About the Author
Sometime near mid-1979 - I was conceived in the back of the Chevelle van in which my parents were currently taking residence.
Early 1980 - I was born, much to the relief of my mother (She says she was tired of me using her liver as a trampoline).
1984 - I got my first pair of glasses.
Sometime 1985 - My brother, who was 24 at the time, half-way severed his thumb with a rusted saw, on purpose, to make a point to me. Those ex-Marines are crazy, I tell ya. Well, he was asleep on the couch with his mouth wide open, I thought he'd like a candy bar... looking back I guess I should've woke him (before he was coughing his guts up, that is).
A month later - Big Brother moved out and went far, far away, and I haven't heard from him since.
October, 1986 - We moved. I remember the month because when we moved in the first thing we did was hook up the TV and I put it on the Garfield Halloween Special. I also remember being ecstatic because the people who lived there before left behind 4 lego pieces.
1987 - Failed 2nd grade, but the teachers decided to put me in 3rd anyway (either because of my charm, or just because I was such a pain in the arse in those days).
1988 - I passed. Don't remember much else.
1989 - That is the year I was put on Prozac, I believe.
1990 - I began seeing 2 different psychologists because they thought one wasn't enough in my case. I also took an apptitude test, the results: I was in 5th grade and had the ability to go to college. This, when added to my taking Ritalin in addition to Prozac gave people something to worry about.
1991 - Don't remember.
1992 - Failed 7th grade. It wouldn't have been so bad if they didn't bar me from going on the class field trip.
1993 - Passed 7th grade. Got to go on the field trip, too : )
1994 - Started going to a new school in which people were nicer (cuz most didn't know I was on Prozac).
Early 1995 - My house burnt down. Right on the day I needed a Prozac refill.
Two days later - My free promotional copy of Burn:Cycle for CD-I came in the mail, finally. I wonder what it's like...
Mid 1995 - Got a new house on the lake (thanks to the insurance) and passed 8th grade.
Late 1995 - Freshman in high school. Got on the honor roll the first 6 wks.
1996 - Got my Prozac dosage raised.
1997 - Changed my Prozac for more powerful medication. Same for the Ritalin. Also met the love of my life. Soon after, this website was unleashed unto unwitting public, most of which is still unwitting.
1998 - Website left untouched for a long time because my computer was a steaming load of crap. Stopped taking medication and seeing therapists. Also lost the love of my life. Where are you?
1999 - Got a new computer, updated my site, set up a search to find the love of my life.
Today - I'm writing this crap for those of you who want to know about me. Why would you want to know about me? Hell, I can't even remember 67% of my life. I think it's because of the Prozac... I'm still enjoying my computer, I set my computer's calendar ahead so Chernobyl didn't get it, I'm reconstructing my site (for both of you fans of mine) and I'm still trying to find the flower who... had a petal... with... Aw forget it. Just let me say I'd give anything to hear from her again. She might have gotten married since we met, and has a baby now, but still, I can be an uncle. Besides, if she gets divorced, well, heh heh...
Rajun' Dragon (c) 1999. All Rights Reserved. Prozac is a product of... some company that makes medicine... and... umm... yeah, and so is Ritalin. The above is meant to be funny, but everything up there has at least a grain of truth.