Disclaimer: Kat, Chakotay and Voyager belong to Paramount, the song is Emilias, but the story is mine!
Author's note: I think it's a sequel to "Why?", but I'm not sure. I have to thank you Jenna for betareading this story for me.
time: 4 to 6 weeks after "Why?"
I woke up with tears in my eyes. Why had this happened yesterday? Why had we argued? And now, was it possibly time for me to go to the bridge and work normally with him? These thoughts were in my head while I showered and took a new uniform from my locker. I replicated a light breakfast for myself; I did not have enough courage to go to Neelix and possibly meet Chakotay there. Then, after taking a deep breath, I made my way to bridge.
He was sitting on his place when I arrived. A greeting, fast and icy, then I fled into my ready room. Why do I miss his jokes so much? He had done something horrible last night, but why was I so fast in forgiving him?
But no, he had started, and I wanted this child as much as he did. Perhaps more? What right has he to repoach me about anything? I rolled over on my couch some time later and I realized that my face was wet with tears and my nose was plugged. Then I heard the door bell. "One moment!" I could hear by myself that my voice was not very strong and I dried my tears fast.
Now that I felt a bit more 'captain', I was able to face everyone, nearly everyone. But it was Chakotay standing in my door and I had to let him in, didn't I? "Captain?" A bad sign. When was the last time he called me 'Captain' in privacy? Where was the familiar Kat? "Yes, Commander?" My voice was not friendly, but I knew that he would understand my feelings, thinking I would be in his arms again, but this was not possible at that moment. Not after the last night. "The newest report," he said, and gave me a PADD. Our fingers touched, and I closed my eyes.
Somewhere inside I hoped to feel his arm around me again, but when I opened my eyes again, he was gone. NO! Why had it worked out this way? Some time ago everything seemed to be so happy and now it was over. But I thought I had to be Captain of Voyager, even if my heart told me something else. It seemed as if he could live without me, so I raised myself and steped onto the bridge.
Please, mail me!