going to show it to you right now!"

Drum had to admit, 6th stage presence was fantastic. She had the audience under a spell. She had the dramatics down pat anyway...too bad she was working with a less than enthusiastic cast.

"Mouse, will you show these kind people what wonders our angel has hidden in his mysterious wing?" 6th said, smiling like a shark.

"No!" Mouse shook her head, her eyes unable to tear away from the crowd watching.

"Come on Mouse! There's nothing that will bite you in there!" 6th said, catching her arm.

"Uh-uh!!" Mouse tried to put the stagecoach between her and the crowd, but 6th wouldn't let go.

6th covered the microphone, and whispered to Mouse, "Look, this party was invite only! The only way we could get in was this way. Play along and after the show, we can mingle. If we don't, they'll likely tear us apart!" Mouse looked at 6th, then out at the crowd, who were silently waiting.

"O...k" Mouse said finally, "But you could have warned us first!"

"Eh." 6th shrugged, "It's more fun this way!"

Mouse walked over to Spyral and began rummaging in his wing. The crowd gasped as Mouses' head disappeared into Spy's wing, and Drum realized that it did look a bit odd, Mouse's head and shoulders disappearing into the wing like that. The crowd began to applaud as Mouse began hauling stuff out of Spyral's wing. A pillow; a fishtank, filled with fish; a blender; a copy of 'BladeRunner' on DVD; a giant jar of peanut butter; a basket of kittens; a large candleabra; a kermit the frog puppet; a table loaded with pies; the front end of a voltswagon...Mouse stopped there, and pushed the voltswagon back in Spy's wing, no WAY was she hauling THAT thing out! She turned around to the crowd, who were cheering wildly and applauding.

She grinned, and she and Spyral both took bows. Perhaps 6th's idea wasn't so bad...

6th was applauding too, and grinning at them both, she winked at them, then turned back to the audience. "And now, for your pleasure, we have brought in the most famous and impressive magician ever seen on this earth! Please give a warm welcome to the fabulous Drumheller!" the audience roared with applause, and Drum realized they expected him to blow their socks off. He swallowed hard.

*oh 6th, please don't!* he thought to her.

*What's the matter, Drum sweetie? Too chicken?* 6th grinned at him, all teeth. The realization hit him, that 6th was egging him on. *come on, give the people a good show!*

*But...but what do I do?* Drum asked.

*Well, change your clothes for starters! You don't look like a magician!* 6th grinned.

The audience had settled down and were waiting on him. Drum began to get an idea...

RagnarRB -- Ragnar threw some more wood

on the fire. There were deffinately things moving around out there, things he didn't want to meet. At least his attire had changed to fit the scene.

"You sure that'll keep them away?" a nervous Pedro asked.

Ragnar smiled, let the two hoodlums sweat a bit, they earned it.

He was careful not to stare at the fire directly. His night vision wasn't too bad thank you very much.

"Any idea where we are?" It was IQ's turn to ask.

Rae shrugged. "Beats me, at least in respect to the other lands anyway. Ragnar?"

He stirred the fire some more. "Well its a little hard to say for sure but we're likely at least a days walk from the african desert. If i remember the maps correctly all the desert settings interconnect at some point. Kind of like an oasis in the middle. Arabia, Casablance, they're all there. Some also brush against each other but all can be found from the oasis."

"You mean we have to walk out of here?" Pedro protested.

"No..."Ragnar shrugged..." I suppose you could stay and be a snack..."

RagnarRB -- Bwehehehehaha

"You didn't think you could escape me that easially did you me pretties?" Cackled a menacing voice.

The three laughing Scoobettes contained their own cackling long enough to sit up and look at the apparition that had appeared. The old crone was stooped and dark, dressed all in black with her pointed hat wrinkled and worn. She was also blocking the yellow brick road.

"Kill my sister and get away with it, think ye?! Never!"

Sun snickered and looked at the other two. Now where had the three of them heard this story before? Oooo so scary...:)

The three smiled at each other. "The wicked witch of the West right?" Chryse asked between grins.

"And uh...your sister...the uh wicked witch of the whatever...a house fell on her?"

"So you admitt your crime me dears? Excellent! Even the Wizard won't aid a confessor!"

"Take a hike lady." Sun offered her part. "Get real. Like you're going to do something big and bad to us!"

"Silence you petulent child!"

"Petulent?" ot oh, Sun didn't like that.

"I'll show you petulent old hag!" She reached for her peacekeeper side arm...it wasn't there. Dorthy never had one of those.

The Witch of the west simmered and glared. The laughter seemed to fade away.

"Yes little girl, squirm! I shall take my revenge for what you did...and I shall start with these three!"

With that the three dogs vanished in a puff of smoke. A senister cackling echoed away for the Witch was gone as well....

"Frell...." Sun muttered.

Raven-Kat -- “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

Jeff and Pedro stare in horror. Ragnar and IQ just stare.

"Rae?" Ragnar says slowly (and carefully). Either Rae is ready to leave them to be dinosaur fodder or she is forming an idea. Bad news either way...

"There's no way that a large group like this is going to make it out of here in one piece." Rae explains. She points to the boat which they've deflated and are using as a make-shift tent. "And no way that thing's going to get us back out through the currents. You guys DID notice the current?"

"Yeah." IQ says. "We weren't even working for the last half-mile to shore."

"So the sea's not going to take us back." Rae concludes. "The best thing is for one or two of us to go and get help. The rest will just need to help out. What do you guys think?"

RagnarRB -- No, we all go

Rae just looked at him.

He sighed. "Peace Rae, you're idea isn't without merit but it won't work here."

"Because here won't exactly be here when we try to get back." That seemed to get everyones attention.

"I don't follow you Rag." IQ offered.

"Well its like this...try to keep in mind the world in which we live. Right now the Farscape lands are blossuming and growing, thats because the show is popular. When the ratings drop we'll shrink like all the others."

Jeff and Pedro were just looking at each other.

"Each of these shows and settings, the lands in which we travel ,all spin off of one source, Reality. If another paragrim arises then another land is formed. That's why I'm constantly updating the maps and fretting over them. The maps aren't an obsesion as much as a necessity.

The olders lands, the ones we're traveling in stay pretty much in the same spot but the newer ones, the uncharted territores don't. They haven't shaken out yet.

"Its pretty much the same thing on the islands themselves. The ports, the docks, the gateways are all well loved settings and environments. The further you get from those the more strange or uncommon the setting you encounter. It's like the ratings again. The more popular it is the more prosperous it is."

"But what's that have to do with us?"

"Everything Rae. You and i may remember the Lost lands here but stop and consider that it was actually a cult film of sorts. It wasn't widly know or appreciated and the current generation probably doesn't know much about it at all. It shrinks and retracts with that knowledge.

"Again think of it in the terms of rating. If some movie mongel was to make a remake of the film it would find sudden renewed popularity. The land here would swell. Once the film had been out for a while and faded into obscurity again the land would shift and shrink accordingly as some other pocket out there grew."

"I think I'm getting it." IQ ventured. "What you're saying is that since the lands are always changing in size and shape the borders will be different, shifting. That means the coast line here will change. The coast could suddenly be a mile further out or inland."

"Exactly! The fact that rae oticed the current means a shift is already beginning."

Pedro and Jeff looked nervously at each other.

"What about the towns?"

"There aren't any here to speak of. Where there are you have urban blight then urban renewal. The core streets and such will always stay the same, especially in the ports where so much traffic is.In these desert settings the diziens roam the dessert, they don't have need for exact locations and such, just general directions and landmarks."

Rae seemed to think that over.

"In a nut shell Rae, even if i agreed to leave them behind we would have to travel the desert three times. out, in, and back out again, Each time the path would be different and possibly lead to somewhere else."

"Man this place is weird."

Ragnar shruged, "It has it's charm. That's why i keep warning everyone to be careful. Little is as it seems."

Viridian -- As Time Goes By -- Part Six

Viridian returned to the table and sat down next to Jila. “Where’s Artist?” she asked.

Both Jila and Artic were busy eating their cheeseburgers. “Whi wheenk whee...” Jila started to say, then realized she was trying to talk with her mouth full. She held up a finger to hold off more questions while she chewed vigorously. “I think he went over to talk to that lady,” she was finally able to answer. She indicated Ilsa Lund.

Viridian looked across the room to see the Ingrid Bergman character seated with Rick, their heads bowed toward each other. They were deep in conversation and oblivious to the crowd. Viridian idly picked french fries off of Artic’s plate and scanned the room. “I knew that he had been to Classics Land before, but I didn’t think he knew her....”

Artic looked at Vi like she was nuts. “Puleeeezzze!” she protested. “A beautiful woman.... Artist.....This isn’t rocket science, Vi.”

“Point taken,” Viridian said and reached for another french fry. Artic slapped her hand away. Grabbing one anyway, she wagged it at her friend. “By the way, Miss ‘Artic-I-ain’t-nothing-but-trouble’, there is something I have to talk to YOU about,” she announced as Artic blinked in surprise, “but first I want to find out where Artist went.” Snatching a last fry, she rose and went off to talk to Ilsa Lund.

Artic stuffed the last of her cheeseburger in her mouth and wiped it with her napkin. “Who knew you could get such a swell cheeseburger in the middle of-- where the hezmana are we?”

Jila just sat there looking at her.

Under this scrutiny, Artic began to squirm. “Jeez Jila, how come you’re staring at me like that?”

Jila put on her best ‘Mom Talking to Naughty Child’ voice. “Is there something you want to tell us, Artic?”

“Whaaa? About Indy?”

“What about Indy?”

“Well, I didn’t take the damn statue! Even though he thinks I did!” Artic was defiant in her innocence.

Jila put down her fork and waited.

Artic fiddled with her pickle slice for a while. With a big shrug of her shoulders and a loud sigh, she threw the pickle down onto her plate. “Artist isn’t the only one who has been here before,” she began, “I was here a couple of years ago. Why I ended up in Classics Land is a long story-- let’s just say it was a good place to hide out. I wandered around for a while and ended up in Egypt.”

“Indy’s Egypt?”

“Actually it was the Egypt of the ‘Mummy’. How I ended up in Indy’s world, I really don’t know. I was being chased by some thugs in this pyramid and suddenly Indy was there and he helped me get away.” She pushed the pickle slice around her plate. “I think he thought I was a lost orphan.” She gave Jila a lopsided grin. “Kinda of like Peter Pan or something. Anyhow, I hung out with him for a while. It was fun, y’know, digging up old stuff and all that.

One day-- one of the tunnels of the dig he was working on collapsed. It nearly killed one of his workers,” she shuddered, “we all worked like crazy to dig the man out, so it wasn’t until much later in the day that Indy realized that the collapsed tunnel had revealed this hidden room.

It was amazing! Oh Jila, you should have seen it! There was all this old stuff in there! Indy said it was a couple of thousand years old! Can you imagine that? anyhow, we went through all the stuff and there was this statue of Bast.”

Artic finally took a bit of her pickle. “Bast,” she repeated, waving the pickle for emphasis. “The Egyptian Cat Goddess. Well of course I HAD to take a good look at it.” She paused, let the pickle drop to the plate and looked around to see if anyone was listening. She radiated discomfort.

“What happened Artic?”

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I really don’t know. I went into the tent where the old stuff was stored, there was no one around-- everybody was asleep. I just wanted to look at the statue. I didn’t even know there was a Cat Goddess until Indy told me about her.” Artic fiddled with her napkin and her words came out in a rushed whisper. “I don’t know Jila-- one moment I was holding the statue-- I was just looking at it and then there was a flash and then there was this woman standing there-- she had a cat’s head on her instead of a woman’s head-- and y’know that isn’t really so weird if you think about it, just look at me and then I remember her saying something, but I can’t remember what she said and then there was another flash and then I woke up and the statue was gone.” She took a deep breath. “Anyhow, I didn’t want Indy to think I stole the statue, but I figured he would think that anyway, so I left.”

Jila tried to take this all in. “Have you tried telling him this?”

Artic threw up her hands in disgust. “Do ya think he’d believe me?? Yeah right!”

Just then Viridian came marching over. “I think I know where Artist went. Kara showed up and he left with her.”

“I know, I know, I wished they had stop to tell us, but if we hurry, maybe we can catch them.” Viridian handed a passing waiter a handful of bills to pay for their meal. “C’mon.”

The trio left the cafe. Except for the neon sign above the door, the street outside was dark and there was no one around. Then suddenly, they were blinded by the blaze of headlights. Dark forms rushed toward them. Before the Scoobys could react, they were grabbed and their heads were covered with foul smelling sacks. Then they were bundled roughly into the waiting car which roared away. They didn’t even have time to scream.

A lone figure in an old leather jacket and a battered fedora started up his motorcycle and pulled out of the shadows where he had been waiting. Jamming his hat down hard on his head, he rode off, following the car into the absolute dark of the desert.

Viridian -- “HONEY!!!!!!!!”

Kaybe cried. "You smelly sack of bones! What did you do with MY PUPPY???!!!"

There was no reply, only the fading echoes of the Witch's laughter.

"Honnnnneeeyyyy!!!!" Kaybe took off down the Yellow Brick Road, her braids flying behind her.

"KAYBE! Oh FRELL!" Sunnie swore. She hurriedly slipped on her ruby slippers; Chryse did the same. "Here Chryse grab her shoes-- how in the hezmana are we to RUN in these things???"

The two took off after their friend.

RagnarRB -- Here Mr. alleycat, come meet Elvis

Kitten cooed from her position atop the world...well atop Elvis's head anyway. She eyed the entrance to the alley from their concealment across the street. A little anticipatory kitten snicker.

She had been suprised at just how far Elvis had carried her. They had traveled several blocks to get back here. She wasn't certain how much time had passed.

"duh...here we are kitten."

She patted her mount on the head. "I knew you could find it Elvis!"

"Uh...ah shucks kitten..."

"Shhh lets get closer, I see movement..." Well she did. Trouble was with only one good eye it was hard to tell what movement. Her bumps and bruises were really sore too.

Elvis started out into traffic...

*******************************************

In the alley there was indeed movement. And it wasn't happy.

Thor often found kitten a pain in the rump, but she was THEIR kitten and thoughts of what might have befallen her had ratcheded not only his concern but his irritation as well. It was evident in the others also.

Poor stupid alleycats...should have left the crunch alone.

They had just found the little backpack when the cats had reappeared. They had no idea what Thor was. Tsk tsk...good thing cats have nine lives.

"Give us that pack, its ours." The Grey one had hissed as his compatriots spread out."

"Excuse me?" Sweetie had replied.

"The pack, give it to us."

*The kitten that was carrying it. Where is she?* Thor interjected, coming strait to the point.

Not all cats are wise like artickats, not that artickats always know when to keep their mouths shut either but...they have their redeeming qualities...called intelligence for one.(that and they watch Farscape)

"Ah that little pest...we got rid of here. Bonked her a good one we..."

The cat never did get to finish.