More blonde jokes!
A blonde went to her mailbox several times way before it was time
for the mailman to make his rounds.
A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she
was waiting for a special delivery.
"No," she replied, "My computer keeps telling me I have mail."
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: A blond going to London on a plane,
how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all
in the middle row.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.
The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie".
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: How do blonde brain cells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
Q: Why did the blonde have square tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde.
They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early.
So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left,
they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they.
The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early
start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a
quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went
home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly
and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door
and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about
going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave
early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.
Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear,
wondering what she did with her pencil.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and asked another blonde,
"How do you do that?" She responded . . .
"Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!"
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces her self.
A2: Walks home.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don't know.
A3: Neither did she.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo",
while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: Why did the blonde quit her job as a restroom attendant?
A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is
having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a
beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to
shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband,
"Shut up... you're next!"