June 3, 2003

One of the more difficult letters I have to write to friends is to tell them I've been sick or am sick. I thought I'd better get some sort of news out to my friends before they started thinking I was ignoring them or just didn't give a damn. Here's the skivvy--

First part of April I woke up with a bad back pain. No problem. Had them before and just treated them with a heating pad and some aspirin. This one was a little different. Kept getting worse and more painful--so after about a week I went to the V.A.'s Urgent Care Center to get some help. They took a fairly extensive history and X-rays. Nothing on the x-rays to show why back was giving me trouble. The doctor perscribed a substantial amount of Vicodin and some muscle relaxers. I was certain that this would take care of it.

No such luck. After about 4 more days with the pain intensifying (the Vicodin wasn't touching it) and my ability to walk deteriorating I went back to the Urgent Care and told my story. This doctor perscribed a hefty dose of Percoset and sent me on my way. Again, I was certain that this would take care of it.

After another 4 days of worsening pain and now full leg pain (the good one), I called my primary care doctor and begged to be admitted into the hospital. At this point in time I was unable to walk more than two or three steps without having the worst pain I have ever had. Felt like the hip was broken and the knee was completely gone. It was like a white hot charcoal briquette in the hip joint and knee joint. Was informed by the doc that the V.A. doesn't admit for pain. WHAT?

I had a regular diabetes appointment and went in for that with the help of a friend who borrowed a wheelchair and volunteered to drive me there. He had knee surgery about two weeks before and we looked like a motly lot. The doc perscribed morphine and that finally eased the pain.

I've returned almost weekly for this back. So far they've not been able to find anything that should be causing this type of pain. X-ray, catscans etc show essentially normal. Now they're contemplating some sort of fluro x-ray with injection for a diagnosis. Torture to get rid of the torture. Which is worse?

Now I've gotten to the point where I can walk a limited distance with the use of a wheelchair but I'm still pretty limited in what I can do. Ride around in this friggin' wheelchair for most things. The docs have me on high dose morphine which I've begun to cut down myself. They keep saying not to worry about addiction because they're watching me but I don't think they're watching close enough. Figure that I'll take just enough of this stuff to control the pain and just adapt to having some of it.

Damn, life can sure deal you some lemons, huh? But as I always say, "When life gives you lemons, take the best damn drugs that you can pry from the doctor's RX pad. I've just begun to sit at the computer for more than 10-15 minutes so I'll try to be more responsive in the future. Hope you're all well and healthy.