The Top 60 Signs That SG-1/SGC Has Taken Over Your Life
(In Random Order)
by
  SG-13  
     1. You use "Good Morning Campers!" and "Ya think?!" in normal dialog.
     2. You know what kree means and argue with others about it.
     3. You know what every one of Carter's gadgets does.
     4. You get upset that naquadah is nowhere to be found on the Periodic Table and petition to have it added.
     5. You can actually locate the constellations on the Abydos cartouche.
     6. You're convinced you ran into SG-1 back in 1969.
     7. You are actually serious about buying that $1600 life-size model of the Stargate.
     8. Your bumper sticker reads "Don't Make Me Zat You"
     9. A GDO is needed to deactivate your home security system.
     10. You write a note excusing your child from school on Friday because they were attending their primta.
     11. You search for a car rental agency that has a teltac to rent for your vacation.
     12. You salute members of the USAF as they pass and ask them if they work at the SGC.
     13. When someone asks you a personal question you reply, "Sorry, that's classified."
     14. Your husband, sick to death of Richard Dean Anderson, tells you to make a decision---it's either him or RDA. You, being the wonderful wife that you are, help him pack.
     15. You write SG-1 fan fiction.
     16. You are ready to brawl over whether Jack and Sam should be an "item".
     17. You would rather lose a day of sleep rather than miss a day of hanging out and "training" at the SGC, and suffer withdrawal seizures when you do.
     18. Your screen saver is the spinning SGC Logo and you leave it on when company stops by so that they think you really DO work for the SGC.
     19. You play war games for when the SGC calls you to active duty.
     20. You have actually used an auto-cad program to design your own gate, with complete layout plans because you seriously think one could be built.
     21. You willingly read a book on astrophysics, one about wormholes, and two about Schrodinger's Cat and quantum physics just so you can understand what the heck Carter is talking about when she technobabbles.
     22. You begin to use glyphs as punctuation when you write.
     23. Your family asks you to explain how the stargate works, you know, but dont know how to phrase it in laymen's terms.
     24. Your wardrobe consists of khakis, cammos, and home-made SG uniforms--and you never served in the military to get them.
     25. You begin to refer to your friends by first and last name, as Teal'c would...."Did you see the Bears game last week, David Wilson? They managed a mighty triumph over the Green Bay Packers.."
     26. You include an apostrophe in the name of your next born children....such as Da'vid or Su'san.
     27. You argue with the cop who pulled you over in the carpool lane that you DO have a passenger--you're a host to a Tok'ra.
     28. You needlessly flush your toilet repeatedly imagining you are standing before the wormhole's event horizon.
     29. You no longer automatically think of Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver.
     30. You know what someone means when they say they want to kill that damn monkey.
     31. You won't admit you have gas...you tell everyone your symbiote is detecting a Rhi'tu in the room.
     32. The police refuse to respond to your 911 phone calls because they won't do any more reports on Goa'ulds trespassing.
     33. You were arrested for tackling people in public to check their necks for Goa'uld entry scars.
     34. You have renamed your local area, and now instead of saying you are going to town you say "I'm going to P3X-112J for awhile. I'll be back later."
     35. You swear you were abducted by an Asguard.
     36. When coming across a bratty child at the mall you simply smile ruefully and think to yourself, "the very young do not always do as they are told."
     37. You have spent the last 3 years trying to find a Zat'nik'a'tel to purchase.
     38. You can't understand WHY your local tattoo shop won't tattoo your forehead in gold.
     39. The Secret Service keeps a special file on you because you keep writing the President begging to work at the SGC.
     40. Your children's friends must bring proof of a clear MRI to visit---otherwise you initiate Wildfire.
     41. You know the "Destroyer of Worlds" personally---it's your mother-in-law.
     42. You have every single episode on videotape and watch them repeatedly searching for hidden mesages.
     43. You have gotten into arguments over whether James Spader or Michael Shanks is the better Daniel.
     44. You have "General________SG-13" printed right below your name on your checks.
     45. You and your friends get together and re-enact favorite episodes for the neighbors and family members.
     46. You turn off the lights on mission night and make your family search for dinner as part of their Covert Ops training.
     47. Your children know they are in trouble when told to report to Level 23.
     48. When something goes wrong your immediate response is "Oh, for crying out loud!"
     49. You go to the zoo's "Snakes of the World" exhibit to make sure no Goa'uld symbiotes are trying to blend into the crowd.
     50. At the public school board meeting you recommend that entry mark checks be performed at the same time as lice checks.
     51. You actually know what a code Alpha Beta Gamma Delta Charlie Hotel India Golf Sierra Tango Romeo Kilo Mike November Oscar Juliet Echo Zulu means.
     52. You paint your pet rock to look like one of Machello's Goa'uld-killing page devices.
     53. You credit all noisy bodily functions to "Junior."
     54. When you are filling out forms and it asks race you check Other:________and write in Tau'ri.
     55. You frequently try to reach a state of Kel No Reem.
     56. You keep checking through your telescope for pyramid and Asguard ships.
     57. Your dog stops in it's tracks when you yell "Spot, Kree!!"
     58. (Applies to Men) At the next gas station, you FINALLY stop and ask for directions to P3X-8596.
     59. You plop an illegal substance into your tropical punch Kool-Aid trying to duplicate the effects of the Blood of Sokhar.
     60. You laughed at Teal'c's jaffa joke.
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