Dec 18.00

Well, Christmas is only days away -- and Thank frikkin God! If I have to deal with parking lot chaos or that vomitous Little Drummer Boy song for much longer, you'll find me on the roof with a rifle and scope.
No, I don't take part in that "peace on earth good will toward men" crap. Why? because it's nothing more than a shallow, feel-good camouflage for an orgy of greed and make-believe.
You really believe that sales pitch that Christmas is about caring for others? Then you probably also believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and Britney Spears' virginity.
And why shouldn't it be contrived and cynical? So is the whole holiday! Jesus was born in July, the lights, trees and the December date were all appropriated from a pagan festival, and you can't celebrate Jesus' birth by fighting for parking spaces at the mall!
A season for giving to others? Don't make me laugh. It's just an exercise where people who don't really need anything give superfluous items to other people who don't really need anything, while shopkeepers stand at their cash registers singing "What a Friend I Have in Jesus."
And those cloying little Christmas cartoons...Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown -- propaganda! Brightly-coloured mind-control aimed at turning kids into good little holiday consumers!
Peace on Earth? Goodwill? Charity? Craaap. Everyone just walks around mouthing empty words, like a performance by S Club 7. The whole holiday dogma is nothing but an annual self-serving illusion to help you cleanse your conscience. You toss a Salvation Army Santa a quarter or let a guy squeegee your car and think you're doing your part to solve the world's problems. Hey -- wake up and smell the homeless!
Hey, I support giving a damn about others and the less fortunate -- but if you really believe in that kind of thing, your caring should last longer than length of time that the greeting cards are available at Shoppers Drug Mart.
And how would Jesus view this celebration? According to Christian lore, this guy washed the feet of the poor. How do you think he'd feel about lining up to blow $300 on a Playstation 2?
I'm not a Christian believer, but it seems to me if you want to celebrate something associated with Jesus, it should be the values he expressed in his life, not his birthday. Besides, Jesus was Jewish, so if you want to celebrate something significant try his bar mitzvah.
At least I don't have to endure it for much longer. Cuz soon as the 25th is over, the "peace on earth good will toward men" crap goes out the window as people claw and trample each other at Boxing Day sales.
So on December 25th, if you put a smile on your loved ones faces with your mass-produced, store-bought gifts, enjoy that superficial feeling of selflessness and giving, but don't think it redeems you for the other 364 days when you act like a total jerkwad.
Bah, humbug. I'm Ed the Sock.

~This is an editorial by Ed the Sock. I heard him say this on his show "Ed's Big Wham Bam" on Much Music. This isn't his only editorial, you can find more on his website.