Thoughts
by Falcon24

It's interesting. How the just are crushed, and the disrespectful and conniving are rewarded. The more experiences I have
in life, the more I am certain of this. Take one, teeny, insignificant little website community, for example. The community
of EarthBound. A community in which, over the course of the last couple of weeks or so, I have seen going downhill. To 
fully articulate my views, I will start with the lowest of the food chain, and work my way up.

Any person of prolonged existence in this community would know of a few undesirables. One may say "Bad seeds." Yet, all is
not lost in the EarthBound community for those dregs of society. It is quite miraculous, really, when these so-called bad 
seeds may once again flower gloriously. Only in a community such as this may the sins of those such as EarthBoundaholic and 
godofcows be forgiven. Oh no, let us forgive them for their transgressions! Let us welcome them with open arms, after they
have stabbed us in the back! After all, it's only natural to maintain the hypocrisy. After all, "EBa is cool."

Time to work my way up now, I suppose. At this point, I will be speaking from my own experiences -- and, if you feel I am 
being too "egocentric" or simply a whiner, you may discontinue reading this notice at any point. After all, no one has 
forced you to read it. Time now, to approach the subject of Forum Administrators, the beloved "admins". The hypocrisy 
therein is, simply put, astounding. For this example, let us now look at two admins -- One is myself, of course. The other
is a long-time Administrator by the name of Frodis. Now, let us also look at two very similar incidences. Here we have 
Falcon24, a prime example of exactly what must be done with power. I am not afraid to admit that I handle power very well --
when I feel it is necessary. Nevertheless, I surveyed the forums of Starmen.Net carefully, taking care of problems which 
arose, freeing up space which was being sapped by dead or useless accounts, and even more. Falcon24, a trustworthy and
hard-working admin: cut down in his prime. And for what? What transgression had he caused? The answer is simple: He had done
nothing wrong. What happened is quite interesting indeed -- a few "loyal members" of the website pointed to this perfect
model of behavior when something went wrong. When Great Lord reidman's pretty threads began disappearing, it was, of course,
only natural to blame this shining light of responsibility, Falcon24. The true culprit was none other than a dreg, who did so
through an administrator's account. Was there restitution for this mistake? No, not at all. Yet, now let us look at the
other extreme. Frodis, the administrator in question, was allowing(and I am definitely implying it to be intentional) his
account to be used by this dreg, EarthBoundaholic. A good two to three hours were spent trying to determine beyond
reasonable doubt whether Frodis was to blame, because we certainly would not wish to insult dear Frodis! When, at last, it
was found to be true, Frodis had his power removed -- only to gain it back a few days later. I simply love the weakness and
favoritism in this administration, don't you? It appears that the American Way works for some, and not for all at Starmen.Net.

Now now, I've spent too much time on that one topic, haven't I? Well, let us proceed higher up. Let us proceed to the realm
of IRC, to the realm where one person in particular, Falcon24, felt he had many, many friends. This turned out to be a lie,
along with everything else. I find it quite interesting that while Great Lord reidman only shows up periodically, quite
coincidentally it coincides with a personal blow to me. Now, here is yet another situation where the undesirable live on,
and the good, the JUST, suffer. As we all know at this point, Jamie_M and myself got into quite a little scuffle a few days 
ago. We were both punished equally, which from my perspective, is quite unfair. Let us now look at my point of view, yes?
Good. First and foremost, Jamie_M is one of the most freeloading, good-for-nothing former staff members ever to blemish this
website. He has done nothing but loaf about, and he has certainly not benefited this website, Starmen.Net, in the least. 
It is fact that he is no longer staff, yet it is also quite interesting to note that he is still allowed into the Starmen.Net
staff channel. If you could call it that. It is the "staff channel" no more. diospadre runs it, and we all know that 
diospadre doesn't care what anyone does in there. Therefore everyone has fun, everyone gets along for the most part, the good
portion of people swear in there. Who cares? Just words, merely words. Who cares, then? reidman cares. Why? He's never around
anymore. Why should he care to spoil our fun? Ah yes, I forgot -- reidman is King at Starmen.Net. We must all comply with his
wishes. It's funny to note that no one does, however. Even funnier, when innocent people get caught in the crossfire, they
suffer. Falcon24 was caught in the crossfire. Falcon24 was reprimanded for doing something completely natural. Bickering. 
What's wrong with bickering? Nothing at all. The human race will never be civil, the world will always be dismal. 
Surprisingly, I find that the movie The Matrix states it quite accurately in one scene -- "Human beings define their lives 
through suffering." Why then, does it matter that we do something natural? Bickering once in a while is fine -- it stirs the 
dormant embers of our violent and bloody history. It's not like I can reach out through the internet with my magical powers 
and lob Jamie_M's head off(as much as I would like to, sadly, technology hasn't advanced that far).

The next topic which I will cover will be brief, for it brings tears to my eyes, and I well up with bitter disgust whenever
it comes to mind. Therefore, I will deal with this topic as little as I can. Friends. Hah! As if someone from the internet
could be your friend. It's preposterous. To think, I actually thought I had friends. How very wrong I was. You see, as one
who is inexperienced with the art of making friends, the internet was all I had. It's a pitiful, shameful story, yet it is
all true. The internet is, or at least was my only salvation. I will now try to briefly summarize my feeling on this topic,
as extensive coverage will cause me to be vehement. NeoPaula, I hate you. I am using the strongest word in the English 
language specifically for you. I despise you with all the ill feelings in my heart. To think, you would be NOTHING if it 
wasn't for me! It was I who first introduced you to #smnet, and it was on my misfortune that you finally became staff for
Starmen.Net. You're just like Richard Nixon -- you ride someone's coat-tails until you have no more use for them. With that 
in mind, actually, you'd be somewhat like me too. So, should I hate myself with a passion too? Wait, too late for that. I 
already do. As for the rest -- I can truly say there are only three people who I know that I do not despise -- those three
being guruzeth, PSI322, and Tomato. The rest of you have used me in one way or another, or weren't there for me when I needed
someone's help. You're simply out to get me, or to see me die. I'm crying as I write these words now, which is such a silly
thing to do over such a trivial thing as this, so I suppose I shall stop now, but with a few last words on this topic in 
mind -- you people take the things I do too seriously.  When I kick, when I ban, when I do crazy stuff in the staff channel,
it's all in fun(at least from my perspective). I take it as much as I give it. Apparently, no one seems to understand that.
People seemingly like to distort my words and my actions into something grotesque and untrue. "I don't like when Falcon
kicks me around like a football". Live with it! It's a freaking IRC chat room, and a little kick from someone who's just
messing around isn't going to matter in the great scheme of things. In fact, none of anything I say matters at all, because
nothing will change, and this place will just continue deteriorating. I'll be gone long before then, most likely, so don't
stick around just to torment me, because even though I am full of hatred at this point, I still have yet to reach my
true breaking point.

Lastly, I wish to discuss the highest point in the land. Those who lead Starmen.Net into its glorious future. Hah, glorious
indeed. I have no quarrels with Tomato, none whatsoever, because Tomato is a great guy. However, what I'm going to say now
will probably make him an enemy too, unfortunately. There are only two members who leads this website. I've already ruled
out one. By natural selection, you will find this answer. Hello, reidman. It appears that you are guilty of the same crimes 
as myself. I am not the only one, it seems, who quests to be the best. The only difference is that you were born into
such a position, one where you could call all the shots, whereas I have had to struggle. It's actually quite amazing that 
someone such as I, someone with absolutely no skills in dealing with people, has risen to a height in which he has become
a full-fledged Starmen.Net staff member. At least, until now, for I can slowly feel everything falling apart on me. It's all
coming down. The only difference between me and you, reidman, is that you adhere yourself to some religious belief, whereas
I have given up any faith whatsoever. That's all. In a world like this -- even taking such a small insignificant part of it
like the largest EarthBound website in the world -- a world where there is no justice, just misery, there can't be a God.
Well, reidman, go ahead. Continue to punish those who don't deserve it, when all around you those who really do are getting
away with stabbing their fellow human beings in the back. Live, Think, Breathe EarthBound, until your breath, your thoughts,
and your life itself are swallowed up by the chaos.

So, what have I personally learned from this whole ordeal? I've learned that, most definitely, words have entirely too much 
power. I hope, then, that any one of these words in here will strike each and every one of you in the heart, and perhaps
force a change. However, I don't see that happening. Why is that, hmm? It's because people are too set in their ways.
Remember the old EarthBound prophecy, "The passing of time will shatter the Nightmare Rock, and reveal the path of light"? 
There is a Nightmare Rock in the Starmen.Net community. Perhaps it is me, I don't know. Nevertheless, there is no path of 
light, no glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. At least for me. So, would leaving the site bring that glorious new 
future? Would you like that if I left? I certainly wouldn't like it. Deep down, this is the only place I really belong, 
despite my intense hatred for everything and everyone. I don't look as power as something to toy with, I look at it as
something which can be used in a beneficial way to make people happy. Like, say, raising my "friend's" op access in #smnet 
for putting up with my craziness, shortly before having my very own access dropped -- with a "friend" of mine informing Good
Mr. reidman of my alternate nicks so they can be removed as well. Well, I suppose that's it. My advice? There are a lot of
unhappy people like me in this community, people who feel the same way as I do, although perhaps I am the only one with 
enough of a miniscule influence to have my words heard. Heh, influence...that's quickly disappearing as well. Well, what
have we now, hmm? One thing left -- my privileges as a Starmen.Net staffer. However, I sense that those will soon be taken 
away as well. Well, if you feel it is necessary, go ahead. Go and find someone else who will be as devoted to that section
and put as much effort into turning it around as I had. It's funny, I remember Gio's words -- I'm only a "small-time 
staffer". Funny. If it wasn't for us "small-time staffers", this website would be history. Acknowledge me! Praise my
greatness! Allow my ego to thrive, because it certainly is waning! That's all I wanted. But above all, I wanted to have
some friends I could trust. I can trust no one, not even myself. Congratulations, reidman, you've pushed me over the edge!
I'm sure you can add this accomplishment to your trophy room, as being the overseer of a lot of people who self-destruct.
You're like a malevolent God, reidman -- you're an absentee landlord most of the time, then you swoop in out of nowhere
and punish those who don't deserve it. So, I guess for insulting the webmaster, I can kiss my staff position goodbye. I 
dread such, but I needed to get these words out. I have too much anger and hatred bottled up inside me, and this is a 
release. Next time you want to push someone around, think twice before pushing me. I bite back. Of course by now, the hounds
have been de-fanged for the most part, so I guess there's really nothing to worry about. If there's one thing I want you to
gain from this, it would be to just understand who I am. I am not a normal person. I never have been. People assume that my
actions are deliberate, when most of the time they are a direct result of my uncontrollable impulseivity. I have Attention 
Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, something that has held me back for years, something that I've had to fight and struggle to
master, but I just can't do it all the time. I'm sure by now all of you hate me, which is perfectly fine. But, know this:
I'm not the only one like this in the Starmen.Net community. There are many others out there who wish to have their voices
heard, and only I may be lucky enough to have my pleas not fall on deaf ears. However, as will be the case, no one will care.
My emotional proclamations will be seen as insane ramblings. Do what you want with it. Judge me, condemn me, destroy me, if
it so pleases you. Continue with your website, and if you feel I am not mentally or emotionally stable enough to continue
being a staff member for your website, then remove me. I'm sure that will please you also. Do what ever you want, I have 
resigned to my fate.

My God, EarthBound has ruined my life.