Midnight
Bugs taste Best
Saddlebags
can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
Wear Heavy
Boots. You can't kick things when you're wearin' sneakers
NEVER argue
with a woman holding a torque wrench
If you're
a complainer, ride at the back of the pack so you won't contaminate the
rest of the group.
Never
try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.
The size
of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about the DEPTH of the stroke.
Home is
where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the
ground.
You'll
get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on
the front brake.
Routine
maintenance should never be neglected
It takes
more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
The only
good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
Never
be afraid to slow down.
Only Bikers
understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
Bikes
don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
Never
ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
If it
take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
Anything
that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a FAD.
Remember
that you will be judged by the Horse you rode in on.
Don't
ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
Pie and
Coffee are as important as
gasoline.
The number
of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number
of spectators.
Never
ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
Sometimes
it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.
If you
want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may
even have to shave.
Riding
faster than everyone else only guarantess you'll ride alone.
Never
hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
Never
mistake Horsepower for staying power.
A good
rider has balance, judgement, and good timing. So does a good lover.
A cold
hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe
and riding forty miles.
Never
do less then Forty miles before breakfast.
If you
don't ride in the rain-you don't ride.
A bike
on the road is worth 2 in the shop.
Respect
the person who has seen the Dark side of motorcycling and lived.
Overconfidence
can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of wrenches, and a roll of
toilet paper.
Never
offer to fight an OLD geezer. If you win, there's NO glory. If you Lose,
your reputation is shot.
A good
wrench will let you watch without charging you for it.
Advice
is free and worth every penny.
Sometimes
the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
Always
back your scoot into the curb-and sit where you can see it.
Work to
ride-Ride to work.
Whatever
it is, its better in the wind.
Two lane
blacktop isnt a highway-its an attitude.
When you
look down the road, it seems to never end-but you better believe it does.
A biker
can smell a party 5,000 miles away.
Winter
is Natures way of telling you to polish.
A motorcycle
can't sing on the streets of a city.
Keep your
bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.
People
are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
More races
were won in the tavern than on the track.
Never
loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.
If the
bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
Motorcycling
is a giant game of Mines Bigger than yours!
Remember
to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
Sometimes
the best communication happens when you're on seperate bikes.
Well-trained
reflexes are quicker than luck.
Good coffee
should be indistinquishable from 50 weight motor oil.
The best
alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.
Learn
to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.
The twisties-not
the superslabs-seperate the bikers from the squids.
Beware
the biker whose ink peels off.
New leather
don't smell right.
When you're
riding lead--don't spit.
If you
really want to know what's going on, watch whats happening at least 5 cars
ahead.
Don't
make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
If the
person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks
the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
Smoke
and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.
A friend
is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the middle
of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
If she
changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.
The thicker
your oil, the hotter you can take it.
Catchin
a June bug @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
If you
want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.
Theres
something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
You can
always hear a classic open primary-it sounds like $1.34 in change is loose
in the friction plates.
Hunger
can make even roadkill taste good.
You gotta
be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling, and dumb enough
to think the games important.
Don't
lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'.
If you
leave without one of your group, you better hope he doesn't catch
up at the next stop.
Sleep
with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.
Practice
wrenching on your own bike.
Everyone
crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
Three
things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view mirror.
Beware
the biker who says the bike never breaks down.
Some bikes
run on 99-octane ego.
Owning
2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given
time.
You'll
know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike.Don't do
it and she'll love you even more.
Don't
argue with an 18-wheeler.
Don't
lean on the horn 'til you're out of danger.
Then blast
it for all you're worth.
Never
be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
Maintenance
is as much art as it is science.
A good
long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of
gasoline.
If the
countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch
long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.
If you
can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.
If you
ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.
Bikes
parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.
If you
want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain, you better
be prepared to lead the group yourself.
Gray-haired
bikers don't get that way from pure luck.
There
are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. there are NO old,drunk bikers.
We don't
need no steenkin' weekend warriors.
Thin leather
looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go
down.
The best
modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
Always
replace the cheapest parts first.
You can
forget what you do for a livin when your knees are in the breeze.
No matter
what marque you ride, it's all the same wind.
It takes
both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One is not more important
than the other.
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