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Disclaimer: I don't own Molson beer or the commercial. I
also don't own Dragon Ball Z or its characters. Author's Notes: A sequel to "The Saiyan Rant".
Dayna suggested that this fic be done. This is dedicated to all you DBZ
humour fans! The Namek Rant Goku: *bows* Thank you. *steps off the stage* *People get up from their seats and start to leave.* Piccolo: *in the back of the audience* I could do better
than that... Dende: Then go up there! You'd make all of us Nameks
proud. *Piccolo flies up to the stage and grabs the microphone.* Piccolo: Wait! Everyone, I have something to say- Crowd: *gets back in their seats* *chanting* Speech!
Speech! Speech! Piccolo: Will you all shut up?! *The crowd falls silent.* Piccolo: Alright. Now, I'm not a monster or a
demon. I live in the desert, drink water and own a turban. I know
Dende, Nail, and Kami from Namek, and I'm certain that they are very
nice. I have an elder, not a president. I pronounce it
"hell", not "HFIL". I can't sew anything. I
believe in sparring, not studying; regeneration, not amputation, and that
green is a proud and noble colour. A cape is a weight. An egg is
a means of reproduction. And it's "Makankosappo", OK, not
"the beam cannon", Makankpsappo. Namek was a planet, the
holder of the healers, and is the first nation of the dragon balls. My
name is Piccolo, and I am a Namek! *Silence. A cricket chirps.* Vegeta: You really screwed that one up, green man! Goku: At least I like it. Even though he used one of
my lines. *Piccolo smacks himself on the head.* The End Additional Author's Notes: Joe, for those readers who haven't
seen the first one, can you recite it again? Joe: I'm really tired of doing this... Do it, or else I sic Vegeta on you. And probably even
Piccolo. Joe: Eep. "I'm not a lumberjack or a fur
trader. I don't live in an igloo, eat blubber or own a dogsled. I
don't know Jimmy, Suzie or Sally from Canada, although I'm certain they're
very nice. I have a prime minister, not a president. I speak
English and French, not American. And I pronounce it "a-bout"
not "a-boot." I can proudly sew my country's flag on my
backpack. I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not
assimilation, and that the beaver is a proud and noble animal. A toque
is a hat. A chesterfield is a couch. And it's pronounced Zed, OK,
not Zee, Zed. Canada is the second-largest land mass, the first nation
of hockey and the best part of North America. My name is Joe and I am
Canadian. Thank you." *mutters* Can't come up with a new
0line for pronunciation. That's it! Vegeta! Piccolo! That's the guy who
started this whole thing! Vegeta: You won't escape... MY WRATH!!! Piccolo: Yo' gonna get whack, fo'! *Joe runs, screaming, while Vegeta and Piccolo chase him.* If you haven't seen the commercial yet, I suggest you get a
satellite dish that receives Canadian channels. Or suffer the same fate
as Joe! |