Chapter Four: Training 
     "SHOWTIME FOLKS! SG-13! LET'S MOVE OUT!" Isis announced and then went to join SG-13 as they jumped out of the airplane. They formed up again to make different patterns until it was time to pull their parachutes and land.
     This fact did not go unnoticed by the remaining SG teams as they floated down to the ground. All Daniel could hear on the way down was Major Coburn griping about how he thought they'd been set up. A tiny portion of his brain didn't know whether or not to thank Isis for strapping him to Coburn. It's times like this that he wished he knew how to parachute or could at least switch places with Teal'c and be strapped to Jack. However, the main of his brain was too busy trying not to look at anything other than the back of his eyelids. To say he hated heights was a gross understatement.
     As O'Neill watched SG-13 land, he looked at Teal'c and noticed that he had been watching them too.
     "So Teal'c! What do you think about SG-13?"
     "They are not what they appear to be O'Neill."
     "In what way?"
     "They like for people to believe that they are reckless, but their movements betray that appearance. They are extremely well trained and work as a team most efficiently. They will be a formidable opponent in this exercise O'Neill."
     "Teal'c"
     "Yes O'Neill?"
     "Bend your knees"
     "...."
     "Makes landing easier if you don't break your legs in the process."
     "You are correct O'Neill."
     "Get ready for it."
     "I am ready"

     3 hours later...
     "Hold it!" Colonel Irish whispered, thrusting out her hand to stop the next person from advancing.
     "What is it?" Parker whispered.
     "Someone has been this way." Irish replied.
     "How can you be sure?" Justin asked.
     "Because I learned all about tracking and survival skills in the Girl Scouts." Irish whispered back to Justin in an annoyed tone of voice.
     "Girl Scouts!" Rei exclaimed.
     "SSHHH! There's movement up ahead. I think it may be SG-3." Parker quietly said as he pointed to where he saw the movement.
     Irish motioned for them to fall back a short distance and then they assumed flanking positions while she took point. Slowly, they crept up on the unsuspecting team. It was easy to pick out the brush that didn't belong there. And the foot sticking out from under it didn't help the unlucky team member any either. When SG-13 had completely surrounded SG-3, they opened fire and quickly won the battle. Only 2 members from SG-3 were left without any life-threatening "paint-ball" injuries. The "dead" and the 2 "prisoners" were quickly corralled to the back of the group and marched a few minutes behind the main group.

     Meanwhile, Isis' group was on the trail of SG-9. Reaching a fall back point, she pulled out several lengths of rope and started tossing them to her team.
     "We're not going to hang them are we?" Odis asked jokingly.
     "No dufus. We're going to use them as bait, right Isis?" Franks said as he glared at Odis.
     "Yup. Rig up your harnesses. I have a plan." Was all that Isis would say as she walked off.
     "Why is it every time she says that, I get a bad feeling?" Stealth asked as he glanced over at Odis.
     "Because she enjoys these things way too much?" Odis answered him, shrugging her shoulders.
     "True, but does she know how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie roll pop?" Chic quipped.
     "Stop being a dumb ass!" Franks said as he slapped the back of her head.
     "No need to be rude." Chic whispered into his ear as she pinched him on his butt.
     "Will you keep it down!" Isis glared at them.
     "Sorry." Franks, Odis and Stealth said at the same time.
     "I'm Sorry." Chic just had to be different. The others just shook their heads. "What?"
     Isis explained the game plan and they quickly dispersed and got into their assigned positions.
     Watching Chic stumble into the area, they waited for SG-9 to take her prisoner. As soon as she was in the middle of their trap, she sat down and pulled out her canteen. The plan was to use the ropes and throw them up into the air and let them drop onto the unsuspecting team members. The plan was to try and make them react to having a snake suddenly drop on them from the tree branches above. But SG-9 took no notice of the rope snakes, mainly because the ropes were too light to travel the distance and fell short of their goal. Looking sheepish, Isis shrugged her shoulders and waited to see what Chic would do when the time period was over for Plan A and Plan B was to start.
     Chic took her time to open and swallow the contents of the container, she noticed that they weren't coming out of hiding or even reacting to the *snakes*. So she decided to improvise, which is why she was the one in the middle of the enemy trap. Taking a gulp of her drink, she started to hiccup and sway back and forth on the log that she had been sitting on. She stood up and quickly fell to the ground. Cursing herself for being clumsy, she tried to stand up. Falling again, she started to crawl along the ground until she came up to a tree. Knowing that an enemy was in the brush beside the tree, she carefully pulled herself up the tree, cursing the tree as she went. Taking her canteen to her lips again, she leaned her head back to take another swallow and conveniently fell into the lap of the enemy, her paint-gun firing wildly all around her the whole time she was falling into the brush. By the time he knew what was going on, the rest of his team had rushed from their places to see if he was injured by the obviously drunk soldier falling on him.
     Isis sprung the trap and SG-9 was quickly taken out of action. Smiling to herself, Chic was prancing about the group doing her happy dance.
     "Uh, Chic."
     "Yes Isis."
     "What did you have in this canteen?"
     "Would you believe a Non-Alcoholic beverage?"
     "Do I need to believe it was one?"
     "I cannot tell a lie. Yes, it was pickle juice."
     "Pickle juice!?"
     "Tastes like ...."
     "I don't want to know."
     "Your loss." Chic said as she walked off shrugging her shoulders.
     "Well, I wonder if Wulfbane has had any luck with SG-2?" Isis wondered aloud.
     "What about SG-1? Where do you think they are?" Stealth asked.
     "They're probably guarding base camp. Set up along the perimeter watching for our arrival. SG-1 will be the most difficult of all of these teams. We'll need to meet up and form an attack strategy to take them out." She replied.
     "Right, well then - I'll just go get my gun ready for the big one." Chic said as she bent down to retrieve her paint gun from off of the ground.
     "Uh Chic." Stealth called out to her.
     "Yes?" She turned to face him.
     "You might want to clean the paint off your arm." He said as he pointed to her left arm.
     "What paint? Where? SHIT!! Who shot me?" She looked at her arm in astonishment.
     "Don't worry. It barely grazed you." Lifting up her arm, he showed her where the paint just barely grazed her jacket.
     "Who shot me?" Chic was seething with anger.
     "I'll never tell." Stealth turned and walked away from her with the grin of a Cheshire cat on his face. If it hadn't been against the rules, Chic would have shot him in the back of the head with her paint gun. Mumbling under her breath about revenge, she stalked off to join up with the team.

     Hiding within the thick brush, Wulfbane waited for SG-2 to return to the clearing. When they had first come upon the clearing, he had noticed several tracks leading off into different directions. He had noticed more tracks leading away then SG-2 had members so he knew that they were trying to confuse their real path with decoy trails. He had two options available to him. He could either wait and see if they would return to make another trail or pick one and try to find them. Deciding to wait for an hour, he was just about out of time when he heard a faint noise coming from the side of the clearing.
     After a few minutes, SG-2 finally emerged from the brush and started to head out onto another trail that would take them straight towards base camp. Giving the signal, Wulfbane, Vansen, FG, Corry, and the newest member to the team, Ashira took out the unsuspecting team from their hideouts.
     After radioing the rest of SG-13, they met at the clearing to discuss their next move.
     "Okay folks, it's SG-1 that we're going after now. They're the best at this so we need to plan every last detail if we're going to do this." Isis said, looking over her team. So far, none of them had been taken out during the paint-ball exercise. But she knew they wouldn't be that lucky with SG-1.
     "So--what's the plan?" Odis asked.
     Isis responded with a few questions of her own. "What do we know about them that we could use to our advantage? Suggestions anyone?"
     "Daniel is allergic to practically everything." Parker stated the obvious.
     "Yeah but he's taking medicine for that so that doesn't really help us anymore." Stealth reminded him.
     "Teal'c can hear anything out of the ordinary so it's doubtful we'll be able to sneak up on them." Irish could tell she had deflated the hopes of some of them by saying that.
     "Is there a river running through base camp?" Vansen asked.
     "Yeah but at this time of year, you'd have hypothermia in a matter of minutes." Fatguts added.
     "What about waiting till night fall to attack?" Wulfbane asked Isis.
     "But that will limit our chances of succeeding too." Ashira spoke up for the first time that day.
     "And Teal'c would still be able to hear us coming." Irish reiterated.
     "Plus with the night vision equipment, it would be no different than daytime." Franks pointed out.
     "So we're back to where we started." Sighed Isis.
     "We could send a few of us in as decoys to draw them out and then the rest of us could take them out." Corry perked up as she said.
     "But won't they be expecting it if they see how few of us are there?" Justin asked.
     "What about sending in all of us except for the sharp shooters?" Rei asked.
     "Can you sharp shoot with a paint-ball gun?" Chic asked her.
     Right then, the "prisoners" erupted in laughter. Ferretti and Coburn were telling jokes and reliving some of the more humiliating scenes they had seen O'Neill and his crew in. SG-13 turned to look across the makeshift camp at them. Feeling their gaze upon them, the "prisoners" turned and looked into the happy faces of their "captors".
     Isis turned back to face the group and several people spoke at the same time. "I have an idea!"

     An hour later...
     O'Neill couldn't believe his eyes. Glancing over at Carter, he saw that she had the same look. There were SG teams 2, 3, and 9 marching the captured members of SG-13 into base camp under armed escort. Giving the signal, they came out of their hiding places and approached the group. Noticing that everyone was covered in mud, he was glad that he had missed out on SG-13's capture.
     As he approached Ferretti and Coburn, he noticed their grim expressions. He started to ask them about it as he felt something hit his chest. Looking down he saw the paint splattered right where his heart was beating. Quickly looking around for the shooter, he started to call out a warning to the rest of his team but stopped when he looked over at them. They too had been "killed". Looking back at Ferretti, he noticed that the "prisoners" were holding their guns at them and had big grins on their faces.
     "What the hell?" O'Neill exclaimed.
     "We're dead sir." Sometimes, Sam really loved to state the obvious when the Colonel asked a stupid question.
     "I agree Major Carter. But I do not understand how you were able to accomplish this task General Isis." Teal'c said as he looked around and noticed that the mud covering everyone was also covering up SG-2, 3, and 9's "kill" marks.
     "Ah Teal'c, this tactic was invented in the 15th century." Daniel said as he walked over to him. "Basically, since the captured team members were going to be a liability in our capture, Isis' team switched places with them and used that to lure us out of our hiding places."
     "It was very effective. I shall remember this for future reference General Isis."
     Isis nodded her head at Teal'c and headed towards base camp. By some miracle, SG-13 had made it through without losing one team member Isis thought to herself as she drifted off to sleep that night in her tent. 'Perhaps we're going to be okay after all' was her last thought before she fell asleep.
     The next two days were spent brushing up on rock climbing skills and learning basic fighting and survival tactics when fighting with Jaffa warriors and other enemies. The last day was spent with Daniel training them in what to look for and note for further research into the past lives of the inhabitants of the planet and a brief lesson on how to remove objects from the ground without damaging the artifact more than absolutely necessary. O'Neill kept reminding them to not just simply reach out and touch any object before they had a definite idea about what it would do and gave several examples of Daniel and his amazing gift for ignoring this basic advice and getting the team into trouble.
     By the time the team returned to base, exhaustion was evident from all 5 teams. After their medical examination, General Hammond gave them 48 hours off to rest up for the next session of training. 'They thought this was bad', Hammond thought with a chuckle, 'Just wait till they've had a week of learning how all this gate technology works from Major Carter and Dr. Jackson. They'll be begging for mercy.'
Another adventure? Or continue this one?