ScapeWars: The Phantom Menace

ScapeWars: The Phantom Menace

Before proceeding to read here, please be certain to have referenced the posts placed a long long time ago on a computer far far away... um... they are posts #8177 "Gathering the Troops," the posts #28-31 in Farscape: New Basement, post #8184 "At In2scifi's place," and post #8190 "To In2scifi:" before continuing with the Scooby Gang at this post. Why thank you.

Now for a pledge break.

Pledge now! You're pledge dollars are hard at work helping us to catch the Phantom. If you pledge 25% of your yearly income, you will receive this complimentary Phantom of Farscape #2 pencil--chewed on by the Phantom him/her/it/them/who/whom/idunno/whatevah self. If you pledge 35% of your yearly income, you will receive a complimentary monthly Phantom of Farscape pie with a different flavor each month. You and the family will just love this wonderful exploding pie. And if you pledge 50% of your yearly income, you will receive this complimentary Phantom of Farscape doll that you must pursue around your house and attempt to catch in the midst of a barage of pies.

We can only continue with your help. Operators are standing by!

SWORDandMUG -- So there you are!

Annisette opens the doors to the linen closet and finds SWORD tied up amongst the various linens with a SNOOPY Band-Aid over his mouth (he was undoubtedly hoping for a Spidey Band-Aid. ...that dastardly Phantom!). SWORD tries to talk but only muffled outburst can be heard.

"MLFAPFKMNALLAKP;APLAKJKALAJF;;A;A;;A!!!!!!!" SWORD says.

Anni reaches forward and grabs one corner of the Band-Aid. Seeing SWORD's mustache and goatee ensnared in the glue she hesitates, looks him seriously in the eyes, and says, "SWORD, get ready, and be certain, this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me..." YANK!!!!!

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" SWORD says.

"Big baby," TickTick says.

"You would think that ouch would do," says SunAeryn.

Ragnar leans forward and grabs SWORD by the collar and bodily pulls his bound form from the closet.

"So, Phantom, we have caught you at last...." he growls menancingly.

"I'm not the Phantom, you big lummox!" SWORD sputters. "He put me here!"

Everyone begins questioning SWORD.

"Where were you?" Ragnar asks.

TickTick jumps in with "How did you get in the closet?"

SunAeryn interjects with the question of "What did you do with my enchiladas?"

Leaped asks, "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?"

Trying to fend them off, SWORD cries, "I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me!"

"He's just a poor boy from a poor family," Annisette says.

Pointing at Ragnar, leaped interjects, "Spare him his life from this monstrosity."

Feeling helpless, SWORD tries to reason, "Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?"

"Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!" say Ragnar and SunAeryn.

"Let him go!" Annisette urges them.

SWORD pleads "Mama mia, let me go."

Then they all sing in chorus, "Dominar Rygel has a Phantom put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeee!"

TickTick jumps looks at them drolly. "I told you I'm NOT singing!"

Mrs. H. silently shakes her head. "Dear children, this is not the type of opera that will lure the Phantom into our trap. Now stop stalling. Go get clean up! Shooo!"

"...yes Nonna...." they say after their obvious scolding and head toward their respective rooms and showers.

"ow... ow... ow..." SWORD says at each step as Ragnar drags him up the stairs by his feet.

SunAeryn -- SunAeryn dreams....

SunAeryn, TickTick and Annisette were all sleeping soundly. Sun was in a deep sleep....and dreaming.(insert your favorite dreaming type music here) She was in In2's room and they were talking......

(Author's note....the dream sequence is loosely( ok mostly) based on a scene from my favorite musical "The Phantom of the Opera". I wish to make it know that I do not want to be sued...I'm making no money at this!)

SunAeryn:"Where in the Dominion have you been hiding? Really, who were you kissing? I only wish I knew your secret! Who is this new suitor!

In2scifi: drteeth, The GREAT KAHUNA, once spoke of an angel.....I use to dream he'd appear....Now as I Scape I can sense him.....And I know he's here.....*In2 is now in a trance* Here in this room he calls me softly...some where inside....hiding...Somehow I know he's always with us.....he the unseen Menace

SunAeryn: (a little scared) In2, you must have been dreaming....stories like drteeth's shouldn't come true(they might scare the little Scapers)..... In2, you're talking in gibberish and it's totally like you.....

In2scifi: Phantom of FarScape, menace and stalker! Grant to me your name!

SunAeryn(to self):Who is this Phantom? This....

Both: FS Freak! Hide no longer! Secret and stalking stranger....

In2scifi(darkly): He's with me even now.......

SunAeryn: Your hands are covered in pie......

In2scifi: All around me.....

SunAeryn: Your face in2scifi, it's blue, no green, no White!

In2scifi: It fightens me......

In2scifi screams......It awakens all the sleeping Scooby Scapers and the head in the general direction of it.......

SWORDandMUG -- Wait a minute... where were we?

Ragnar proceeds up the stairs to the showers dragging SWORD along. He finds the rhythm pleasant. The rhythm is caused by SWORD's head going "bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk" on the stairs as he drags him up the 12 flights. Nearing the top of the 12th flight, Ragnar pauses.

"SWORD, I just remembered that the showers are in the basement," Ragnar says.

"...huh??...." SWORD sputters.

"Actually," Ragnar chuckles, "You could probable use a good swim in the grotto to clean up. The water is much colder there."

Ragnar turns and heads back down the stairs with a bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk right behind him. On the 5th flight, he pauses again.

"SWORD," he asks with a surprisingly sober voice, "have you noticed variations in the continuation of our actions? We seem to have a contradiction paradox occurring. Do you have any idea what could be causing this?"

He continues walking as he waits for SWORD's reply.

Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk.

"well... the way... I see... it is... most... likely... god... all... mitey!... playing... with... that time... trans... positor... again..." SWORD stutters when his head is not colliding with a step. "...it wreaks... havoc... on time... streams... or so... I read... in pop... ular... science... last month..."

Ragnar pauses again.

"Was that the issue with the hot babe of a genetics engineer on the cover?"

He continues down the stairs again.

bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk.

"...no... stephen... hawkin.......... good... grief... Ragnar!... with friends... like you... who needs... hangovers?..."

"Well, if you are the Phantom, this is me getting some early licks in for what you did to my longboat, you Dutchman."

"...but... i'm... not..."

"And if you are not... well, what else do people expect to see happen to SWORD?"

"The grottos a bit away yet..."


	The Archives ScapeWars: The Phantom Menace SWORDandMUG Before proceeding to read here, please be certain to have referenced the posts placed a long long time ago on a computer far far away... um... they are posts #8177 "Gathering the Troops," the posts #28-31 in Farscape: New Basement, post #8184 "At In2scifi's place," and post #8190 "To In2scifi:" before continuing with the Scooby Gang at this post. Why thank you. Now for a pledge break. Pledge now! You're pledge dollars are hard at work helping us to catch the Phantom. If you pledge 25% of your yearly income, you will receive this complimentary Phantom of Farscape #2 pencil--chewed on by the Phantom him/her/it/them/who/whom/idunno/whatevah self. If you pledge 35% of your yearly income, you will receive a complimentary monthly Phantom of Farscape pie with a different flavor each month. You and the family will just love this wonderful exploding pie. And if you pledge 50% of your yearly income, you will receive this complimentary Phantom of Farscape doll that you must pursue around your house and attempt to catch in the midst of a barage of pies. We can only continue with your help. Operators are standing by! SWORDandMUG -- So there you are! Annisette opens the doors to the linen closet and finds SWORD tied up amongst the various linens with a SNOOPY Band-Aid over his mouth (he was undoubtedly hoping for a Spidey Band-Aid. ...that dastardly Phantom!). SWORD tries to talk but only muffled outburst can be heard. "MLFAPFKMNALLAKP;APLAKJKALAJF;;A;A;;A!!!!!!!" SWORD says. Anni reaches forward and grabs one corner of the Band-Aid. Seeing SWORD's mustache and goatee ensnared in the glue she hesitates, looks him seriously in the eyes, and says, "SWORD, get ready, and be certain, this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me..." YANK!!!!! "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" SWORD says. "Big baby," TickTick says. "You would think that ouch would do," says SunAeryn. Ragnar leans forward and grabs SWORD by the collar and bodily pulls his bound form from the closet. "So, Phantom, we have caught you at last...." he growls menancingly. "I'm not the Phantom, you big lummox!" SWORD sputters. "He put me here!" Everyone begins questioning SWORD. "Where were you?" Ragnar asks. TickTick jumps in with "How did you get in the closet?" SunAeryn interjects with the question of "What did you do with my enchiladas?" Leaped asks, "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?" Trying to fend them off, SWORD cries, "I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me!" "He's just a poor boy from a poor family," Annisette says. Pointing at Ragnar, leaped interjects, "Spare him his life from this monstrosity." Feeling helpless, SWORD tries to reason, "Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?" "Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!" say Ragnar and SunAeryn. "Let him go!" Annisette urges them. SWORD pleads "Mama mia, let me go." Then they all sing in chorus, "Dominar Rygel has a Phantom put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeee!" TickTick jumps looks at them drolly. "I told you I'm NOT singing!" Mrs. H. silently shakes her head. "Dear children, this is not the type of opera that will lure the Phantom into our trap. Now stop stalling. Go get clean up! Shooo!" "...yes Nonna...." they say after their obvious scolding and head toward their respective rooms and showers. "ow... ow... ow..." SWORD says at each step as Ragnar drags him up the stairs by his feet. :-{> SunAeryn -- SunAeryn dreams.... SunAeryn, TickTick and Annisette were all sleeping soundly. Sun was in a deep sleep....and dreaming.(insert your favorite dreaming type music here) She was in In2's room and they were talking...... (Author's note....the dream sequence is loosely( ok mostly) based on a scene from my favorite musical "The Phantom of the Opera". I wish to make it know that I do not want to be sued...I'm making no money at this!) SunAeryn:"Where in the Dominion have you been hiding? Really, who were you kissing? I only wish I knew your secret! Who is this new suitor! In2scifi: drteeth, The GREAT KAHUNA, once spoke of an angel.....I use to dream he'd appear....Now as I Scape I can sense him.....And I know he's here.....In2 is now in a trance Here in this room he calls me softly...some where inside....hiding...Somehow I know he's always with us.....he the unseen Menace SunAeryn: (a little scared) In2, you must have been dreaming....stories like drteeth's shouldn't come true(they might scare the little Scapers)..... In2, you're talking in gibberish and it's totally like you..... In2scifi: Phantom of FarScape, menace and stalker! Grant to me your name! SunAeryn(to self):Who is this Phantom? This.... Both: FS Freak! Hide no longer! Secret and stalking stranger.... In2scifi(darkly): He's with me even now....... SunAeryn: Your hands are covered in pie...... In2scifi: All around me..... SunAeryn: Your face in2scifi, it's blue, no green, no White! In2scifi: It fightens me...... In2scifi screams......It awakens all the sleeping Scooby Scapers and the head in the general direction of it....... SWORDandMUG -- Wait a minute... where were we? Ragnar proceeds up the stairs to the showers dragging SWORD along. He finds the rhythm pleasant. The rhythm is caused by SWORD's head going "bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk" on the stairs as he drags him up the 12 flights. Nearing the top of the 12th flight, Ragnar pauses. "SWORD, I just remembered that the showers are in the basement," Ragnar says. "...huh??...." SWORD sputters. "Actually," Ragnar chuckles, "You could probable use a good swim in the grotto to clean up. The water is much colder there." Ragnar turns and heads back down the stairs with a bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk right behind him. On the 5th flight, he pauses again. "SWORD," he asks with a surprisingly sober voice, "have you noticed variations in the continuation of our actions? We seem to have a contradiction paradox occurring. Do you have any idea what could be causing this?" He continues walking as he waits for SWORD's reply. Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. "well... the way... I see... it is... most... likely... god... all... mitey!... playing... with... that time... trans... positor... again..." SWORD stutters when his head is not colliding with a step. "...it wreaks... havoc... on time... streams... or so... I read... in pop... ular... science... last month..." Ragnar pauses again. "Was that the issue with the hot babe of a genetics engineer on the cover?" He continues down the stairs again. bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. "...no... stephen... hawkin.......... good... grief... Ragnar!... with friends... like you... who needs... hangovers?..." "Well, if you are the Phantom, this is me getting some early licks in for what you did to my longboat, you Dutchman." "...but... i'm... not..." "And if you are not... well, what else do people expect to see happen to SWORD?" bonk bonk bonk bonk "The grottos a bit away yet..." :-{>