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| Geri Riviara by General Debbie/Amidala |
| {intro into the special news story on sgcNEWS...break to see Geraldina sitting at a desk, arm in a cast and black eyes evident even through the make-up} |
| Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the most horrific and mentally exhausting story that I have ever done. My cameraman Mike didn't make it back out with me...only his camera was shoved through in his final, desperate attempt to escape. Watch with us now as I take you through the day that we investigated..."WHAT HAPPENED TO SG-13?" |
| {Geraldina stands in front of the camera, which has been rigged for night-time vision. Everything appears an eery green color} |
| {voice over} No one knows what happened that dark, stormy night January 21, 2001. But everyone knew that something had changed. It's a place that usually has non-stop activity, and then one day - all of that vanished without a trace of what happened. There are rumors that a collective yell came from this underground facility and then crew compartments of SG-13 grew silent. Come with me now as we try to determine what happened to SG-13. |
| As we approached the complex, deep underground - we already knew that it was going to be a bumpy ride. {shows the lift car descending through a well lit tunnel, going through an underground cavern and waterfall and then a built-in dryer that dried their clothes and zapped them with static electricity} As you can see here, the battery pack to the microphone exploded and got Mike in the leg. Fortunately, we had been warned about this particular device and Mike had worn his special flak pants. {Mike is now screaming at the top of lungs as he realizes that the battery acid is eating through his flak pants...he quickly takes them off and we see he's wearing plaid boxer shorts} Er....anyways...here we are getting out of the lift and opening the door to the SG-13 crew quarters. Everything is dark. The occasional moan of a sleeping alien could be heard, followed by a whacking sound and then some "ooooofff" sounds. Upon further investigation of the sounds, Thor's body is discovered, battered and bruised, and freshly sealed inside his biopod. It's the only thing giving off light. |
| Bodies are lying scattered across the floors and it looks like something terrible has happened here. Human bodies just weren't meant to be in this condition, and finally - they cracked under the pressure. |
| If we take a look inside one of the most dangerous coves of all, we'll see a young woman asleep on top of a chained down young man. The discarded clothing next to the bed indicates that this young man may be a young Jedi called Obi-Wan Kenobi. I don't think it's safe to be in here so we'll go see if we can find out what happened here. |
| Our next room turns out to be the pool room and the water looks red with rust as we near it. If you look carefully towards the center of the pool, you'll see some bubbles breaking the surface of the water...I don't know what is in this water, but Mike and I decide that it would be best to leave this room. And so we make our way back into the hallway and in the darkness, we see a light shining from up ahead. Thinking that someone may be awake, we carefully approach the lighted room in the hopes of catching the unsuspecting member so we can tag him and then release him back into society and watch how he interacts with his former life. As we approach the doorway, we see this. {image shows a huge room filled with bar stools, beer signs and a jukebox} It's empty...not a wakened soul around. {a slight sound is heard and the camera pans instantly to the right...the cameraman slowly approaches the doorway and finds a kitchen...Mike enters the room followed by Geraldina. Sounds are heard coming from the other end of the room and they slowly make their way towards them.} What's that noise? It's sounds like someone is making something... and, {smells the air} it's chocolatey. |
| {picture breaks to Geraldina} And we'll return to "What Happened To SG-13?" after this commercial break. |
| {commercial break ends and we see Geraldina sitting at the desk again} |
| Ladies and Gentlemen, I have to warn you that the next pictures are too horrific for younger viewers...if you have children watching, please send them out of the room now. |
| {the tape starts playing again and we rejoin our idiotic duo as they approach the source of the noise in the kitchen whispering} what is it? I've never seen one of these before? do you think it's dangerous? quiet... it's coming this way {camera starts to back away from the area as URGO comes around the corner and sees the intruders} |
| {Urgo} HALT! WHO GOES THERE? |
| {Geraldina} AAAAAAAAA!!! RUN MIKE!!! |
| {Geri and Mike start running down the hallway, trying to get to the exit as Urgo chases them} |
| {Urgo} WAIT! COME BACK!! I JUST WANTED A LITTLE 'NOSH...DO YOU HAVE ANY 'NOSH? PLEASE!! I'm so hungary and they pad locked everything before they went into the sleep cycle...all I have is Chic's stash of chocolate bars... {reaches up at them as they fumble to get the door open} Hey wait!!! You can't go out that way it's {rocks start to fall} booby-trapped! |
| {The camera suddenly switches angles and now we see Mike being covered by rocks as he reaches for Geraldina's hand to help pull him to safety. The camera catches Urgo dragging Mike back into the crew compartment and Geraldina slams the lift car button for up and, at break neck speed, the lift car zooms up through the tunnels...we see Geraldina fall down and get squished by gravity and speed against the floor of the car until she's thrown out of it by the sudden stop at the top...a medical team rushes to her aid...asking where Mike is} |
| {image goes back to Geraldina at the desk} |
| I don't know what they're doing to Mike right now...but all of our thoughts and prayers go out to his family. He risked his life to save mine and to bring this story to you. So please, for your ownsake, don't go near SG-13... |
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| {break to SG-13 quarters where Mike and Urgo are enjoying a nice cup of tea and some scones while watching the tv show} |
| {Mike} You know, that woman was such a bitch. Can you believe she wanted to tag you people and put you back out there? |
| {Urgo shivers} I should have woke Chic up when that evil lady came around...Chic would have taught her a thing or two about tagging people. She's got this little laser thingy that makes it painless. |
| {Mike} Good tea my man...what kind is it? |
| {Urgo} Something Thor made... |
| {lights start to come back on at SG-13 as the sleep cycle comes to an end} |
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