Sandra Lee Boothe Yolles
Sandy was my baby sister, my best friend and confident, and the person I could always count on. We were close. By 1975, we were the only ones left in our family besides my children and our aunts. Our parents died in the mid-1960s (both from cancer, as did our grandfathers). Sandy was careful to be on the lookout for the dreaded disease: she went faithfully every six months for a mammogram and check up, kept in good shape by exercising and diet. We both were naturally concerned about cancer, but by keeping a good look out for it, hoped to prevent it from getting a "foothold." She lived in "the present", though, just in case. We talked about enjoying life and not putting things off until some future time... she did that, and gave a lot of people some wonderful memories over the 50 years we were lucky enough to have her with us.
Here are some reflections on the year anniversary of her death. I am trying to keep the happier times in mind, keeping that memory alive in my heart somehow is a way to keep her with me. I still cannot believe she is gone and keep hoping I will wake up with the phone ringing and find her on the other end...and laugh with a sigh of relief that none of this really happened. I miss her so much.
Growing up: we grew up in a military environment (Army Brats), moving every three year or so, from Virginia to Georgia to Italy and Baltimore and DC in between. Sandy hated moving and losing friends but loved making new ones. She was quiet and shy early on, (but very stubborn) -- We traveled a lot, sharing the back seat of the car, pillows, a room, and a lot of great times.
I cannot remember ever having an argument with Sandy, which, from what my friends told me, was unusual (they always were fighting with sisters and brothers, but we never did). I remember Sandy as my #1 cheer leader and admirer -always cheering me up, and always supportive- when I was afraid to sell the neighbors the cookies for my girl scout troop, she was the one who would buy that first box, or the first magazine subscription, or the candle for some other fund raising event. She and I would commiserate about having to clean our rooms ("inspection") on Saturday mornings before allowance, or the general unfairness of "whatever." Mainly, she was there for me and I for her.
My earliest memories of Sandy include our playing with our pets (we had several dogs (Fuzzy, a "sort of" shepherd and Dal, our first Dalmatian, were two) but no cats, some birds, colored Easter ducks (real ones that were so fuzzy and we loved so much...). We had a horse - Little Man - when we were in Georgia. She loved to ride and take care of him. Had to give him up when we moved to DC. I think that horse is why she went to Transylvania College in Lexington, KY - she wanted to be near and around horses. She maintained her love of "the West" and horses until she died - her friends recognized that, too, and gave her some neat gifts around that theme.
I also remember all the holiday times, family gatherings, and vacations we had together. When we were younger, Mom would make us wear twin outfits (which we both hated!), but Sandy individualized her red silk dress with an army belt and tennis shoes. When we lived in Europe, we had collections (spoons, cups, mugs, teddy bears) that we enjoyed sharing with each other. We used to play a lot of cards and chess together then.
Sandy was stubborn - if she did not get her way, she would "run away." Mom would pack us a lunch and get me to "run away" with her; after the cooling off period, she would want to go home and forget about whatever had made her angry. However, she did not bear any grudges! The only time I saw her in a mean mood was if you woke her up on a Saturday morning.... (During the week, we got a wet washcloth if we forgot to wake up quick enough...might have been one good reason!)
Fishing & crabbing: We lived four years in Fort Monroe, VA, and we fished and crabbed a lot off a pier near our home. Sandy had her own fishing rod and often would go up to the "sea wall" and catch us some breakfast, and even cook it!
Softball and Golf: Two other loves in Sandy's life: she was always a great athlete!
Cooking: Although this is not a sport, but she treated it like one - and she was fantastic at her specialties, too. I remember one funny time when she made a new kind of pizza - the recipe called for 3 cloves of garlic. She put in three bulbs (and that way found out the difference!).
Random Thoughts: Sandy was one of the most thoughtful and caring people anyone could ever know. She always had time to listen to someone's troubles and, if asked, give her honest opinion. She genuinely felt concern for so many, gave a card or remembrance to me for every birthday, (I still have most of them, too!), as well as for many of her friends. Even her last days, she was concerned about me and about her friends. She would insist I go home before dark because she knew I could not see as well as days gone by...she worried that Lynda would get enough sleep. And she was appreciative and thankful for her good friends and all they were doing to help her, all their concern. Mary and Kathy were taking care of her yard one day and Sandy was talking with me on the phone about it - what wonderful friends, what a great job they were doing, and..."Oh, how I wish I could be out there with them." We all hoped so much that would happen, that all these treatments would result in just that and we'd see Sandy pushing that rake and mowing that lawn, taking time out to wipe off some sweat and sip a beer and laugh a little.
Now, those things and more are left in our memories. So many people loved Sandy and remember her. But when does the hurt of her being gone lessen? The last few months, she would ask me if I thought she would get better. We talked about an afterlife and what we believed about that, and I told her of my vision, so detached, so careful not to frighten her - I was so afraid but wanted to give her some comfort. I hope I did.
Sandy's loving sister,
Charlene