Dirty Jokes

Dirty Jokes

Here is where I keep all of Nick's jokes that he thinks up in that sick little mide of his.If you would like to contact Nick and tell him what a sick mind he has, his Email is [email protected]. Plese send any dirt jokes to [email protected]

There was this little boy who was curious about sex. So he went to his dad and asked him what a vagina looked like.

The dad says, "Well, son, before sex, a vagina looks like a pink rose, with velvety leaves and the aroma of perfume."

The boy asks, "Well, what about after sex, Daddy?"

The father replies, "After sex? Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

There was a nun and a hippie sitting next to each other in the front seat of a bus. The hippie turns to the nun and trys to pursue her to sleep with him. The nun bluntly refuses and says " i can not be with anyone sexually but god". After hours of baggering, the nun got off at her stop. The bus driver turns around to the hippie and says " i couldnt help but over hear your problem, i know for a fact that the nun goes to the cemetary every night to pray, you should dress up like a priest go to the cemetary and she wont be able to refuse you." Taking the busdrivers advise he dressed like a priest and went to the cemetary. Sure enough he saw the nun praying. He went up to her and said "i want to sleep with you i am part of god". The nun says " Well i cant refuse my lord, but i have my period so i must take it from the back" The hippie agrees and they begin to have sex. When they are done the hippie ripps off his mask and says "Ha ,Ha I fooled you I am not the priest I'm the hippie"! so the nun ripps off her mask and says

" Ya well im not the nun.......I'm the busdriver!!!!!!!!"

The racing-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.

"What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.

"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.

"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door open?'"

A man was in the restroom when an Irish man came in and stood next to him at the urinal. The first man just happened to look down and saw the man had an enormous penis. Knowing he would sound weird if he said anything, he tried to keep it in. But, he finally couldn't stand it.

"I didn't want to say anything, but you've got the biggest penis I've ever seen!"

"Well, thank you. I gave it to myself, I'm a leprechaun! I will give you three wishes if you like?"

"Sure!" said the first guy. "1st Id like an enormous mansion"

"Done, you'll wake up in it tomorrow"

"2nd I'd like a beautiful girlfriend."

"Sure, you'll wake up with her next to you in the morning."

"3rd, I'd like a penis the size of yours!"

"OK, but I will have to butt-fuck you first."

Since the guy wants all this so badly he says OK and drops his pants and bends over.

The first guy looks up and says, "I can't believe I'm gonna have a penis the size of yours!"

And the guy answers, "I cant believe you think I'm a leprechaun!"


	Dirty Jokes Here is where I keep all of Nick's jokes that he thinks up in that sick little mide of his.If you would like to contact Nick and tell him what a sick mind he has, his Email is [email protected]. Plese send any dirt jokes to [email protected] There was this little boy who was curious about sex. So he went to his dad and asked him what a vagina looked like. The dad says, "Well, son, before sex, a vagina looks like a pink rose, with velvety leaves and the aroma of perfume." The boy asks, "Well, what about after sex, Daddy?" The father replies, "After sex? Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?" There was a nun and a hippie sitting next to each other in the front seat of a bus. The hippie turns to the nun and trys to pursue her to sleep with him. The nun bluntly refuses and says " i can not be with anyone sexually but god". After hours of baggering, the nun got off at her stop. The bus driver turns around to the hippie and says " i couldnt help but over hear your problem, i know for a fact that the nun goes to the cemetary every night to pray, you should dress up like a priest go to the cemetary and she wont be able to refuse you." Taking the busdrivers advise he dressed like a priest and went to the cemetary. Sure enough he saw the nun praying. He went up to her and said "i want to sleep with you i am part of god". The nun says " Well i cant refuse my lord, but i have my period so i must take it from the back" The hippie agrees and they begin to have sex. When they are done the hippie ripps off his mask and says "Ha ,Ha I fooled you I am not the priest I'm the hippie"! so the nun ripps off her mask and says " Ya well im not the nun.......I'm the busdriver!!!!!!!!" The racing-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face. "What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked. "It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'" "What's wrong with that?" asked the driver. "Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door open?'" A man was in the restroom when an Irish man came in and stood next to him at the urinal. The first man just happened to look down and saw the man had an enormous penis. Knowing he would sound weird if he said anything, he tried to keep it in. But, he finally couldn't stand it. "I didn't want to say anything, but you've got the biggest penis I've ever seen!" "Well, thank you. I gave it to myself, I'm a leprechaun! I will give you three wishes if you like?" "Sure!" said the first guy. "1st Id like an enormous mansion" "Done, you'll wake up in it tomorrow" "2nd I'd like a beautiful girlfriend." "Sure, you'll wake up with her next to you in the morning." "3rd, I'd like a penis the size of yours!" "OK, but I will have to butt-fuck you first." Since the guy wants all this so badly he says OK and drops his pants and bends over. The first guy looks up and says, "I can't believe I'm gonna have a penis the size of yours!" And the guy answers, "I cant believe you think I'm a leprechaun!"