Where does he live (2)

"I think I passed out because I woke up under one of the bunks." artickat is talking as she is climbing the stairs from down below. "I feel much better now" atickat continues "but I really need to ask you all something."

Meanwhile, the evil Abdul Turkey had removed Sword's boots and had begun his patented torturing technique. "Talk you svine!" "HE HE HE,,,,AHH,,,AHH CHOOO, no,,,, he he AHH AH,,,,NO,,,, I can't,,,,CHOOOO he he he he.

"Stop this you, you, you FOREIGNER!" The despicable behavior of Abdul Turkey had sheered away all of Raven_Kat's patience. To hell with diplomacy. If I could get my hands on my pulse rifle",,,,,,"Vas is this??!! Pulse rifle????? Perhaps ve are torchering ze wrong human!!

Rae breaks out into a big grin as she recalls that she hasn't changed her socks since she got onto the long-boat(on the 1st). And she's wearing combat boots...

Then, ready for anything, she turns back to the turkey. "Since when do REAL turks talk with that cheap german accent! You're no TURK-ey! Throw you're worst at me!"

to have an effect on Ragnar. FREEEEEEE YOURSELF. FREEEEEEEEEEEEE YOURSELF. Anni's voice vibrated. Ragnar's wrists came to life, wrigling, pushing, pulling. FREEEEEE YOURSELF. The bones in his wrists actually started to swell, putting even more tension on the now loosened bonds.

In the corner of the room, red-faced from hanging upside down for too long (or was it sea-sickness), Leaped was indirectly being effected by Anni's voice. Looking steely-eyed, and apparently in a trance, Leaped managed to free one hand. The Turkmandos had completely missed the whip coiled and hanging from Leaped's side. (turkeys have terrible vision you know, he he) He slowly reached down, WRRRRR-CRACK, Ragnar was loose! The big viking was obviously very annoyed with his captors!!

Get me down!" Rae yells. "I may be a herbo, but I'm no pacifist! I'll take 'em all on!" Rae starts struggling again. "Artickat, Tick, someone, GET ME DOWN!!!"

thinks Mouse as she is observing the chaos arouns her. Ragnar, Raven, and leaped are in the process of getting loose, and Mouse is stuck here hanging by her heels? Is she to wait until the big strong guys get her loose? NO! she screams to herself. Using the ab muscles she tries to work on everyday, she levers herself up and unties her feet. She drops to the floor, then really drops to the floor as her legs give out. Crawling into the corner to avoid the fighting about to erupt, Mouse runs into the brownie stash. She's never tried one of these "types" of brownies, but she figures now is the time. She stuffs one in her mouth, and realizes "hey! these are GRRRRRREAATTTT!"

She feels the brownie power begin to flow through her veins (just like the gaunlet!!) She feels she can take on ALL the turkeys! All at once!! But she can't leave her friends hanging around, so she quickly works on freeing the rest of the group.

"Take that!" artickat yells as she kicks one of the turkeymando's in the giblets or whatever a turkey would call his nards(all the guys give a wince as they read this).

"You want some of this?" With one looking at his fallen comrade he turned tail and ran. "Damn bird! You're not even a turkey, you're a chicken!"

Ragner is still down below trying to help leaped become free when he realizes Kahvi is still hanging upside down and about ready to pass out.

But Kahvi can't look at him she starts to cry uncontrolably! "The map I lost the map. Oh Ragner it's my fault we are even here i am the one who boasted about knowing where santa is. Now we don't know where Tick is and Aurynsun is missing. What do we do? It is all my fault." Kahvi starts to cry again and Ragner puts his arms around her. "We can't worry about this now Kahvi. We have to get leaped out of here and help the others up above. Don't worry no one blames you for anything!! Come on lets go"

Ghost floats around invisible above the battle insueing below! Looking down from the clouds above wonders if the scapers and especialy her precious leaped are going to need her help! I will wait for leaped to call for Elvis or me for help.

While once again experiencing that horrendous tickle in his sinuses, SWORD suddenly finds a BROWNIE land in his mouth. Oh, how fortuitous he things before his lungs explode with another sneeze of extraordinary magnitude, jettisoning the coveted BROWNIE in direct trajectory at the beak of Abdul Turkey(burger). The foul fowl coughs and sputters as he is forced to hurriedly swallow BROWNIE. The impact bowls him over, and he recovers his turban.

"Vat are haf you done, human?" he says and replaces his turban. "I hab noow a strrenge feeling coming over me. Dees is most miraculous!"

Aside from the splint German/Arabic personality disorder, the turkey undergoes a definite change mental faculties, seemingly becoming more confident and in command.

Abdul turns from the spent and exhausted SWORD and begins to take command of his TKs as they battle with chaotic Scooby recruits. Meanwhile, Anni walks over to him and begins to untie the sneezy swashbuckler.

"I can't help ihh... iihhhh... aaahhH CHOOOO!!! ...feathers do this to me sometimes... <sniff>..." he says looking miserable. "My nose feels like it weighs 10 lbs!"

SWORD shakes his head, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a couple of quarters. He puts these into a slot in the side of the boat (where'd that come from? Hey, it's a silly story, okay?) and presses the "add player" button.

Raven thought to herself, "What is the BROWNIE doing to his Turkey DNA? And what would that do to the Scooby Gangs chances to defeat the TK attackers."

Ragner Leaped and Kahvi scurry up to the deck to help what seems to be only Raven and Arcticcat fighting the turkeys. Where did Annisette and Swords go? Jeez one little war and they turn tale and run!! Well maybe they can find Tick.

All of a sudden a bright light comes towards Ragner leaped and Kahvi. Oh my God its Ghost of Fan what is she doing here. Then it is obvious she is here to help leaped. She floats down to him and picks him up! His weak body falls limp to her grip. She flyies him to a safe place on the ship. She can't lose leaped the one who channels Elvis for her. "Oh leaped please be ok"

"You can see why I need that recipe!! I need better relatives ones not so inbred. So I think I will take this map and leave you all with these brain dead turkeys! I am on my way to Santa's I am certain I will get there before Tick (I have the map) and successfully end Christmas for all of you!! Of course that will give you plenty of time to debate on whether or not you will give me that recipe. If so Maybe I will spare Santa!"

The battled had dwindled into a brawl and further into a slug fest, neither side gaining any advantage. Seeing his plans begin to unravel, Dr. Gobbles announced that he was leaving and began to head for his submarine.

Anni appeared upon deck ring a loud bell, a dinner bell to be specific. In her very commanding voice, she called everyone’s attention. Every beings, Dr. Gobbles included, stopped to listen to her.

“It is past noon, and no one has eaten any little lunch. You people are tired and hungry and hallucinating. Now I am pointing my foot down. Everyone takes a one hour break and has something to eat and drink. I can’t have people keeling over from dehydration or low sugar! Now move it! Wash your hands, and get into line starting here.”

Everyone gets into line after properly cleaning themselves up. They see a much improved SWORD standing with white apron and chefs hat before a wok and making stir fry.

“Step up and get your order. You want vegetarian stir fry? Coming up! You want beef? No problem. Chicken? No, sorry, no chicken…” The Turkeys look eye the offender who apologizes and orders shrimp instead. “Yeah, shrimp I got!”

“…oh but it is so hard to find good help these days…” Dr. Gobbles says to Ragnar and Kavhi. “You interview and search for qualified fowls, but they are always demanding more PUNCH OF DOOM. Well, how do I meet with this? I tell, it is getting to the point where is just impossible to be a proper super villian these days. They are always crying about benefits, sick time, and vacation. Well, what about my overhead?…”

“We’se considderin go’in on strike, knowhattamean?” another Turkey says holding his coffee cup. “We’se got rights. And no big Toikey pushes around the Turkstas Local, knowhattamean? Kapish, kattabing!”

TickTick was sitting in the sleigh beside this plump, jolly elf, but he was wearing green, not red, and had a red beard, not a white while.

"Ooooh, top O deh mernin, to ye, lads and lassies! Did ye like me Santa laugh? I been practicin' since the big elf got 'imself sick on dat rubarb pie 50 yars back."

"Why I'm Charlie O'Connor... Leprechan on loan fer deh season. We elfs pull tegether! I'd caught me darlin' TickTick's psychic cry fer 'elp and came a flyin'. The big elf up narth is 'xpectin, 'er, ye know!"

Everyone looks up again from their lunch! Fu the leader of the turkeys has taken off from the top of his submarine and is headed for the sleigh! Fu has a contraption wrapped around him.

Following DR GOBBLES would come in a minute. First Ticker had to land the sleigh. Pigs can only fly so long before they need more brownies!

The gang all looked up at Ticker and the new Guy with the pigs. After clearing the feather's from their eyes, they landed on the Longboat with no problem.

"Umm Anni listen!" Ticker had just started to fill the gang in. "I just did an elfin spectrographic chemical assay on the feathers...they aren't TURKEY FEATHERS!"

"Are they GOOSE or Duck?" Sword asked sneezily? "The last time this happened, I realized that *ACHHOO* it was the down in the new pillows I had gotten *ACHOO* by mistake *ATCHOOOOOO*!!"

"I knew it! They are imposters!" Sun Aeryn had always thought no self-respecting warrior would break for LUNCH! "They act like, well....ACTORS!" And Sun glared at the Turkeymando stand-ins. Artickat helped glare in a very feline way.

Realizing the jig was up, AbdulTurkey pulled off his turban, beak and wattle. The others wriggled out of the wings and tail feathers. "Well, now you see why we had so many labor disputes, DR GOBBLES just would respect the SAG rules!" He said in unaccented English. And the EX-TURKEY MANDO-TK-WANNABES threw their costumes overboard.

"WE ARE ACTORS!" And the Turkey took turns taking Bows to the polite applause from each other. Labmouse and Ticker shouted "Oh Bravo!" Sunaeryn glared more.

"Unless...." Ragnar finished, "IT'S A DIVERSION! Gobbles isn't flying unescorted, I bet. There is something we weren't supposed to notice."

"Wait, that's not the sneezing...Dr GOBBLES is moving and making his SUB dive! THAT's what we have to follow!" Ragnar hurried into the cabin and examined the readouts at the Conn.

Leaped saw that Dr. Gobbles wasn't anywhere around anymore and leaped radioed Ghost of Elvis who was still flying above somewhere to begin tracking the sub with the Magnetic Anomaly Detector-MAD. "We will get him."

"Well, I think it is time we go STEALTH ourselves." Annisette knew that RAGNAR's Longboat had it's own secrets and began to push some controls in the bulkhead. "Everybody, get ready for a submarine hunt on the SEAWOLF!"

After a quick discussion amongst the SCOOBS...SunAeryn ushered all the Actor-Turkey-Mandoes into a launch to take them back to shore....no one wanted to pay their overtime requirements or give up a cabin as a dressing room, so they all decided to go home, no hard feelings.

"UH,OH!" ArticKat's eyes opened wide when the ship's exterior began to change. The sail folded and lowered, panel appeared and sealed the portholes, the deck rose, and the cabins lowered, a periscope came up.

Annisette studies the radar/sonar before calling out. "I have a fix on DR GOBBLER, he is at 12 O'clock, two clicks down and diving." (That how they talk?)

"Christmas Spirit?" Anni asks, her voice still a little weirding. The group shuddered from the effect. Anni smiled apologetically. "Sorry," she said, voice back to normal.

"Well..." Ticker said, "here we are, saving the world from a megalomaniacal turkey... all of us together... in a common purpose... working to make the world a better place. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?"

Weapon0 thought for a moment. "Isn't Christmas about Santa and the sleigh and stuff? Lumps of coal for the bad kids? Tinsel... lights... the Christmas story?"

Tick shrugged. "Ah, whatever." She patted the pigs, causing them to snort happily. Charlie the Christmas Leprauchan was feeding them leftover brownies.

Everyone looked at everyone else. The boat was a mess - feathers, brownie crumbs, rope pieces lying around, PUNCH, pig feed, the supplies from Raven Kat's bag tumbled onto the floor, empty bottles of Dramamine, tea bags, cats and dogs living together...

"Ummm... Ragnar? Could I borrow your radio?" she said. Ragnar grinned. "Have at it, Tick." The elf grabbed the radio and moved to the far corner of the cabin.

"Okay folks!" SunAeryn said. "We need to take action. There are lots of us here, and more on the way, if Leaped and GoE have their way... we gotta come up with a plan while Ticker tries to contact Saint Nick!"

"Sure, we have everything, all kinds of stuff, towed array, WAA, GPS, just about everything we need for ASW." Ragnar had started that alphabet-speak common among seafaring warriors. "This is a prototype Sub, we run on power generated by the PUNCH O DOOM REACTOR."

"Right, whatever, just so I know!" Aeryn started looking around to see if anyone else knew what the hell all the letters stood for. "ASW?"

"Anti SUB Warfare," Ragnar explained as he ducked low to avoid the overhead pipes since the floor of the passageways had apparently risen to accommodate the storage of all the canned goods they might need while under.

"Look at this mess!" Rae sighs and begins picking things up "Next time, remember to SHUT the bag, please. You know, I became a vegitarian precisely so I could avoid messes just like this one..."

"Frell it! We aren't close enough to the surface to get good contact with Santa yet." Turning to Rangar, Tick yelled again "HURRY, HURRY!"

This would be the best time to ask, artickat thinks to herself. Artickat clears her throat (frelling furballs!) to get everybody's attention.

"Well....that's not all." Shooting a beseeching look at the Scooby Gang Artickat continues "I have spilt personalities and I wasn't sure if I could be part of the Scooby Gang if you guys knew." *deep sigh* "But I have to come clean about that."

Sweetie, I'm a raven, a cat, and a human. Where you been? None of us are precicely, ah... normal. Makes the sport more fun when you don't know who you're playing. Buck-Aww. Sorry... Furball..."

"I need you here Tick. You know your one of my best elves." Tick's ears blush with Santa's compliment. "Hasn't Charlie arrived with the pigs to pick you up yet?

Tick looks at the Scooby Gang and swallows hard "Yes Santa, Charlie and the pigs are here but there is a problem. I don't have the map anymore."

"That's not all Santa, it all started like this" while Tick is telling Santa the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her God, artickat begins to help Rae pick up the mess in the sub.

"Hey, does anyone smell something burning?" Artickat looks around to see what it could be. "What are you pointing at? What's that your saying? My heads on...what? Ohhhhh,...My heads on fire. Why didn't you say that to begin with?"

Just then leaped comes up and throws a bucket of water on artickat's head! "I've been waiting to do that since you said I was your mother!"

"I never said you were my mother! Ahhhh, never mind! Thanks for putting me out leaped." Artickat leans forward so that leaped can see the top of her head.

"What's so funny?" artickat gingerly feels the top of her head and finds a large bald spot in her fur. "Man, it's all the way through my undercoat too!" A look of total shock comes over artickat's face. "Oh nooo, I always thought I would look like my mom some day but now I look like my DAD!" Looking down at leaped artickat burst out laughing.

Getting control of herself for a moment artickat responded "My fur grows really fast and besides that I can always do what Dad used to do. How do you think a comb over would look?" artickat lost all control at that point.

Ummmm......... I am glad you are ok Arctic but now that Tick has gotten ahold of santa should we be not back to chasing Dr. Gobbles and what of Fu manchuTurkey?

Ragnar was trying hard not to laugh at artickats new doo. An occasional whisp of smoke drifted up to follow her around. Rae seemed to have things well in hand. He noticed Mouse off to one side expectantly watching.

Ragnar looked at all the others, the pigs were even waiting. He turned to Tick. "Well Tick, what do you say? We can go on up and let you fly back or we can try to catch that sub."

Ticker looked speculative, torn between her loyalties. With each passing second the turkey sub sped away. She shuffled her feet. "Gee Santa needs me but..."

Rae asks. "Tick? How many? We can, we can organize a strike-team. Me, Weapon, SWORD, anybody who can fight. Ragnar needs to stay behind to direct things from this end, of course."

"An ambush. If Turkey doesn't know about the sled yet, we can use the boat as a diversion while the sled comes in under Santa's radar. While he's occupied with you, we can grab him..." Rae looks around. "What do you guys think? It'll be dangerous for all of us, but it just COULD work."

"Sun what did you do? Tell me you didn't just Pantac Jab Charlie! I can't believe this is happening! First I grew two thousand sizes to big.....then shrink two thousand sizes to small....get turkey napped, almost loose it totally and NOW this! Sun!" Tick exclaimed looking rather upset at her PK friend.

"Aha! this isn't SunAeryn.....a reasonable facsimily of her...but not our SunAeryn. She told me awhile back that she's allergic to the Punch of Doom.

"Can you guys hear me? I'm with the Big Guy and that evil fowl. Tick, the Big Guy is ok....but he doesn't sound so good....he's talking funny....and I can't get him to fresh air." Sun, the real Sun's voice was heard whispering

Tick whipped around to face the radio "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! The Big Guy is talking funny. Oh no, what are we gonna do?" Tick whined

"I'm okay, not sure how I got here....the last thing I remember is walking those ametuers off the long boat, then waking up to a jolly old elf patting my face. I don't think that evil little bird has hurt me or the Big Guy but this room is not big enough for the two of us to be in it. Good thing I had my walkytalky head set with me. I'm more worried about the Big Guy than anything....that and the room is shrinking(unknown to her Scaper Scooby pals, SunAeryn is clostriphobic)." Sun replied.

"Now look Sun" says Fu with a feathered wing around santas neck and Sun Aeryns stolen pulse rifle pointing at his head," I don't care about that recipe anymore just give me some brownies and I will be on my way. Those things will give me the strength of 100 turkeys! I won't have to clone myself!

Tell your friends they better just drop them from the sleigh when they fly over and If I receive them safely you and santa will be free to go!

"Don't be silly!" Ragnar said taking the mic for a moment. "You cann't pie Santa, he'll think you're a bad boy and your stocking will get filled with coal!"

"Yep coal. If you think people have it in for turkeys now, wait until they hear you've done something bad to Santa. For all we know he might be filling your stocking with Brownies this year! After all Tick is a Christmas elf ya know. The magic comes from somewhere!..."

Ragnar continues the ascent. With thick ice blocking the way, they'll have to travel across the top. It's probably best to stick together as well. It can be harsh up there. Hope Rae really did bring a little of everything in the bag of hers. Some of us are going to have to bundle up!

First of all she pick up Fu using the force (and a bit of pixie dust) and puts him in a safe place! Using her ghostly powers . Then she picks up SunAeryn and floats her home! then all the other scrapers are placed back in there beds all warm and snugg especially her preciouse leaped! Tick is sent to santas with charlie and the pigs. Santa is ok just a little shook up!

Then last but not least the leader of the gang Ragner. Who showed true bravery and wit at a time of crisis. She gives him one big pixie kiss and lays him to sleep warm in his bed!!

Good night all of you!! you have passed the test. All of you showed true bravery even if you were sick as a dog half the time.. You all have a place in the clouds when your time comes but that is not for a long time from now!!

when Ragner wakes up the next day he is awaken by the sound of water running in his bathroom !! He walkes in there very slowly and peaks in Suddenly the turkey steps out of the shower !!

Mouse and Raven braced against the bulkhead. Sword, Ticker, and Kahvi began picking up equipment and brownies that had become unsecured in the rapid ascent to the surface.

Ghost Fan of Elvis appeared from the passage way, a bit disoriented, and started floating around talking strangely. "It's a dream, all a dream...." Her voice trailed off.

"Everything is A.O.K!" Leaped called out from his controls. "Well, almost everything , Ghostfan what are you doing, when did you get in here??"

"Yep. It's the BENDS." Annisette nodded. "Nitrogen narcosis in ghosts is a very volatile condition, she could POP or change story lines too quickly!"

"We have to save Ghost Fan, Santa, SunAeryn and the story line!!!" Sword was rather Kirk-like in his exclamation. He looked around to see who noticed.

"Dammit Sword, I'm an Elf, not a miracle worker!" Ticker shouted, then broke into a full face grin. "Sorry, I always wanted to say that."

Ragnar swooped up GhostFan and started to carry her to sick bay as she tried to cover him in pixie dust and goodnite kisses. "Scottie, Scooby, somebody....just beam me up, please." Ragnar joked back to the crew.