Blonde jokes! (lol)
These blonde jokes are only directed at females so if you’re a blonde male, don't get offended it isn't a shot at blonde men just blonde women. Although if any of you blonde women get offended don't cause it is only meant to be a joke so clam down and put get your feet behind your ears get down on the ground shut-up and take a good old fashioned shag cause that’s all your worth!
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles
Q: How do blondes turn on the light after sex?
A: Open the car door.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: What did the blonde cheerleader say?
A: give me a 'g' give me a.... how do you spell go?
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
W?" A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and the squared root of 60
Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your fridge?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde stuck in a trap
A: chewed off her left leg and was still stuck.
Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
How blonde was she?? She was soooooooooooooo blonde...
... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
... she thought a quarterback was a refund.
... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.
... she thought Eartha Kit was a set of garden tools.
... she thought General Motors was in the Army.
... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
... she thought 2-Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
... she tried to drown a fish.
... she tripped over a cordless phone.
... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it
said "concentrate".
... she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".
... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".
... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
... it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes".
... she studied for a blood test-and failed.
... she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train".
... she sold the car for gas money.
... when she saw the movie rating "NC-17: under 17 not admitted", she went home and got 16
friends.
... when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
... she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
... when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
... when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and
went home.
... she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Seriously though if any of these do offended you please let me know (e-mail me at
[email protected]) . If anyone has some jokes they know tell me at the same address and I'll put them up with full credit for you!