I could probably tell you lots about my parents.
They are both Tatars (same as me) - for those who do not know
who the hell Tatars are I can tell that this is a minor nation
in the territory of the former Soviet Union. In fact Tatars proudly
call themselves the 'third largest nation in Russia', which is
comically true: Russians are on the first place with something
like 110 millions, Jews are on the second with 8 and Tatars are
on the third with 6 millions people. This is maybe not so important
to the scope o fthis story, but as I do not know what I'm aiming
at I better mention this too. Tatars used to have their own republic,
which survived the Perestroika too, but I've never been there.
They speak a disctinct language (similar to Turkish, but not quite)
and they have their own pretty long culture - probably a couple
hundred years.
So, my parents are Tatars, so did their parents and their grand parents. The reason I tell you all that is very obvious: most small nations favourate social intercourse only between members of such nation, and if it is not possible, then they try to preserve at least the genetic clearance of blood by afflicting the marriages and divorces. In fact this not untru for Tatars as well. They would deny it, if you ask somebody whether he would not allow his daughter to marry a foreign guy they would tell you 'Gosh, no! If she loves him - let them be happy...' But do not believe it from the first glance. Somtimes it is only a declaration: nobody says anything against, but you will hear peple around you whisper 'She is marrying a stranger - oh, yes, it's all her parents, they failed to grow her up in a traditional way...' You would probably be right to disregard this talks if you were not surrounded by those people all your life. Otherwise it could be unbelievably difficult to come through all this rumours.
I do not want to talk about how my mother married my father - this is between them. I only know that they were probably not very happy in their marriage, it could be better after all. During the very first years I did not remember anything strange, but just because I was a small child and I have very few memories from the early past. But just from the age of 4-5 I heard the first quarrels and witnessed verbal battles between them. No, they were civilized enough not to hurt each other but even the shouting made me shiver of fear and hide onto some small hole not to attract some attention. This hell had been continuing for all my live, is is still on but I believe now it is too late to make any severe decision - they depend on each other.
My mother is a very strong woman, she has very high requirements to herself and to the surrounding and whilst she managed sometimes to meet those requirements for herself, her surrounding was not so developed and that disstressed her and made her really angry. She wanted to change the world and she wanted everybody to help her. But no - you may misunderstand me, she did not have some inconcrete goals, her objectives were indeed very clear and practical. With the same strength she fought dirt at home, lazyness of me and my Dad, our friends and everything what hurdled to fulfil her programs. She wanted me to be first at school and she tore herself to this goal without hearing what others may think. (You can imagine what it cost me: 6 hours of daily learning at home, after the classes, plus music school, plus supplementary classes in math and German). I can't deny that it helped me greatly: first I learned to learn - and this is a very important feeling, when you want to learn. Now at the age of 25 I'm still eager to learn new things, gather new knowledges - and that's all thaks to my Mom... It also helped be to know the boundaries of my capabilities. I know what I can do or can learn and what can be done at a higher price so it would not pay itself...
(to be continued...)
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