Hey, look what I found in the trash here; more mail from that weird fic person! Naia-san must've pushed "delete" by mistake.
Out of mercy seems more likely. . .
*looks up from her reading* You shouldn't just take things, Seiya. Stealing mail is a federal crime!
I didn't steal it! It was addressed to us, after all.
Well, I want no part of it.
*skimming mail* You're sure? She seems to favour you!
I'm afraid to ask what she does to us. . .
You don't have to; I'm gonna tell you anyway!
I'm Loretta, the girl who sent the weird suggestions for fanfiction.
Our fanmail is from an evil doll?
Great, only three people in the world will get that reference. . .
I wanted to say that I do understand that the Lights really aren't like they are in my stories, I just like to pretend.
Wrong show! You want the "Pretender" fanmail section, just below ours. *points*
Here are other changes I made: 1) Taiki:
*ears perk up*
She is 9 feet tall, extremely muscular, and has an IQ of a million.
At eleven?
I thought you wanted no part of this.
That was before I heard these changes. *raises eyebrow* Nine
feet tall? That's excessive. I'm not wholly comfortable with
my real height, much less nine feet of it!
The muscles, I'd guess, are in reparation for some
perceived weakness? I appreciate the gesture, but it's really unnecessary.
The three of us are all quite strong already, even if we look puny by human
standards.
Let's just say, if you were trapped under an overturned car, any one of us could get you out single-handed! *flexes* That's how strong we are!
And a million IQ, I'm afraid to say, is impossible.
So is three hundred.
Mizuno Ami's purported IQ? *snorts* I'm sure no-one has proven it.
And if they did, Taiki would swear hers was three hundred ten!
She always wears casual, rather sloppy clothes.
*sweatdrops* You're sure you're not thinking of Seiya instead? She's the sloppy one.
HEY!
I also write you as being a 10 on that reserved-scale,
See? Told you!
but also loving to exercise. In my stories, you never show emotion.
I'm not adverse to exercise; I make perfect grades, even in gym class!
Just because I prefer reading or writing poems doesn't mean I'm useless
at sports, you know.
And as to emotion, well, I'll admit I'm rather reserved
in that area. . .
It's 'cause she's part Vulcan!
*scowls* No, Vulcans are dull and uncharismatic. I just know how to control myself, that's all. You would do well to follow my example.
2) Yaten: She is only 2 feet tall!
*crackling with angry green energy* A SHORT JOKE?
*holding Yaten back* Calm down, girl! She's exaggerating all of us!
I don't care if humans think I'm rude, or stuck-up, or even (somehow) unattractive, but short jokes definitely cross the line!
*sweatdrops* She's sensitive about that, I'm afraid. . .
3) Seiya: She is the one who wears very thick glasses.
Nah, Taiki's the one who looks good in glasses. I'd just look like Harry Potter.
And who said mine were "very thick?"
Taiki and Yaten do not wear glasses.
*shrugs* Not like I did to begin with.
So ka, another adjustment you've made to repair a perceived weakness? Again, I appreciate the gesture, but it really isn't necessary. The glasses are used symbolically to indicate high intelligence, but I don't need them. My vision is fine.
Oh yeah? *snatches Taiki's glasses and holds the fanmail a metre away* Then what's this next line say?
*squinting* And Seiya's. . . going to be pretty someday. . . but IRWIN won't make your doll, so--
*returns them with a smug look* I rest my case.
*puts glasses back on* I don't understand. The Materials Collection said--
Yeah, yeah, and it also gave you a "Music Box" attack. You gonna believe everything you read in there?
Well, regardless of whether I need them or not, glasses don't make me any worse a character. They're just something I wear, like my clothing. They don't change whether I'm cool or not as a character.
Speak for yourself, Taiki! I know I'd be way less cool in glasses.
And that perception is exactly why she did it.
Just wait, it gets worse!
And Seiya, you are going to be pretty upset about this, but I write you as an overly emotional girl
*shrugs* I've been accused of that.
who is really, really stupid and gets in fights with Yaten and Sailor Moon.
Now that I take exception to! I might not have a million IQ, but I can be smart!
When she applies herself. . .
When I argue with my friends it's 'cause of stress and circumstances. And if I ever fought with Sailor Moon, it was 'cause I didn't know she was Odango at the time. I'd never do anything to hurt her if I knew.
I also write you as a girl who cries a lot and needs Taiki's protection,
She does require protection, but more from herself than any outside threats. I swear she'll trust any pretty face that comes along!
and I make you be lovers with Hotaru.
Still not my type. If I can't have Odango, can't you at least find a way to write me with Kakyuu-princess? *blushes* She's my original unrequited love.
Just to repeat, I do understand that you're not really like that, I'm not trying to start any dumb rumors. I'm just writing you the way I prefer you. That's the fun thing about writing; getting to make things be the way you want them. I'm writing a rewritten version of Sailorstars in which I use these changes (not the height ones, I save those for my regular stories) because I always thought it would be better with those changes.
*eyebrow twitches* You prefer me as a weak little nerd?
On Naia-san's page? Believe me, we know about fic writers' liberties! But rewriting the whole series, changing the characters and relationships that don't meet your approval? You remind me of those people on that merchandise page--
*panics and quickly covers Yaten's mouth* You can't say that; that page is popular! You wanna get us all flamed or something?
*sweatdrops* Gomen, looks like this might never be resolved. Admirable try, however.
*dragging Yaten out of the room before she can blurt out the offending web page*
©2002 Naia Zifu Addressee of this fanmail may link to
this page, but all other use prohibited without permission.
Three Lights are Sailor Moon characters I own no rights to, and
as always I'm not trying to make money off anyone else's ideas. Naia
Zifu, however, is my creation in name, image, and persona.
The opinions expressed in fanmail replies are my own, although I
try to present them in a way the characters might if they were real.
I stand by all stated opinions just as firmly as if they were fact.