Answering
Machines
1. "You have reached the Einstein, oh what was it, labottomy, NO,
labor, no, oh gosh, uummmm, whatever, the place where we do reaserch. We are not here
right
now so leave a, oh, hummm, i forgot, oh no, massage, no, oh gosh, whatever. Please speak
after the, oh no, what was it, uummmmm, the barf."
2. "Hello, you have reached the, who were you calling again, answering machine. We
are not here right now, we are at the Tavern enjoying a nice, cold mug of
beer, ummm, frosty. When we come back, we will call you if there isn't a good wrestling
match on t.v. So speak after the beep. BEEP!"
3. "Hello, this is my owners toaster, he is out and the answering machine is having a
break. I can't take your message, but i can make you some toast?"
4. "Hello, Fred Flinstone speaking. Wilma, we have calls! Wiiiillllmmmmmaaaaaaa, it's
for you!!! Uuuhh, she can't come to the phone right now, i'll take a message for her. Oh
yeah, and for those other people that live here to."
5. "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain the right size please
destroy your phone."
SEND ME ANY MORE THAT YOU COME UP WITH!!!