School Jokes

1. Once my Design and Technology teacher told me to guess how old he was. I guessed right and he told me this, "Hit the pin strait on
the head." and i answered, "But i do not have a hammer."

2. My Science teacher was once explaining why it is so important to wash your hands. He asked, "How many of you wash your hands
every day?" and all of us put our hands up. Then he asks ??How many wahs your hands before eating?" and no body put their hands
up.

3. You know, when your teacher catches you swearing, and he sends you to the principal? Never happend to me, but the principals son
is in my class, and i just went to him once and said "Sir, I swore!" and he laughed his head off.

4. I have this friend, who always has a huge grin on his face. Whenever a teacher is telling him off, he is smiling so broadley, that you
almost feel like laughing. Well, this guy gets told off for kicking this friemd of his in the backside. So he?s grinning, and when the
teacher asks him, "Why did you do that?" he answeres, "I do not know, but I?ll do it again, see?" and he goes and kicks the guy again.

5. Have you ever had to wear your dads shoes to school? Well, a friend of mine has, and boy, was he in trouble. His foot is a size 40 in
Europe. His dads shoe was a size 45. So, he goes to play soccer and his shoe flies up in the air. The first few times no one got hert, but
the last time, oh boy, the shoe landed right on this teachers head. It must have hert a lot, but then again, the teache doesn?t remember
anything, she was nocked out.

6. My dad was a very good prankster with teachers. In the chemistry lab, he mixes up this powder which makes anything weak. If you
rub it on the floor and the cleaning lady comes and adds some water to it, then she will have to be pulled out of a hole in the floor. So,
my dad puts some of this stuff on the leg of the teachers desk, rubs it with water and waits. The teacher comes in, slams his books on
the desk, and the whole thing collapses.

7. I remember that we used to do a lot experiments in the science lab in school. So, for this easy experiment, i am teamed up with this
guy who can do almost anything. So, we set up the experiment, and it involved a burner. So, in the middle of the experiment, the guy
sticks his pencil in the 800 degree flame and sets it on fire. Then, he drops it on the floor, and starts screaming that his pencil is on fire.
So the teacher comes and starts to put the flame out with his shoe. But he forgets he forgets he is wearing leather sandals to school that
day. So his leg is set on fire as well, and the hole class gets in trouble in the end, because they all laughed at the situation. (The teacher
was ok, he stuck his foot in a bucket of water).

8. In my school, we had to have a picture of the Superintendant in the hall. So, there we are, playing indoor soccer, and the ball goes up
in the air, hits the framed picture, it falls down and hits a teacher on the head. So, the teacher had to be sent to hospital and the person
who had kicked the ball got detention for not being careful, and had to pay for a new picture.

9. You know how your teachers always tell you not to swing on your chair? Well, what happened to me once was this, i am swinging
on my chair and I fall back,(which i think has happened to everyone atleast once)but the catch was, there was a cake in a cardboard box
without a lid. So, my head just toecheas the edge of the box, but it was enough to lift the whole thing and get the cake in my face.

10. I remember once, I had a very, very mean art teacher. She used to threated us that if we did not finish our work by the end of the
lesson, she will pinish us by making us vaccuum clean the desert.

11. It's appauling, you know, how some people do not teach their children to clean, and wash and stuff. I have this friend, who was
asked to clean up his table after he had painted on it. So, all he does is put away everything. So the teacher says, "Wash it up." The guy
stands there looking like he had just landed from another planet. So he says, ?? I do not know how.?? and everyone bust out laughing.
He was so embarrassed that the very next day, he asked his dad to teach him how to wash things and clean etc.

12. Ok, we are in the hall again, but thi time we are playing volleyball. So, the ball is coming to this guy from the far side of the court,
and he shouts out, "MINE!" So everyone leaves it to him, he gets ready for a set, and in the last minute headers the ball to the other
side of the net. The guy had such a headache afterwards that he couldn?t come to school the next day.

13. You know, when you like someone, you might ask them out. Well, this is what happened to this guy in my class. But he was
carrying a little voice recorder with him. So this girl asks him out, and he records her. So then, he sais no, and he plays it back to her a
million times, until she just takes the thing away and brakes into little pieces. But he was just about to play something else, and he was
so darn mad that he went out with her.

14. This other day at school, we were playing soccer on the street. But it was raining, and the road was under about two or three inches
of water. So this guy takes a shot in the biginning of the match, the goalkeeper trips on the pavement and hits his head on the floor.
Meanwhile, the guy who scored slips and hits his head on the goal post. Everyone starts laughing and they get banned of playing soccer
there again.

15. Once, my class went to climb the sand dunes near the school, for P.E. class. So this guy goes up then comes down the dune, and
then gigs a hole in it, and he sticks his head in. We left him there, and then we realised he might get hurt or something, we come back
and find the guy sleeping with his head still in the hole.

16. Once, we were playing Volleyball, and this guy comes, he shouts some stuff at me, about how dumb I was and stuff. He then turns
around and before he could realise what was happening, the guy bangs his head in the pole which was holding the net.

17. Once, my English teacher tells me that she'll give me a big, brown bear for Christmas. I then asked if someone else if they could
give me a shotgun and a few rounds.

18. I remember that the 5th grade were in my classroom one day, and they were going to show us their rainforest projects. So, they tell
us all this stuff, and then we start asking questions. First come a few sencible ones, and then came the killer question: "How many
leaves are ther ein the rainforests?" The class start laughing as hard as they can, the teacher starts slapping herself on the forehead, and
the 5th grade say that they do not know, and that we'll go to check the next day.

19. You know when you get asked a question and the person next to you tells you the answer? Well, once that happened except the answer was somethign very dumb. I mean, this guy gets asked, "Who does he meet which helps him find a job and is a key character in the book?" So the guy hears someone saying to him,     "A dead cat, a dead cat." So the guy says, "A dead cat." The teacher then gets so angry that she sends the guy to the principal to explain how one person can meet a dead cat.

20. I'll tell you, if the techer or anyone ever yells at you and you can't yell back, then you act stupid. Ask them why this and why that, and what and how and who. They'll get so pissed with you that they'll let you go.