Whoops!! misread the signs
Phantom_Hunter
Oh crapitall, got to get new glasses...cough, cough, wheeze, achoo. I thought it said Phantom_Hunter. Oh poo.
Wipes face with hanky. I was looking to come out of semi-retirement, thought I got myself a good case.
Having gone ahead of the others, Sword is the first to meet Phantom_Hunter.
A stunned SwordandMug blinks at the new arrival. Grey hair twisted up in a bun, pencils stuck behind the ear. Four pairs of glasses hang 'round her neck on brightly colored beaded chains. Pocket book clutched tightly in her hands. Phantom Hunter pulls up baggy tweed trousers and reaches into big pocket withdrawing little flask. Takes long pull.
Whoohee, boyo, aren't you missing some clothes, that towel there barely covers the manly particulars! Wink. Points at Swords bare legs and feet and plaid towel wrapped around his waist.
Well. Suddenly embarassed by the scrutiny, Sword tugs the cape about him. Someone,er, took my clothes. At a party.
Someone, boyo, wild bunch ,huh? Can't remember?
Well, er, I know who, er, but how, er-
Well, can't have you running around in that getup, look like some kind of Scottish Vampire Flasher.
They have those?
Could be.
Phantom Hunter rummages in her satchel. I've got just the thing-no, not those-too bright. Ah, here they are. Tosses something at Sword. Always carry an extra pair of Old Mr. H's trouser with me, rest his soul. Wipes nose with hanky.
Well go ahead, boyo, nothing there I haven't seen in my day.
Wink,Wink. Regards feet encased in sensible shoes.
Sword pulls on the bright green double knit golf pants which hang loosely about his waist and reach to just about his calves. Got a belt?
Phantom Hunter tosses a belt after some more rummaging. Well, I guess you were looking for the Phantom and got me, instead. Rumours reached all the way to Leisure Village and pulled me right off the shuffle board court.
Well we could use some help. Sword thinks of the gang's slow progress.
Boyo, you have made my day!
Sword regards his newly green clad form. I know you have made mine.
The Phantom Hunter.
SWORDandMUG -- Who?
"Godallmitey, Phantom Hunter! Who do you think this Phantom could be?" SWORD asks feeling something like Dorf.
:-{>
Four!!!
SWORDandMUG -- Ahem
Phantom Hunter pats SWORD on the head.
"That is all very nice and good, sonny, but there is no time for discussion right now."
"Why not? The others will be along any moment..."
The P.H. fixes SWORD with a very patient and parental gaze.
"Dearie, do you REALLY think that they are going to follow your directions and come over to this post? TickTick is leading the search over at post #8046 right now."
"Doh!"
:-{>
...he eyes up the ball... the crowd is hushed...
godallmitey -- Not me this time Sword. You got
a new time tracker. It could be somebody really dangerous this time. Keep that sword at the ready, under your coat like Duncan MacLeod. (Where you keep the mug, we don't really want to know.)
godallmiteyTale of the Scotsman’s Kilt
Sword and Mug's predicament concerning his stylish ethnic apparel (or loss thereof) reminds me of a tale of the Scotsman's kilt, which I heard once set to music a very long time ago. But it goes something like this.
Of course, everyone has heard of the mystery surrounding just what it is a Scotsman wears (or doesn't wear) neath his kilt. Well, one day a viril young Scotsman, wearing his favorite kilt with his clan's tartan, happened to imbibe a wee bit too much of the distilled spirits. Face it, he was plastered. He tottered and he stumbled as he walked along the highway and finally decided that what he really needed to do was to take a wee bit of a nap. So, he lays back on the grass, yawns, and falls into a deep slumber.
Along the same highway come strolling a pair of fine Scottish lassies, whereupon they spy our stouthearted lad dozing away. Now, the lassies were quite taken with the handsome visage of our reposing hero and also got to wondering just what is was that he carried proudly beneath his kilt. Since our brave lad was, for all intents and purposes, stone cold dead to the world and would not awaken should even the earth open up, the lassies decided to satisfy their curiosity and, lifting up the kilt, take a wee bit of a peek.
Now, what the lassies saw made a great and favorable impression upon them. And, rather than simply replacing the kilt back over the object of their admiration, they decided to pay it homage. And so, after each imparting a little kiss of affection, one of them removed a blue ribbon from her hair and tied it round the young Scot's proud heritage. Taking fond memories with them, the lassies proceeded on their way.
At length, our young lad wakes from his slumber, and, being typical of the male of his species, especially one who has recently comsumed a fair portion of hearty drink, he has an immediate urge to relieve himself. So, he betakes himself behind the nearest boxwood out on the heath and lifts his kilt. Not being blind, he quickly encounters the blue ribbon tied to his manhood. And, in the slowly lifting haze of awareness remarks, "I don't know where you've been or what you've done, laddy, but it sure looks to me like you've won first prize!"
SWORDandMUG -- Aye, laddie!
Godallmitey! Yes, I'm familiar with the story. A friend of mine sings it around the campfire regular (especially if we ply him with home brew). Here are the lyrics. I hear it on the radio occasionally (yes, on a rock station--they consider it a comedy cut). You can also find it at mp3.com and www.chivalry.com/cantaria, although I personally am not overwhelmed by the individual performances of this tune offered at either of these two sites--but it does give you an idea of the how the song proceeds.
"The Scotsman"
Oh a Scotsman tried and true left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd had more than his share
He stumbled round 'til he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off unto the grass to sleep beside a stream.
Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddle-aye-oh
Oh he stumbled off unto the grass to sleep beside a stream.
Well about that time two young and lovely ladies happened by
And one said to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"Oh see yon sleepy Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?"
"Well I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilts."
Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh
"Oh I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilts."
Well they snuck up to that sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be
And they lifted up his kilt a little bit so they might see
And there for them to behold, beneath that Scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Well they marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone."
"Well let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie sword the Scotsman's kilt beneath did show.
Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh
Around the bonnie sword the Scotsman's kilt beneath did show.
Well the Scotsman a little later, he awoke to nature's call
And as he lifted up his kilt, what he got and what he saw,
And in a strangled voice, he said, "I can't believe me eyes!"
"I don't know where ye been, me lad, but I see ye took first prize!"
Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh
Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh
"I don't know where ye been, me lad, but I see ye took first prize!"
:-{>