From:Simon H. Laub (simonl@daimi.aau.dk)
Subject:The OJ sitcom continues 
NewsGroups:soc.culture.usa, rec.humor
Date:1995/10/08 
 

The OJ sit com continues :
-------------------------------

  Just before OJ heard the venal Jury decision,he and Barry
Scheck (sp ?) joined hands in prayer. And sure
enough, the good Lord was happy to deliver more plagues
to sin city :

  Some has compared OJ to a T-Rex - which of course
is wrong, as few T-Rexes played football and fewer still
used gloves when engaged in the art of killing.
  No , this is 1995 LA :

===============================

  Where Johnnie Cochrane has convinced America, that
Vanatter and Fuhrman were the ones who did the killing
in order to frame OJ.
  OJs new blonde girlfriend Paula isn't one bit worried
about : "He is back ---Who ? ..He is OJ Simpson ...
he is going nuts....".
  As this according to Cochrane was planted by Fuhrman.
In reality it was Fuhrman dressed up as OJ - framing
an innocent man.  

  Now that OJ is cleared and declared 100 % innocent.
OJ will address the nation from his mansion "To
answer all questions". Being a foreigner
one kind of thought, such "addressing the nation" was
only for presidents. But then again - who cares
about (whats his name) president address, when one can hear
from OJ.

  In the future - When OJ is not out "hunting
for the real killers" (presumably armed with a
knife and knit cap) working together with
Batman and the boy wonder Barry Scheck - 
he plans to work in politics.

  Actually, OJ plans to run for mayor of LA. 
The slogan is going to be a Nixon rerun :
"OJ is the one", but to the black community he will
use the more sophisticated : "OJ is black,
you are black - so you must vote for OJ". Anyway
this is the advice of his lead attorney Cochrane. 
It worked in Washington DC. so why not LA ?


As one can't help admiring OJ-genes staying
power - slave ships, KKK, football, trial of
the century etc. Coca Cola next slogan will
be : "A Coca Cola a day keeps you OJ". Perhaps
with a picture of OJ and Batman out chasing the real
killers.

  The money the defence dream team payed to Mrs. Moran
and associates to make them concentrate on the
facts of the case (that OJ is black and they are black),
will be put to good use in South Central LA. Rumours has
is that South Central will be renamed OJ-city.
  And that a OJ amusement park is to open soon.
Here you can beat up blondes as much as you like - 
and sneak around in the dark with your knit cap and knife.

  To finance his legal problems OJ plan to release a 
home porn movie he and Nicole recorded before her death 
called : "OJ and the slave-girl".

  Also, always eager to improve his financial situation -
OJ has agreed to a guest-appearance in Michael Jackson's
next video - in order to give it a more
macho look. Making a choir consisting of Batman, OJ
(wearing knit cap and knife) and Michaels monkey
Bobo - singing "Welcome to America". 
 
  Michael plans to look after OJ's children in return.

- Simon 
http://www.daimi.aau.dk/~simonl/

  more OJ stuff at :
http://www.pathfinder.com