EVEN MORE BLONDE JOKES!!!!

 

Q:Why is a blonde like a door knob?

A: Because everybody gets a turn.

 

Q:Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?

A:Because she's been laid all over the country.

 

Q:Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes?

A:Because at 69 they blow.

 

Q:Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?

A:They both drip when they're fucked.

 

Q:How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun

worry worry worry"

A:Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

 

Q:A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut

it in six or twelve pieces.

A:"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

 

Q:What is the similarity between a smart blond woman, Santa and

the tooth fairy?

A:They are all make believe.

 

Q:How do you tell if a blonde woman is sexually satisfied?

A:Who cares.

 

Q:What do you do when a blonde woman throws a grenade at you?

A:Pull the pin and throw it back.

 

Q:How do you drown a blonde?

A:Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

 

Q:What do turtles and blondes have in common?

A:Once there on their back they're screwed.

 

Q:how do you know a blonde been on your computer all night?

A:there is cheese all over your mouse.

 

Q:What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?

A:All you can eat under a buck.

 

Q:How can you tell when a blonde has just eaten?

A:The belt buckle marks on her forehead.

 

Q:What is the difference between a blonde women and all men?

A:The blonde women have the higher sperm count.

 

Q:What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?

A:A blonde serves more people in a night.

 

Q:What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

A:A refrigerator doesn't whine when you pull your meat out of it.

 

Q:What do you call a virgin blonde?

A1:A myth

A2:A newborn

 

Q:What do you call a blonde that can suck a golfball through a

water hose?

A:Sweetheart!

 

Even the Russians have blonde jokes (told after the coup attempt):

Q:What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?

A:They both got fucked by ten men while on vacation

 

Q:What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?

A:He knows who the ten men were.

 

 

Q:How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?

Q:Tell her a joke on Friday.

 

Q:What do you call a smart blonde?

A:A golden retriever

 

Q:What is the difference between a smart blonde woman and a UFO?

A:There have been sightings of UFOs.

 

Q:How do you know a blonde has robbed your house?

A:There is a note where the microwave used to be that says

"Thanks for the TV!!"

 

Q:How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day?

A:Give her a bottle of shampoo that says "Lather, rinse, repeat".

 

Q:How do you confuse a blonde?

A1:You don't. They're born that way.

A2:Put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner.

 

Q:How do you drown a blonde?

A:Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.

 

Q:How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A:Wave.

 

Q:How do blondes count?

A:1,2,3,another,another,another...

 

Q:How did the blonde get hurt raking leaves?

A:She fell out of the tree.

 

Q:Why did the blonde pee on the floor?

A:Because the sign said "Wet Floor"