I'll Be Dog-Gone (18)
Mouse2000 -- Drum, Spyral, and 6th
looked at the big hole in the speedboat, and then noticed the larger boat off to the other side of the lagoon. It had hit a big rock, and looked about as out of commission as their smaller speedboat was.
"Well, I was just thinking about how I could use a tropical vacation, but now and this way was NOT what I had in mind." Mouse muttered. "Hope somebody is feeding Juno and the other guys." Spyral gave her a jab and a smile that said *Come on, loosen up, this could be a lot of fun!*
6th finally calmed down about the shark whose fin could still be seen circling the lagoon and the four decided to explore a bit. Temporarily forgotten were 6th's earrings, as the lure of warm sunshine and tropical palm trees were all these four needed to get them in the adventuring mood. They got their supplies out of the boat, and Drum cast a small protection spell around them to keep away any nasty bug or animals they might encounter.
As soon as it was safe, they started off into the island, just to be met by a funny-looking little guy in a red shirt, white pants, and a hat, yelling, "Skipper!! Skipper!!! Someone found us!!" who promptly ran headfirst into a palm tree, knocking himself out cold.
"I thought we just left the Comedy Classics." Drum said with a sigh.
JilaCosa -- As the flying monkees get closer to
the Wicked Witch's castle, the "Dorothy" triplets start hearing the barking of the dogs. Kaybe, SunAeryn, and Chryse catch each others eye as they all come to the same conclusion. This is not a whiny, scared bark they are hearing. This is a mean, ugly, guard dog kind of bark (with, of course, the high pitched bark of a very mad Cockerpup). The girls chuckle to themselves knowing what the scene will be when they touch ground in the Witch's main room.
Sure enough, tough as the old girl thinks she is, she can hardly defend herself against Boris & Natasha (if you've forgotten, they're Rottweillers). As Kaybe, Sun, and Chryse are flown into the room by the monkees they burst into hysterics to see the Wicked Witch of the East backed into a corner and catching Holy Hezmana from Honey.
"Call them off! Call them off!" The witch shrieks with fear.
"Well it's your own darn fault." Kaybe laughs as Chryse and Sun pick up the Rotties leashes and she picks up Honey to sooth the poor pup. "Teach you to pick on poor defenseless pups."
"Watch your tongue, girl, I can still get my revenge on you!"
"Yeah, and you'd better watch yourself too, Creepella. I know your secret. Water. I'll melt you down quicker than you can throw that broom around to cast a spell."
"Why don't we just do it anyway?" asks Chryse with an evil twinkle in her eye.
"It won't do that much good." Kaybe sighs. She really wants to go at it with the witch for snurching Honey but she knows the theory behind these lands. "She'll just come back. She has to. She has to be here for Dorothy."
"And anyway," SunAeryn says pointing to their feet "We're all wearing the Ruby Slippers, she Knows she can't do anything to us. So, let's go!"
The girls and the dogs start walking for the door when the witch speaks up.
"Watch your backs, little ones, I'll have those shoes yet. With Three pair of Ruby Slippers I Will Reign Supreme Here!"
Kaybe, Chryse, and SunAeryn roll their eyes at each other and laugh. With a parting bark and growl from Boris & Natasha, and of course a yap from Honey, the group walk out of the room and out of the castle into the sunshine.
ArtistStudio -- Stepping off the train into a silent
snow-covered wilderness, Kara and Artist get used to having to read each other's words. Even the dogs barking is silent - until captions appear... "Woof Woof!" "Bark!" "Hoowwwwl!"
The pullman and cabose are the only cars on the tracks. As Artist and the dogs are scouting up the tracks for any sign of the rest of the train, a man in black on a horse bursts from the trees. He twirls his handlebar moustaches. A caption appears... "There you are my fair Velveta!" He leans and scoops a startled Kara onto the horse, draping her uncomfortably across the pommel of his saddle and rides hell bent for leather away.
Artist and the dogs give chase, but cannot keep up. However the horse is easy to track through the snow - until in a clearing they come across a confulence of horse prints - several trails crossing each other. The dogs are confused - and Artist is cold in his full dress Mountie uniform. The dogs shiver in the cold - puffs of steam coming from their muzzles.
***********************************************************
Smedly Neferious tries again and again to force a kiss onto an unwilling Kara, showering her with lovely gold jewelry (well, since everything is in black and white - it's impossible to tell if it's gold.) Captions appear:
"Marry me, my fair Velveta."
"I'm not cheese and I won't marry some cheesy villain."
"But you're so lovely - and you have such HUGE... tracts of land..."
***********************************************************
Artist and the dogs warm themselves by a campfire. Artist twists bits of the fire, drawing them into him, chanting a spell. Basic sorcery - newly available to Artist - he is summoning a familiar. Nearby a wolf hears the call, rising arthritically from the snow and wandering to the fire - her mind in contact with the illusionist's.
Artist had assumed the spell would link him to one of the dogs - he had not expected to reach the mind of another animal. Together, he and the wolf select a name - Natasha.
As morning approaches, Artist sets out on the trail again - this time with Natasha's knowledge of the area. A hill provides a view of the river, the tracks and the sawmill. A black horse is teathered near the entrance - Smedley's horse...
KaraS -- ##Help! Help! Oh you Evil Beast!##
Kara's subtitles read.
"You frellin' %$#@&*%$@*%&!!!" Kara tried to yell.
##You Horrible Horrible man!## the subtitle read.
Kara sighed and tried to make herself more comfortable. Tied to a log, poised in front of a huge, sharp looking giant table saw, this was hard to do.
##If you agree to marry me I will release you.## Smedly Nefarious's subtitle said. ##If you reject me, you will die.##
Working at her bonds, Kara missed seeing the subtitle until Smedly tapped he on the shoulder and pointed it out.
"Frell off you drenheaded, monkeyfaced &*%$#@." Kara tried to say.
##I would never marry you.## her subtitle said. Kara rolled her eyes.
##Then die.## Smedly Nefarious sneered. Twirling his long black cape he pulled a lever and started the sawmill. The giant saw slowly started to spin, going faster and faster until it was a blur. The log on which Kara was tied began to inch toward the saw....
Cut to a shot of Artist and his four canine companions up on top of the hill. Artist is studying the mill below through his binoculars. Suddenly a subtitle appears below him.
##EEEEKKKKKK!!!!!!##
Artist didn't see the subtitle until the wolf pointed it out.
Artist said something to the wolf.
##I hear Velveta's scream! She must be in trouble!## Artist's caption read.
He looked a little startled at how his dialogue had been changed.
Artist and his dogs charged down the snowcovered hill toward the sawmill...
Back in the sawmill, Smedly Nefarius laughed and, twirling his cape with one hand and his long handlebar moustache with the other, darted out the door, jumped on his horse, and galloped away.
Franticly Kara worked at her bonds but Smedly was very good at tying knots. The saw made contact with the end of the log and sawdust began to fly.
"Where the frell is Artist?" Kara tried to say.
##Oh ArtistMountie, save me!## the subtitle said. Kara rolled her eyes again.
Will ArtistMountie get there in time? Will the lovely Velveta get sawed into two by fours? Will Smedly Nefarious inherit Velveta's title to the orphanage, evict the orphans and nuns, and open a brothel/saloon? Come back next weekend for the next exciting chapter!
Sixth Sense Dreamer -- Sit right back, and you’ll hear a tale
6th was rummaging through the old white boat on the shore nearby their own speedboat. She found a hammer, nails and other things that would be useful to fix the boat with--even some extra lumber.
*I can't believe this stuff was just lying around.* she thought.
*What?* Drum asked, looking up as she came back into view. He was sitting on the sand studying one of his books.
"I said, I can't believe all this stuff was just lying around! You'd think they'd have fixed their own boat by now!" 6th sat down by the hole in the speedboat, trying to figure out what she needed to do first.
Drum rolled his eyes. "Them? They couldn't figure out how to find their butt with a map! God, I hate this frelling show!" he muttered almost to himself. He had refused to go with Gilligan back to their little village, saying he was going to read up on boat-fixing spells. Mouse and Spyral had both gone with Gilligan. They had wanted to see the island.
6th hammered away for a while on the speedboat. She was feeling so tired lately. She sighed, wiping sweat off her forehead. "Aren't you going to help?"
Drum didn't look up from the book. "Nope. I didn't wreck it on this godforsaken island."
6th just sat there for a second, looking at the mage. "Well, there was the shark..."
"Yeah, which we could have outrun easily. It's only a big fish. What did you go and freak out for, anyway?"
"Yeah, a big hungry fish with lots of teeth. I hate frelling sharks!" 6th said, a little crossly.
"Still not a good reason to run us aground here!" Drum snapped. Those earrings in his pocket were ringing again. He shifted his weight, sitting on them. He heard something snap and the ringing quit. He smiled to himself.
"I wish Artist were here." 6th said, as if she knew what he had just done. Drum looked at her sharply, but 6th wasn't even looking at him. She was just sitting, holding the hammer and staring at the hole in the boat. That irked Drum even more.
"Why, so he could illusion the hole fixed? What could he possibly do that would fix the situation?" Drum had to force himself not to yell.
"Well, he'd HELP!" 6th snapped at him. She glared at Drum for a second, then went back to hammering.
Drum paused. He hadn't meant to make her mad. He was just not happy being on Gilligan's island with idiot-boy Gilligan and his friends. He'd never liked that show. And that constant ringing, and 6th's strange behavior...she hadn't been very interested in...well, she wasn't acting like she had been on the longboat.
"Ok, I'll help." Drum snapped the book closed. He hadn't meant to slam it shut.
6th didn't even look at him. "Just forget it. I can do it myself."
"But..."
6th looked at Drum. He was surprised at how tired she looked. The circles under her eyes had darkened, and she looked....well, forlorn was the only word he could think of.
"You just sit down and read. Let me finish and we can get out of here, ok?" she said, her voice strained and tense.
"How long has it been since you slept?" Drum asked, "Come on, I'll help."
"I don't remember and no you won't." 6th snapped.
"But..." he started, but 6th looked at him with such aggression that he sat back down.
"Fine, Wonderwoman, do it yourself then!" Drum opened his book back up, mollified. He didn't mean to make her mad, that was the last thing he had wanted to do. But she was being so cold! *What the hezmana is wrong with her?* he thought. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, as she went back to fixing the hole in the boat, practically slamming the boards on, wailing away with the hammer. She looked pale, her lips in a thin line, but Drum stayed where he was. He'd never seen her mad, certainly not at him. He didn't know what to do. So he did nothing.
*******************************
Mouse was peering over the Professor's shoulder, examining the odd array of scientific equipment he had made out of coconut shells.
"I can't believe you made all this!" She said. The professor laughed.
"Well, I had to have some kind of equipment! We'd never have survived this long if I hadn't." he said.
Mouse sighed, "Well, as I was saying, I don't think we can take you guys off the island. Our boat just isn't big enough. But we can send back help."
"That would be great." the professor said, smiling. "Now, take a look at this here..." Mouse followed him over to another table, grinning. She just loved being here in this show!
*****************************
Spyral laid back in the bamboo lawn chair, as Mary Anne fanned him with a giant palm leaf.
"It's so nice to have another guy around!" she said smiling prettily.
Spyral sighed happily. He watched Ginger strut back from her hut.
"Another Pina Colada?" she said breathily, handing him a large coconut cup.
"Yeah, thanks!" he said, tossing his empty cup into the small pile of them growing by his chair, and taking the full one from her hands.
*This is the life!* he thought, as Ginger started massageing his back.
**************************************
Spyral was almost asleep when Drum walked up. He looked up, squinting into the sun setting over Drum's shoulder.
"Boat's fixed." Drum said. Spyral noticed that Drum didn't look too happy.
"Already?" Spyral said, sitting up.
"Yep. 6th wants to head out. She..." Drum didn't finish, he just looked at Ginger, who was vamping at them both. Drum sighed and shrugged, then reached into his pocket and handed Ginger the earrings. "Here." was all he said.
As Ginger and Mary Anne oooed and aaaaed over the earrings, Spyral pulled on Drum's arm. "Aren't those 6th's?"
"Yeah." Drum said, softly, as they walked towards the Professor's hut. "I broke them."
"Was 6th mad? Is that what's eating at you?" Spyral asked.
"She doesn't know." Drum sighed, "I already made her mad by being a jerk about the boat. It would be impossible to get her to quit being mad if she knew I broke them."
"Well, it was an accident, right?" Spyral asked. Drum didn't say anything.
"You broke them on purpose?" Spyral grabbed Drum's arm.
"They kept ringing all the frelling time. I got sick of it." Drum said.
"Are you nuts? We could have called for help on those!" Spyral said. Drum swallowed. Why hadn't he thought of that?
"Well, it doesn't matter. The boat's fixed, so we can get out of here and go back to the Longboat. Everyone's probably waiting for us by now." Drum said.
"Yeah, I guess." SPyral shrugged.
*********************************
It was dark by the time they all got back to the boat. Drum was surprised to find it floating in the shallows of the lagoon. 6th was sitting in the boat, he legs propped up on the steering wheel, sound asleep.
"Hey, 6th!" Drum yelled. She sat up, rubbing her eyes.
"What?" she yelled back.
"Bring the boat up to shore, so we can get in without getting wet!" Drum called to her.
6th was silent for a second, "What, you want me to drive? So I can wreck the boat again and you can rub my face in it? Frell no! I waded out here, you can do the same!" She snapped.
Drum's mouth hung ajar. He looked at Mouse and Spyral, who were looking at him with puzzled expressions.
"What's up with her?" Mouse asked quietly.
"She's mad at me." Drum sighed.
"Why?" Mouse asked. Drum just shook his head and shrugged. He didn't want to admit he'd been rude to her. He didn't want her mad at him at all. He didn't mean to take his irritation at Artist and being stuck on Gilligan's island out on her! Now how was he going to apologize?
They started wading out to the boat. The water wasn't that deep, at least.
Lurkingghost
Arctic, Jila, Viridian, and 'Ghost wandered through the woods until they came upon a castle.
"I know this is Transylvania," Viridian said, "but it's just too wet out here. Let's go see if anybody's home. If not, we can maybe get out of the storm for a while."
The door of the castle opened suddenly with the typical movie creak. <creeeeek>
"I thought I heard visitors to my lonely dwelling," a tall, pale man announced, "enter freely and of your own will. I grow lonely on these stormy nights."
'Ghost immeadiately rushed forward, yelling "Uncle Vlad, uncle Vlad!" and gave him a hug.
"Uncle Vlad, these are my friends, Jila, Viridian, and Arctic. Please don't suck their blood, ok?"
ArtistStudio -- The door to the sawmill bursts open
and Artist and a small herd of Mounties crash into the room, the Mounties pointing carbines at Smedley. The black clothed villain drops his handgun - then suddenly throws a lever which sets the mill machinery into motion - sending the fair Velveta - er - Kara and the log she is chained to hurtling toward the saw.
"You have me, Mountie, but you'll never have her!" the caption reads. "You cannot reach her in time to save her!"
Artist spouts obscenities - but his caption reads: "Oh you dastardly, dastardly villain!"
In the heat of the moment, Artist's spell fails - the Mounties vanish. Artist has only one skill that has ever been useful in hand-to-hand combat - he can run like the wind. He puts that skill to good use, racing to Kara's side. Before Smedly can retrieve his revolver he is buried under three dogs and a wolf.
The wolf prevents Killer from living up to his name.
One of the first skills any illusionist learns is to escape and Artist quickly releases Kara from her chains, pulling her off the log just before it is shredded into 2 X 4's.
Artist retrieves Smedley's revolver and hands it to Kara before calling the dogs off. Kara lands a solid blow to the villain's jaw as he is standing up - and he falls unconscious to the floor.
Kara and Artist sit on the stern of a barge taking lumber down river. As their lips come together for a passionate kiss, a curtain falls chastely across the screen and the caption reads: "The End"
ArtistStudio -- The workmen return to the longboat with
the last of the new lumber from Silent Movie Land - the best lumber comes from Smedley Nefarious's sawmill.
One workman looks at another and says, "Is it my imagination or does the boat appear a little unstable to you?"
"Probably just a stray current," his workmate replies. They set about making the final repairs to the longboat.
Raven-Kat -- The return...
...The three adventurers stumbbled out of the jungle, tired, dirty, and worn.
"Okay, so it was a bad idea!" Rae snaps at IQ. "I got that part. Can't we just drop it?"
"Hey, I'm not the one who-"
"Guys." Ragnar cuts in. "Please?"
"Right, sorry." Rae nods and pulls the others into a little huddle. "Look, guys, what happened in there... I don't think we should tell the others."
"You mean lie to them?" IQ asks.
"I mean keep our frelling mouths shut. They aren't likely to ask, and even if they do, I think they'll respect our wishes far enough not to push."
"It could work..." Ragnar ponders the matter. "Yeah, it could work."
"COULD being the operative word." IQ mutters.
"Yeah," Rae nods. "Things could go wrong. But I think it's worth the risk. Am I wrong, IQ? Tell me I'm wrong." Rae's challenge sounds almost pleading in tone.
"You're not wrong." IQ sighs. "So we keep our mouths shut. Are we all agreed?"
"Yeah, I think so." Bill nods. "Rae?"
"As far as I'm concerned, it never happened." Rae mutters, not looking at him.
"Good." Ragnar nods. "Okay, then, I guess it's agreed."
"What about Jeff and Pedro?"
Ragnar raised an eyebrow and pursed him lips, shaking his head slightly. "They'll keep quiet."
"Are you sure?" Rae wanted to know.
"Well after what happened...."
"NOTHING happened Rag! Remember?" Rae intensely reminded him.
"Yeah...gotcha. Anyway I think they'll be too afraid to say anything."
IQ mused...."Lets hope so...."
Gloomy silence prevails for several minutes. Rae stares fixedly into the jungle, avoiding eye-contact with the others.
Finally she asks "Okay, so where's the port?"
Ragnar looks around. "There." He points towards the dock where the long-boat is moored. Workmen are milling around it, trying to figure out why they can't get aboard. Rae winces as she remembers the protective enchantments she
placed upon it.
"Even now she is one fine-looking lady." Ragnar says, eying the boat.
"And I'm not?" Rae socks him gently on the shoulder, but her tone remains subdued.
"Funny, I don't remember being able to see jungle from the long-boat..." IQ muses.
"Let's go, gentlemen!" Rae says. "The others must be wondering what happened to us." The three make it back to the boat in less than five minutes. "Dibs on the shower." Rae announces and vanishes under-deck for several hours.
KaraS -- Kara and Artist sneaked off the lumber....
barge while the workmen were busy elsewhere. The sun was just rising.
"Where are we?" Kara asked.
"We seem to be in a shipyard." Artist replied. "And look. There's the longboat."
Kara looked terrible. She was filthy and she had been in the same clothes for days. (Even though the clothes had LOOKED different in the different areas, they had still been the same.) She smelled kind of ripe and her hair was oily, stringy and full of mud. Artist wasn't much better off. True, with his illusion he SEEMED to be in a spotless and reciently pressed white tux, but both he and Kara knew different. In reality he was just as girmy as she was.
"I can't wait to hit the shower." Kara sighed. "I can't wait to be clean again."
"How about I join you in that shower?" Artist asked.
"Fine with me." Kara said. "Race ya."
With that they both took off for the longboat and arrived there about the same time that Ragnar, Rae and IQ did.
"What an adventure we had!" Kara told them. "Say, where's Sweetiepie...?"
JilaCosa -- “Uncle Vlad???”
Jila whispers to artic and Viridian. She tries not to be conspicious but tries taking a Real Good look at *Uncle Vlad*.
"Uncle Vlad?" Jila whispers again. "Count Vladimir Dracule? Vlad the Impaler??" Jila is starting to sound a little bit stressed now. "Do you know who this guy is???"
"Shh, shh." artic hisses at Jila. "Geez, we don't need you going into hysterics now."
"Hey guys." Ghost floats back over to her friends by the door with her Uncle close behind her. "I'd really like you to meet my Uncle Vlad."
Uncle Vlad takes each of the Ladies hands and kisses it gently. Jila's hand shakes from nervousness and Vlad covers it with his other hand. He smiles at the ladies and wrapping Jila's hand around his arm escorts them to the dining room. A feast awaits them as they seat themselves at the dining table. Each of the ladies squirm in their chair trying to get comfortable, especially artic.
*Grrrr, I hate dresses.* Artic wiggles a little more trying hard not to show her anger at the *stupid* bustle that sticks off the back of her dress. She hadn't noticed it when it appeared on her but it was bound to make her life difficult now.
Jila knows that The Count will not join them for the meal. During the meal Ghost and her Uncle talk of family, America, his castle, Ghost staying for awhile, and what brought her to the castle in the first place.
"My friends and I have come to find homes for another friend's dogs." Ghost tells her Uncle. At this the dogs outside start a howl that sends shivers up the spines of the three living beings in the room.
"Uh, Ghost?" Vi shudders and tries to speak. "As much as we have enjoyed your Uncle's hospitality, I really think we need to get back. I'm not sure how many more days we have, and you know Ragnar, if we aren't there when it's time to leave we'll probably get left behind."
"But you must stay the night." Uncle Vlad says with a smile. "The sun has gone down and it is not safe to travel these roads at night."
"I'm not sure....." artic starts to say then Ghost jumps in
"Of course we'll stay Uncle!" 'Ghost looks at the others as if to say <We can't turn down his offer, he'll be offended.>
So up the stairs they go to their rooms for the night.
"Stay in your rooms until dawn" Uncle Vlad tells them "This castle is old and the halls are not well lit. We don't want anything to happen to you in the middle of the night." And they are more than willing to do just as they are told.
"Goodnight."
"Pleasant dreams."
Jila watches Ghost and Uncle Vlad go back down the hall. Vlad doesn't seem to walk, he seems to almost float.
<SHUDDER>
Thor T-Rex -- Casa de McCoinneach
Thor hopped up the stairs behind Officer Bailey, Louie riding on his head. Sweetiepie was perched on Bailey's shoulder.
*How much further?* Thor asked, trying not to pant. They'd already climbed several flights.
"Not too much further, lad. Buck up, we're almost there." Bailey said.
They rounded a corner on the stairs, and headed down a hallway, stopping by a door. Bailey turned to Thor and Louie.
"This is it, lads. Let me just slip in a moment, and let the wife know I'm bringing...friends over. Wait here." He winked at Thor, then went inside, Sweetiepie still sitting on his shoulder.
*You sure this is ok?* Louie asked. Thor nodded.
*He's nice. He wouldn't hurt us.*
Louie's stomach growled.
*Hungry? Again?* Thor chuckled, as Louie grinned.
Bailey opened the door just then, waving Thor and Louie inside. Sweetiepie was nowhere to be seen. Thor felt Louie dig his little claws into the trenchcoat.
"Come on into the kitchen, and meet the wife." Bailey smiled. Thor followed him down the hall, as Louie clutched him tighter.
*Where's Sweetie? It's a trap, it's gotta be! They're going to eat us!*
*Louie, will you calm down! They're not going to eat us!*
*Then where's Sweetie?*
*I don't know, and would you...erk!...let go of my neck!* Thor shook himself, trying to dislodge the lizard, who had his neck in a death grip.
Thor entered the kitchen, where the air was filled with all kinds of delicious aromas. A petite strawberry blond was standing by the stove, stirring a large pot with one hand, and feeding Sweetiepie a cookie with the other.
"Doreen, these are the other lads I was tellin' you about." Bailey said. The pretty woman turned to Thor, and nodded her head to him.
"Sure'n I'm pleased to make your aquaintence." She said, her voice lilting over her accent. Thor swallowed, and felt his heart thudding in his chest.
*You're...sure...pretty...* he said lamely. He was glad his scales were red, because he was blushing. She was the loveliest human he'd ever seen, almost ethereal, angelic. *I...er... that is...* he tried, as Doreen smiled and giggled. Bailey was chuckling, and Sweetiepie was laughing uproariously. Louie nudged Thor. *Food?* the lizard was salivating over the smells of dinner.
*Is that all you think about?* Thor said, then to Bailey, *Uh...you must have told her what to expect. She's not screaming.*
"Nor climbing tables either." Doreen said, setting Sweetiepie down on the table next to a plate full of cookies, which Sweetie began to gobble. "I don'na frighten easily." She leaned down to Thor, "But you're not frightening." Thor drew in a slow deep breath. Ye gods!
Doreen smiled at him. Bailey shook his head, grinning. "How about dinner?" he asked, stretching.
Doreen gave him a kiss. "Sit on down then, and I'll serve up somethin for ya and the lads." They did. Well, Bailey did, and Thor scrambled up into another chair, while Sweetie stayed on the table, where Louie joined him.
Doreen brought out the food. And such food! Thor began to think he'd gone to Heaven. He couldn't pronounce the names of the dishes, but they were some of the most wonderful things he'd ever eaten. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Louie and Sweetie did the same.
Finally, Bailey sat back and lit a pipe. Doreen finished clearing the table and sat down beside him. "Now lad." Bailey said, "Why don't ya tell us about your adventures then? How you came to be here looking for your cat."
"That's a LONG story." Sweetiepie snorted, "And it'll be twice as long if he tells it!"
"It will not!" Thor said.
"Ok, three times as long then." Sweetie laughed.
Thor grumbled, "You tell it then, since your'e so smart!"
"Yes I am." Sweetie chuckled, ignoring Thor's irritated glance. "And I will...It all started when Thor's 'mistress', 6th, got this bright idea to find some homes for her dogs, which were overrunning where we all lived, and generally causing havoc..."
Sweetiepie was an excellent storyteller. The cop and his wife listened, enthralled, as Sweetie unfolded the tale, Thor breaking in with added tidbits every so often. Sweetiepie talked for over an hour.
"...and so, now we're here, and looking for the cat." Sweetie finished. Thor was resting his chin on the table. Louie was curled up beside him, sound asleep.
Bailey and Doreen got up. "Now you lads don't be worryin' none, we'll find your kitten friend first thing tomorrow. Now, ya can sleep on the couch tonight. There's plenty o' blankets and pillows for ye should ya be needin' them." Doreen scooped Louie up in her hands, so gently that he didn't even wake up. Thor trotted behind her to the living room, Sweetie flying behind.
Doreen got them settled, and said goodnight, turning out the lights. Thor curled up under the blankets, sighing. Louie was on his back, snoring, his back legs kicking every so often. Sweetie perched on the back of the couch. Thor fell asleep, to dream of T-rex heaven, where irish angels served him fabulous foods and smiled so pretty.
****************************************
Early the next morning, Bailey woke them up to head out to the pound.
"It's still early, but the pound opens up soon." Bailey told them.
*I just hope kitten's ok.* Louie said to Thor.
"I just hope the cat's there, so we can go back to the boat!" Sweetie grumbled. He didn't like getting up this early.
Doreen met them at the door. She kissed her husband, then turned to Thor, Louie and Sweetie.
"It was a pleasure meeting the likes of you three." she said. "Come back and visit us any time you like. Maybe next time the little ones will be awake."
"I'd love to!" Thor said enthusiastically.
"I'll bet you would!" Sweetie laughed. Thor blushed as Bailey and Doreen laughed. Doreen leaned down and kissed Thor on the tip of his nose. He flicked his tongue out before he could stop himself, licking her cheek. He blushed more. She laughed, and patted his head, then kissed both Louie and Sweetie on their heads as well.
"Be safe on your journey." She told them, and Bailey, after hugging her goodbye, went downstairs with the three animal adventurers.
They climbed into the sidecar, as Bailey put his helment on.
"We'll have your kitty back in no time!" he said, and started up the bike. Sweetiepie resumed his perch, letting the wind flow over him as Bailey drove to the pound.
They pulled up to the pound after a short while. As Bailey shut off the engine, they all heard a loud commotion coming from inside the pound. Dogs and cats barking and yowling were mixed in with the yelling of several people.
"I wonder what's going on?" Sweetiepie said...
Mouse2000 -- After wading out to the boat,
Mouse, Drum, and Spyral get themselves comfy and Spyral decides he wants to drive. 6th sits next to him and co-pilots, still visibly annoyed at Drum, while Drum and Mouse try to figure out where they are.
"According to the map the Professor gave me, all these small 'oceans' intersect and basically all we have to do is go south and we'll hit the docks. But then again, maybe he's wrong..." Mouse trails off, thinking about the castaways and how long it's been since they've been at the docks. Drum agrees and Spyral checks the built-in compass and heads them south.
They zipped along at a steady clip, and Mouse even enjoyed the trip so much she forgot to get seasick. After about an hour, they saw the lights of the dock. They pulled up next to the longboat, and were just climbing on board when Drum spotted "Diamondback Drum" and his cronies trying to get on board with Ragnar and IQ holding them off.
"There he is! That guy's impersonating me, and I DON'T LIKE IT! He's givin' me a bad name! And his girl, well, she's not good-looking enough to even be SEEN with me!" the mobster yelled, as he tried to muscle past Ragnar. Thank God Ragnar was used to dealing with muscle, because he held back the gangster AND his cronies with little effort.
"I can see why you'd be miffed at the dame," Ragnar said smoothly, just to catch 6th's shocked look, "she can be a real handful. But the mage? How could he possible impersonate you!" Rag gave the gangster the once-over and implied that Drum in no way resembled him.
"Well, he doesn't resemble me as much as he took my name!" Diamondback said with a huff, and his henchmen muttered in agreement.
"And you're worried that this little guy" Rag saw Drum bristle as Ragnar emphasized *little*, but kept on talking "is going to smear YOUR name? Aren't you the best-known gangster here?" Ragnar added, appealing to the gangster's vanity.
"OF course! Everyone knows Diamondback!" one of the henchmen confirmed.
"Well, then, I guess anyone who thinks he's *you* is a patsy." IQ added, playing the game to perfection.
"Yeah! That's it! A patsy..." Diamondback reiterated and headed back down the gangplank. "No one would believe that little guy" Mouse and Spyral hold Drum back "is me. What a joke!" The gangster and his cronies get into their car and take off, muttering and laughing about how silly it would be for the real Diamondback Drum to be mistaken for this guy.
When the car was out of sight, Mouse and Spyral let Drum go, who was irritated, to say the least, but aware enough that Ragnar just talked them out of what could be a relatively nasty encounter. 6th also was a bit insulted about what both the gangster and Ragnar said. She decided to just forget the whole incident and wanted to get the frell out of this land. She bumped into Drum literally as they both turned to head down under and mentally said *Sorry...* to which Drum replied, *No problem. You first. Oh, and sorry about that stuff on the island...*
*No problem* thought 6th *let's just put it all behind us and go from here. Deal?*
*Deal.* Drum replied and headed to the galley instead where he met Mouse and Spyral good-naturedly arguing over the proper dressing to put on the salads. "I'm sorry, but that's disgusting!" Spyral said, when Mouse suggested a good Bleu Cheese dressing. "HOW could you eat that stuff! It's MOLDY!" "Duh..." Mouse replied, "but it's good, and penicillin is a mold product, and it saves lives!!" Rae wandered in and put her two cents in and soon a rousing, but fun-filled debate was brewing in the galley.
Raven-Kat -- The debate in the galley
escallated quickly, in a good-natured way.
"The Ancient Egyptians," Rae shouted, jumping onto the table, and trying very hard not to laugh. Her foot narrowly missed Mouse's salad, and Mouse quickly rescued it as Rae continued. "Ancient Egyptain doctors used to feed their patients moldy bread all the frelling time! I mean... Think about it!"
"Whatever." Spyral muttered. "Still didn't know what it did."
"Sure did, it made sick people well." Rae grinned sweetly at him as she climbed down off the table. "Gee, that was fun, but I'm off now."
"Where are you going?" Mouse asked, returning her plate to the table.
"Going to go visit Ragnar and see when we can take off."
"Let us know." Mouse called after her.
"Will do." Rae wandered around the boat until she found Ragnar, in the map-room making some additions. "Hey."
"Rae." Ragnar said looking up. "Hi."
They stared at each other in silence for a while. "Do you have any of that buttered rum stuff of yours?" Rae asked finally.
"Yeah, you want some?"
Rae nodded emphatically. "Share a glass with me?"
"Love to." Ragnar made them each a glass. "That all you came by for?"
"No." Rae shook her head. "Who's still missing?"
"Ghost's group."
Rae sighed. "Drenn. You don't think she went and did something like bringing them into Translyvania?"
"Sure hope not. Sweetie, Thor and Louie are AWOL as well."
"We have GOT to stop spliting up." Rae stared down at her glass. "Wait until tommorrow and send out search teams?"
"I'm not sure it's wise to split up again."
"Drenn." Rae drains her cup, pours herself another and stalks down to the engine room.
Ragnar follows and finds her bent over a pile of electronics, the likes of which he has never seen before. "What you doing?"
"Uh, trying for a workable comm system. It's not the spliting up that's a problem, it's the severed lines of communication."
Ragnar kneels down for a better look. "PK tech?"
"Yeah." Rae stares up at him sheepishly. "I've been kind of using your boat to store some stuff. Hope you don't mind."
"I know." Ragnar grins at her. "You think I didn't notice it all?"
Rae bows her head then looks up with a grin. "Says a lot about my camoflauge skills, I guess. I was trying to hide it."
Ragnar grins right back at her. "I know. So, can I help?"
Rae blinks in surprise. "Right. Comm tech 101..."
and so Rae began explaining the fundamentals of PeaceKeeper technology to Ragnar over buttered rum in the ship's engine room.
RagnarRB -- Sounds to be a bit of a tiff
"...going on in there laddies. Ye be waiting here while's I go check it out. The missus took a kindly likin' to ya's and left me clear instructions to see to ya. Bless her sainted heart." Officer McCoinneach stressed as he adjusted his finely pressed uniform and tugged his hat lower on his brow.
*Officer perhaps we can help. We're really good at this sort of thing and...*
Thor never got to finish his thought. The door to the pound sprang open and the cacophany of noise and melee spilled out onto the grounds. Dogs and cats were running everywhere, pound keepers in hot persuit or struggling with those they caught.
"There's the little bugger!" Sweetiepie squawked.
"Lordy be! Looks like they're all on the loose!" McCoinneach commented needlessly. Sweetie landed on his shoulders.
"Arrest that kitten!"
"Which one me boyo?" He replied as the tide of mayhem swerved closer.
*The little white one with...what's that she's got stuck on her tail?"
"Aye see the one. I'll be handling things now."
Kitten was having a ball. She was tired, sore, and oh so mad that she hadn't been able to find Mr. Duckie inside but this was more fun than she'd had all week!
The crunch was delicious! She had been so engrossed in its flavor she had nearly ignored Elvis and Trixie a whole two minutes before they got her attention. She felt kind of bad that she hadn't saved them any crunch but she knew artic would let her have some more when they got back to the boat. They could have some then!
"The cage kitten, open the cage." Elvis had encouraged, Trixie egging her on as well.
It had been a little tricky, what with her tail all wrapped up and throwing off her natural balance, but she had mustered a magical kitten leap and managed to cling to the cage latch long enough for her weight to open it. She'd thought that was kind of fun to! slowly sliding down while saying hi to Elvis.
She'd almost had it open when the first of the people had arrived. Ooopps....The man had grabbed her by the scruff of the neck when Elvis made a daring charge at the gate and sprung it open! Kitten may have been in a cage by herself but Elvis was not! Dogs boiled out into the mile!
While Elvis and the other kept the people busy kitten made her way around opening cages...well most cages. When she came to the alleycats cage she stuck her tongue out and did a little petulent dance. That's what they get for beating her up stealing her crunch!
She had struggled with the doorknob for a while but had finally gotten it to spin. That nearly dumped her on her little head!
Ah fresh air....She got right down to business.
"Mr. Duckie! Mr. Duckie where are you?!" she meowed across the grounds. He couldn't have gotten far...She began looking under things. peering into a flowerpot, poking her nose into a box of donations, even looking in the mailbox...
"Now if I was Mr. Duckie..."she mused..."Where would I hide?"
A big shoe landing in front of her.
"That's far enough wee little kitten." a brogue accent sounded down at her. "Ye've caused enough trouble this morning. Stop where ye are in the name of the Lawr!"
Kitten skidded to a halt, looking up at the burly blue uniform. He was almost a big as Ragnar. She noticed the feathers in his hat...no not feathers....Sweetiepie!
"Cuff her Officer before she can make a break for it!"
Thor and Louie were moving to block her.
The dog catchers net descended!" Gottcha ya little trouble maker! It'll be the gas chamber for you for sure!" The man scooped kitten up in his net and nodded at the officer. "Thanks officer. I wouldn't have caught her again if you hadn't distracted her."
Kitten was crying away. Where was Elvis?!
"Now just a minute there me bucko. That wee kitten is in my custody. Ye just be handing her over now like a good public servant." He crossed his arms and adopted a stern visage. Thor and Louie were wise enough to pause.
The dog catcher looked confused. "Huh?"
"The kitten me man, that there scrawny one in the net. I was just arresting her. She be in my custody and I'll be a takin' her off yer hands now. Hand her over." Stated very infactically.
He was still confused...."But that's not..."
"Now laddie..."McCoinneach started speaking, a finger now poking the unfortunate soul in his chest. "I be a duely appointed respresentative of the law here, now don't ye be telling me what the letter of it be. Ifins I was you I'd be handing over the kitten before I decide you just might be quilty of obstructing justice!" That finger was tapping harder.
Gulp! "uh okay..." He reached into his net and fished kitten out. Officer McCoinneach took her from him. Kitten for her part wasn't sure what to make of all this but she stuck her tongue out at the dog catcher anyway.
"Now be getting about yer job laddie before these loose beast be causing a ruskus all over the neighbor hood."
"Yes sir!" The man quipped, "Right away!"
Officer McCoinneach watched him squrry off. He held up his prize. "St. Bridgett if you aren't a scruffy one yourself little kitten."
She batted her eyes and meowed. What to do? what to do?
*Don't let her fool ya Officer Baily. You better cuff her before she does something.* Thor came up to the officers side. He was tired of chasing kitten and didn't want to take any chances
He pursed his lips and straightened. "Right ya be lad, right ye be. Hold still little one." Naturally kitten was too tiny for regular handcuffs but that didn't apply to the small pair of thumb cufs he had brought with him.
The kitten was caught at last.
"Now can we get back to the boat before they miss us?" Louie asked.
But where were Elvis and Trixie?
Kaybe0 -- Holding Honey tightly in her arms
and looking at Chryse and Sun with a grin, Kaybe said "Well, we allready know how to get out of here. We just click our heels together chanting we want to go home. Ready?" "No!" Sun stopped her with a shout. "We don't know for sure where these slippers will take us." "And we sure don't want to end up in Kansas." said Chryse with a giggle. "We should just follow the path we came in on." "Okay, said Kay, but I'm not exactly sure which direction the monkeys flew us from, are you?" As they looked around in confusion, Chryse said "Wonder what's over that hill there." Following the direction she pointed in, Sun said "It sounds like people laughing and talking. It's as good a place to start as any." As they got to the top of the hill, they saw a small thicket, and through the trees, they saw lots of people eating on benches and blankets here and there. "Food" said all three girls in unison, grinning at each other. As they came to the other side of the thicket, and out of the trees, they looked down to see their clothes had magically changed again. This time they were wearing long sun dresses with hoop skirts, and very wide sun bonnets. Two nice looking red head young men, who looked identical, spotted them, and came to them immediately. "Come young ladies, don't stand there so shyly. We'll get you plates of food. What are you doing at the edge of the forest. Don't you know it isn't safe for young women such as yourselves to walk without escort? Sit here ladies, and we will be back in a jiffy with your plates. I think we can find some scraps for the dogs as well." The three Scoobs gladly took the plates of barbecue offered them, and the dogs gobbled down their scraps with relish. A young woman sitting in the midst of several young men, became quite irritated when she saw the attention the twins were giving the newcomers. Raising her voice to make sure she is heard, she announces, "Well, Fiddledee. I do declare! I do believe you Carlton twins have just lost your place beside me.." Looking flustered, the two young men excuse themselves hurriedly, and rush back to the spoiled young woman saying "Why Miss Scarlett, we were just being gentlemen. You wouldn't have it any other way, would you." "Oh my gosh, we are in Gone With the Wind", said Kay with her mouth gaping open. "Well, eat your food, and we will find our way out of here." said Sun between bites. "Now, what are you young women doing with such big dogs. Those are deffinately not ladies dogs, but gentlemens dogs." said a male voice behind them. Walking around into their line of vision, a tall dark and handsome man bowed to them, and said " Allow me to introduce myself. Rhett Butler at your service. I don't believe we've had the honor of meeting." Kay, Sun, and Chryse introduce themselves, and explain that they are looking for homes for the two larger dogs, "But, not the small one. She is mine." piped in Kay with a tighter hold on Honey's leash. Smiling, Rhett reached down to pet the dogs behind their ears. "I might enjoy having these two for companionship. In some of the traveling I do, they just might come serve as protection, as well." "But, we have to make sure with the owner of the dogs, that it is okay to leave them with you." said Chryse. "Oh, and where is the owner?" "Welllll, that's kind of a long story." said Sunny looking at the other two. There is no way he would believe them. "I have plenty of time on my hands. Please proceed with your story." said Rhett with a twinkle in his eyes. The three girls try to tell the story of what brought them here, as best as they knew how to not shock the pants off of him. But to their surprise, as they came to the end of their story, and mentioned Ragnar, Rhett grew very alert. "Ragnar, you say? And what are you three ladies doing in the association of Ragnar?" "He is a friend of ours." said Kay. "And we really need to get back to him as soon as possible. Do you think you could help us?" Standing up and bowing, Rhett smiled, and said, "I would be honored to escort three lovely ladies back to that old rascal, Ragnar. Finish eating, and my carriage will be ready in no time at all." As he turned and headed for the stables, Chryse said "I'm not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing that he knows Ragnar, but I am sure glad that he does." The three finish their food, and walk over to the carriage, to take the journey back to the boat. On the trip back, Rhett explains to them what is going on in the south, and the three have to keep biting their tongues in order not to upset history, and let him know about the war, and the outcome of it. Soon, they come to the docks, and see the longboat. After being helped down from the carriage, Rhett looks at them and says, "Now, ladies, to see Ragnar again at last." Smiling at him and thanking him for his help, they turn and go to the boat to get Ragnar, and find out if it would be okay to let him take the Rhotwilers.
Sweetiepie Parrot -- As Officer Bailey carried kitten back
toward his motorcycle she struggled to get away.
"Now there'll be none o' that miss." he said, looking down at her.
"Keep still kitten." Sweetiepie said. "You've led us a merry chase around town. We're going back to the longboat NOW."
<<But what about Elvis?>> Kitten mewed.
"Who?"
<<Elvis. He's my friend.>>
Suddenly, there was an awful howling as one of the pound attendants grabbed Elvis' collar.
<<That's him over there!>>
Sweetiepie sighed. "Officer Bailey, could you also take custody of that hound dog over there?"
"What? That huge lumbering one?" Officer Bailey asked startled.
"Yeah, the one with the waggly tail." Sweetiepie sighed.
So Officer Bailey convinced the pound employees to turn Elvis over to him too.
<<And what about Trixie?>> kitten asked.
*NO! We will not take any more animals.* Thor said.
<<They wouldn't fit in the motorcycle.>> Louie pointed out.
So Officer Bailey dumped kitten and Elvis in the sidecar. Thor, with Louie clinging to him jumped up behind Officer Bailey, and Sweetiepie flew over head. In this manner they returned to the longboat.
"What on Earth...?" Ragnar asked as this procession pulled up at the dock. "Officer, is there a problem?"
"No, and I'm just returning your wee boys to ya and their kitten too."
"And her dog." Sweetiepie said sourly. "I'm sorry Captain Ragnar but she just wouldn't leave him behind."
"That's ok." Ragnar sighed. "Bring him aboard. And as for you!" he said to the kitten, picking her up by the scruff of the neck. "You are grounded young lady."
Kitten stuck her little tounge out at him.
As they all went back aboard, a small yellow shape bounced up the gangplank behind them.
"I thought I saw a puddy tat." it kept repeating...