Rosemary's Diary
December 1 Tomorrow is the second day of December. That means my ceremony
will be tomorrow, and I will receive my assignment. I am feeling… what is the
word?… apprehensive. My father says that is natural, but I still should not
worry. The council rarely picks the incorrect assignment for a person. December 2 This afternoon I felt more concern and fear than I had ever
before in my life. During the giving out of the Assignments the Chief Elder
skipped over my number! At first, I believed that a terrible had been made.
Had I mistaken my number, or perhaps the Chief Elder had made the mistake?
Had I not been given an Assignment? In the end, after all the other numbers had been called, the
Chief Elder apologized to me. The reason she had waited to give me my
Assignment last was because of the great honour it held. I was to be the
Community’s new Receiver-of-Memories. I was surprised! This was a great honour, but I was not certain I
was properly prepared for it. The Assignment involved great pain, pain that I
could not seek relief by medication for. When I arrived back at my family unit’s dwelling, I looked over
my folder. It contained only one sheet, as compared to some Twelves’ who had
been given very thick ones. On the sheet were seven rules. The last disturbed
me: You may lie. Why would I ever need to lie? December 4 As I did yesterday, I went straight to the Annex for my training
session with Father- I mean the Giver. Today my training truly had begun, as
I received my first memory. I lay on the bed, and the Giver touched my back. He gave me a
memory of an animal, one he called a kitten. Then I received a picnic. I
desperately wanted more memories, but the Giver said not today. December 25 Once more today, as I have for the past week, I begged the Giver
for memories. I have enough happy ones now. I believe I should start
receiving the truly important memories from back and back and back. I want
the memories that burden him so much. However, the Giver responded identically to every other time.
"Not yet, Rosemary. Not until I think you’re ready." January 7 Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the day I started receiving.
Today, as always, I asked when I would receive the grave memories. I expected
the same answer as always, but my expectations were mistaken.
"Tomorrow," came the greatly anticipated answer. Oh, tomorrow, hurry up! I want to begin taking on my
responsibility to my Community. January 8 I will not be long tonight, for I am suffering horridly. I took a
memory of hunger today, and never had I ever felt anything more terrible. My
father- the Giver is a strong man to bear this. January 14 Today it was neglect. Yesterday it was poverty. The day before
yesterday was fear. Before that was prejudice. The Giver tries to end my
training sessions with memories of happiness, to lighten the burden I now
carry, but I still feel dragged down by the weight of these horrors. I am rapidly losing hope of my ability to continue to cope with
these trails. There is more of the same, and worse, left to come. What if I
cannot bear them? January 17 Today I received loneliness. To be alone, abandoned, is more than
I can shoulder. I write this diary entry as I walk along the side of the
riverbank. This has been my special place, where I go to think alone.
Imagine, wanting to be alone! Never again, never again. I go now to the Chief
Elder to ask for Release. I fear Elsewhere significantly less than I fear
more loneliness. January 24 I am the Giver, the cause of my sweet Rosemary’s death. I am
finishing her found diary because I believe it is my responsibility. I gave
her more than she could bear, but she had excepted the responsibility. I wish
she hadn’t. I could feel love, because I had gained it in my memories. I felt
love for my daughter. After her release, something unexpected happened. The memories
she had acquired flooded out into the regular citizens. The emergency has
passed now, and we must begin to think of a new Receiver, for I am aging with
every day. We will watch one of the Twos very closely, so we do not make the
same mistake we did with Rosemary. Jonas, please grow to a Twelve and a good
Receiver. ~~**~~ Feedback is always welcome. Send it to [email protected] |