The Fic Writer Tries To Explain. . .


Seiya    Hey, look what I found in the trash here; more mail from that weird fic person!  Naia-san must've pushed "delete" by mistake.

Yaten    Out of mercy seems more likely. . .

Taiki    *looks up from her reading*  You shouldn't just take things, Seiya.  Stealing mail is a federal crime!

Seiya    I didn't steal it!  It was addressed to us, after all.

Taiki    Well, I want no part of it.

Seiya    *skimming mail*  You're sure?  She seems to favour you!

Yaten    I'm afraid to ask what she does to us. . .

Seiya    You don't have to; I'm gonna tell you anyway!

I'm Loretta, the girl who sent the weird suggestions for fanfiction.

Yaten    Our fanmail is from an evil doll?

Seiya    Great, only three people in the world will get that reference. . .

I wanted to say that I do understand that the Lights really aren't like they are in my stories, I just like to pretend.

Seiya    Wrong show!  You want the "Pretender" fanmail section, just below ours.  *points*

Here are other changes I made:  1) Taiki:

Taiki    *ears perk up*

She is 9 feet tall, extremely muscular, and has an IQ of a million.

Taiki    At eleven?

Seiya    I thought you wanted no part of this.

Taiki    That was before I heard these changes.  *raises eyebrow*  Nine feet tall?  That's excessive.  I'm not wholly comfortable with my real height, much less nine feet of it!
    The muscles, I'd guess, are in reparation for some perceived weakness?  I appreciate the gesture, but it's really unnecessary.  The three of us are all quite strong already, even if we look puny by human standards.

Seiya    Let's just say, if you were trapped under an overturned car, any one of us could get you out single-handed!  *flexes*  That's how strong we are!

Taiki    And a million IQ, I'm afraid to say, is impossible.

Seiya    So is three hundred.

Taiki    Mizuno Ami's purported IQ?  *snorts*  I'm sure no-one has proven it.

Yaten    And if they did, Taiki would swear hers was three hundred ten!

She always wears casual, rather sloppy clothes.

Taiki    *sweatdrops*  You're sure you're not thinking of Seiya instead?  She's the sloppy one.

Seiya    HEY!

I also write you as being a 10 on that reserved-scale,

Yaten    See?  Told you!

but also loving to exercise.  In my stories, you never show emotion.

Taiki    I'm not adverse to exercise; I make perfect grades, even in gym class! Just because I prefer reading or writing poems doesn't mean I'm useless at sports, you know.
    And as to emotion, well, I'll admit I'm rather reserved in that area. . .

Yaten    It's 'cause she's part Vulcan!

Taiki    *scowls*  No, Vulcans are dull and uncharismatic.  I just know how to control myself, that's all.  You would do well to follow my example.

2) Yaten: She is only 2 feet tall!

Yaten    *crackling with angry green energy*  A SHORT JOKE?

Seiya    *holding Yaten back*  Calm down, girl!  She's exaggerating all of us!

Yaten    I don't care if humans think I'm rude, or stuck-up, or even (somehow) unattractive, but short jokes definitely cross the line!

Seiya    *sweatdrops*  She's sensitive about that, I'm afraid. . .

3) Seiya: She is the one who wears very thick glasses.

Seiya    Nah, Taiki's the one who looks good in glasses.  I'd just look like Harry Potter.

Taiki    And who said mine were "very thick?"

Taiki and Yaten do not wear glasses.

Yaten    *shrugs*  Not like I did to begin with.

Taiki    So ka, another adjustment you've made to repair a perceived weakness?  Again, I appreciate the gesture, but it really isn't necessary.  The glasses are used symbolically to indicate high intelligence, but I don't need them.  My vision is fine.

Yaten    Oh yeah?  *snatches Taiki's glasses and holds the fanmail a metre away*  Then what's this next line say?

Taiki    *squinting*  And Seiya's. . . going to be pretty someday. . .  but IRWIN won't make your doll, so--

Yaten    *returns them with a smug look*  I rest my case.

Taiki    *puts glasses back on*  I don't understand.  The Materials Collection said--

Yaten    Yeah, yeah, and it also gave you a "Music Box" attack.  You gonna believe everything you read in there?

Taiki    Well, regardless of whether I need them or not, glasses don't make me any worse a character.  They're just something I wear, like my clothing.  They don't change whether I'm cool or not as a character.

Seiya    Speak for yourself, Taiki!  I know I'd be way less cool in glasses.

Taiki    And that perception is exactly why she did it.

Yaten    Just wait, it gets worse!

And Seiya, you are going to be pretty upset about this, but I write you as an overly emotional girl

Seiya    *shrugs*  I've been accused of that.

who is really, really stupid and gets in fights with Yaten and Sailor Moon.

Seiya    Now that I take exception to!  I might not have a million IQ, but I can be smart!

Taiki    When she applies herself. . .

Seiya    When I argue with my friends it's 'cause of stress and circumstances.  And if I ever fought with Sailor Moon, it was 'cause I didn't know she was Odango at the time.  I'd never do anything to hurt her if I knew.

 I also write you as a girl who cries a lot and needs Taiki's protection,

Taiki    She does require protection, but more from herself than any outside threats.  I swear she'll trust any pretty face that comes along!

and I make you be lovers with Hotaru.

Seiya    Still not my type.  If I can't have Odango, can't you at least find a way to write me with Kakyuu-princess?  *blushes*  She's my original unrequited love.

Just to repeat, I do understand that you're not really like that, I'm not trying to start any dumb rumors.  I'm just writing you the way I prefer you.  That's the fun thing about writing; getting to make things be the way you want them.  I'm writing a rewritten version of Sailorstars in which I use these changes (not the height ones, I save those for my regular stories) because I always thought it would be better with those changes.

Seiya    *eyebrow twitches*  You prefer me as a weak little nerd?

Yaten    On Naia-san's page?  Believe me, we know about fic writers' liberties!  But rewriting the whole series, changing the characters and relationships that don't meet your approval?  You remind me of those people on that merchandise page--

Seiya    *panics and quickly covers Yaten's mouth*  You can't say that; that page is popular!  You wanna get us all flamed or something?

Taiki    *sweatdrops*  Gomen, looks like this might never be resolved.  Admirable try, however.

Seiya    *dragging Yaten out of the room before she can blurt out the offending web page*

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©2002 Naia Zifu  Addressee of this fanmail may link to this page, but all other use prohibited without permission.
Three Lights are Sailor Moon characters I own no rights to, and as always I'm not trying to make money off anyone else's ideas.  Naia Zifu, however, is my creation in name, image, and persona.
The opinions expressed in fanmail replies are my own, although I try to present them in a way the characters might if they were real.  I stand by all stated opinions just as firmly as if they were fact.