BRAND NAME CONDOMS (...and their marketing slogans -- both good and bad)

On the money...

    Nike condoms
        Just do it.

    Bob Dole condoms
        Just don't do it.

    Toyota condoms
        Oh what a feeling!
            and
        I love what you do for me.
            and
        You want it, you got it...

    Nissan condoms
        Enjoy the ride.

    Nissan Altima condoms
        Even the skis fit.

    Ford condoms
        The best never rest.

    Chevy condoms
        Like a rock.

    Honda condoms
        We make it simple.

    Pontiac condoms
        We build excitement.

    Geo condoms
        Getting to know you...

    State Farm condoms
        Like a good neighbor, State Farm is THERE.

    Nationwide comdoms
        Nationwide is on your side.

    Diet Pepsi condoms
        You've got the right one, baby.

    Diet Coke condoms
        Just for the taste of it.

    Coca-Cola condoms
        Always the Real Thing.

    Snapple condoms
        Made from the best stuff on earth.

    Flintstones Vitamins condom pack
        Ten million strong and growing.

    X-Files condoms
        Trust No One

    Star Trek Virgin condoms
        Boldly go where no man has gone before!

    Borg condoms
        Resistence is futile!

    Godzilla condoms (promotion for the 1998 film release)
        "SIZE IS EVERYTHING"

    Camel cigarette condoms
        Smooth operator.

    Mentos condoms 
        The freshmaker.

    Snickers condoms
        It keeps you going.

    M & M condoms
        Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

    Lays condoms
        Betcha can't have just one.

    Ruffles condoms
        Ruffles have r-r-ridges.

    Smucker's condoms
        With a name like Smucker's, it HAS to be good.

    Campbell's Soup condoms
        Mmmm, mmmm, good.

    Leggs condoms
        Nothing beats a great pair of...

    Dawn (lubricated) condoms
        Takes grease out of your way.

    Pepto-bismol (lubricated) condoms
        It coats, soothes, relieves.

    Bounty condoms
        The quicker-picker-upper.

    Dow (Scrubbing Bubbles) condoms
        We work hard; so you don't have to.

    Dial condoms
        Aren't you glad you used it?  Don't you wish everybody did?

    Secret condoms
        Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.

    KFC condoms
        Finger-lickin' good.

    Carl's Jr. condoms
        If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong 
        in your face.
            and
        Bite the Big One(TM)
            and
        Drip Happens

    Burger King condoms
        Home of the Whopper.

    McDonald's condoms
        [The McCondom, and McCondom Deluxe (w/resevoir tip)]
               Over 85 trillion serviced.

    McDouble condoms
        Little horny, little horny.

    Togo's condoms
        We're here when you're hungry.

    Taco Bell condoms
        Get some; and make a run for the border.

    Hooters condoms
        More than a mouthful.  (See http://www.hooters.com/burger.html)
            and
        Hooters makes you happy!

    Little Ceaser's "Big Foot" Pizza condoms
        It's big...it's really, REALLY big 

    Federal Express condoms
        When it absolutely, positively HAS to be there overnight.

    U.S. Postal Service condoms
        $11, $11, $3...what's YOUR priority?

    Delta Airlines condoms
        We get you there.
            and
        We're ready when you are.

    United Airlines condoms
        Fly United!

    Avis condoms
        Trying harder than ever.

    Macintosh condoms
        It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.

    3DO condoms
        What are you playing with?

    Timex condoms
        Takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'

    Sony condoms
        It's a Sony(TM)!

    Quazar condoms
        Call me when you get get a quazar.

    Intel condoms
        Intel inside.  (do-ding-dun-ding jingle)

    Microsoft condoms
        Where do YOU want to go today?
            and
        Best Experienced with Microsoft condoms.

    Sears Latex condoms
        One coat is good for the entire winter.

    The Shane Company (diamond) condoms
        Now YOU have a friend in the condom business.

    Graebel (Van Lines) condoms
        Helping people move ahead...worldwide!

    Energizer condoms (yes, with the rabbit)
        It keeps going and going...

    Norelco condoms
        Anything closer would be too close for comfort.

    Gilette's Sensor condoms
        When a man can be the best that he can be.

    Air Force condoms
        Aim high!

    Marines condoms
        We're looking for a few good men.

    California condoms
        It's the cheese.


Good & Bad...

    Miller Lite condoms
        Tastes great!  Less filling!  (could be mangled to Less Feeling)

    Wendy's condoms
        Hot 'n Juicy
            and
        Where's the beef?

    7-Up condoms
        ...never had it, never will.

    Memorex condoms
        Is it live?...

    Sharp condoms
        From Sharp minds, come sharp products.


Hmmm...?

    Pringles condoms
        Once you pop, you can't stop.

    California Lotto condoms
        Is it you?  Is it me?  ...Who's next?

    New York Lotto condoms
        Cause hey -- you never know.

    U.S. Sprint condoms
        10 cents a minute...anywhere in the U.S.

    Pacific Bell Network condoms
        How will you use it?

    MCI condoms
        Join the Friends & Family (TM) Plan.


Truth is stranger than fiction:

    Ramses condoms (named after the Egyptian King that fathered 160 children)