Script Segments 4-15-97 Star Trek Voyager Episode : Coda Adaptation by Patti Keiper Written by Jeri Taylor Chapter Nine -------------------------------------------------------------------- It was impossible..... Her father was gone. He was a memory sixty eight thousand light years away. Her demeanor was cautiously defensive, "Who are you? Are you responsible for what's going on here?" The apparition spread his hands, "You know who I am, Kathryn." Kathryn bristled, "My father died over fifteen years ago." "Yes. Drowned under the polar ice cap on Tau Ceti Prime." His voice was calm and filled with familiarity, "It was devastating to you." A small part deep inside Janeway relived the worst moment of her life. Her father and fiance had both been aboard the same prototype ship with her when a wind shear caused it to plummet into the ocean only minutes after takeoff. She had been thrown clear of the debris but had to transport them safely away before the rest of the ship sank beneath the dark waters of the sea...it was if her soul had been dragged down with them into death. 'Oh, Mark.....' she mentally cried. Now this man claimed to be her daddy...it was obscene. Kathryn showed she was unconvinced, "You may be an hallucination, or some kind of projection, or my own imagination." The pain sharpened, "But you are not my father......" Her lip trembled. Her daddy stepped forward taking her by the shoulders, "Kathryn,.. Kathryn..." he soothed, "I raised you to be a doubter and a skeptic; to look at the world with a scientist's eye. But, in this instance,.. that won't work." Kathryn studied the familiar creases of his face and asked, "Why not? If you know what's really going on here, tell me.." He let her go. His eyes held genuine concern, "Isn't it clear? You're dead. You died in that shuttle crash." A memory peeled like an onion in the back of her mind. She remembered the impact and hitting her head on her console. The blinding pain made her stagger out of her seat. She tried to reach Chakotay, out cold over the conn, but dizziness made her fall onto the floor. A choking fog sealed off her throat and she began to suffocate... No air... The gas leak was above her.. She had to get away from it.. She had to... Pain! In her chest.....She couldn't breathe.. She couldn't mov-- Then came blackness.... Janeway held up a hand, "No,..no,..no. That's not possible..." she hesitated, her memories suddenly all a jumble in her mind. Her father spoke, "I understand your confusion, your refusal to accept what has happened. I went through the same thing after my accident." "What do you mean?" She wanted to know. He thought carefully over his next words, "I went back to you and your mother, and your sister for a long time after I died,... until I realized it was futile. That's what happens when death is unexpected. One's consciousness isn't prepared to let go." Kathryn was startled to see that his eyes were gray. Her father's eyes had been blue,....hadn't they? She didn't want those details to be clouded already. Unconsciously, she studied her hands, fidgeting with her fingers. She looked up, "Consciousness? Is that what you are calling me? Kathryn's consciousness...?" He dismissed her point, "For want of a better word. Some say ghost or spirit. We've all heard the stories, and thought they were the product of vivid imaginations or self induced hysteria. I'll admit, ...I was surprised to find that they were true." Kathryn narrowed her eyes, "If you stayed with me after you died, you should be able to tell me what happened then.." Her father thought back, his expression a little distant, "You were so grief stricken, you fell into a terrible depression. You spent months in bed, sleeping away your days rather than confronting your feelings. I'm not sure what would have happened if your sister hadn't forced you into the real world again." "If you're an hallucination, a part of me, you'd know these things." she reasoned. Her father looked at Janeway intently, in tight focus, "Kathryn, remember. Several times after I had died, you woke up, thinking I was in the room with you. You told your sister it felt absolutely real. That's because it WAS real. I was there, trying to convince you to get on with your life." That hit a little too close to home... Kathryn blinked, and hid her reaction. She put her hands on her hips, "Just for the sake of argument, let's say you're right. What's next?" He shrugged, "That's up to you...Eventually, you will cross over. The only question is how long it'll take you to give up THIS world." She frowned, remembering her theory from the planet, "Cross over to where?" She felt very uncertain. "I don't know what to call it.....another state of consciousness unlike anything we ever could have imagined in life..." He searched her eyes deeply, "It's not a frightening place, Kathryn. It's full of joy and indescribable wonder." Janeway felt herself half believing him...and it hurt. Her ties to her crew were so strong... She'd feel guilty moving on to a better existence before she saw them home. 'What a bizzarre statement.' she thought. The whole situtation was still just a little beyond her complete understanding.. She twisted away from him, denying what she had learned, She turned to her engineering staff, indicating each one, "Kes sensed I was here.. They're looking for me!.." she insisted. Her father was gentle, "People have felt the presence of ghosts throughtout the ages,..but the technology to find them still hasn't been invented.." Kathryn felt a pang as she watched her crew trying to find her. She could almost feel their tumultuous emotions like a raw, tender ache, "They won't give up easily." "But they will eventually." he added softly, "They'll accept what has happened.... And that's what you have to do." Janeway turned to face him, sudden determination set in her tone, "Kes did it once. She can do it again.... I'm going to help her." She was surprised her father offered her no resistance, "If that's what you feel you have to do, I understand." Captain Janeway looked at him searchingly for a long moment, almost lost in his brilliantly sapphire eyes..... Then she broke free. Janeway left engineering... ------------------------------------------------------------------ The stars shone through the window and illuminated Tuvok's quarters with a soft light. Kes was with him in a meld. Kathryn was beside them, very close.. Tuvok began, "Let us try one more time.." his breathing slowed, "Open yourself to the impressions around you; the thoughts, ...the minds that are on this ship." he broadened her scope, "All the minds that are on this ship.." Kes smiled, her eyes closed in concentration, "I hear them. So many voices.." She felt joy in their presence. "They are a turbulent storm and you are the one who must rise above the tempest...to a place that is quiet." All of the sudden, Kes was reliving the time with the captain in sickbay, when she had lost her... Kes' forehead furrowed, her mind slipping, "It is difficult." Tuvok reasserted her focal point, and suppressed her rising discomfort, "You must lift yourself from the confusion of the storm. Soar,... into the quiet place among the stars, where everything is still." She relaxed under the balming effect of Tuvok's mind. Kes felt herself leap as if from a height. She was free... "Yes, I am in that place now." The Vulcan threw her a life line, directing her, "Is there a voice that you can hear? A single voice, isolated in the stillness?" Kathryn willed her heart to Kes, reaching, "Kes, I'm here. Focus on me; on my voice..." She held her breath. Tuvok finetuned his link, helping Kes' search with words, "There are only two beings in the void. You,.. and Captain Janeway... Nothing else exists that can interfere. Can you hear her voice? However faintly?" Kes stretched, questing for the warmth of Kathryn's mind, "I'm trying." Tuvok encouraged her, sensing a proper broadening, "Is there anything?.. Any presence in the void with you??" Kathryn poured out her whole being into believing. Her sense of self pressed into a single point. Kes faltered. Her features flickering into doubt, "I don't think so... I can't hear anything." Frustration muddied her voice. Captain Janeway pushed a little further, "Kes, keep trying.... You have to fi--" Tuvok's voice knifed through Janeway's thought, "Now I am with you, .. moving through the quiet space. My thoughts join with yours....extending the range of the search." Kathryn shifted, focusing on her dearest friend, "Tuvok. Surely you must know I'm here...We've shared so much.." The Vulcan was impassive...until-- Kes broke away, upsetting Tuvok's hand placement. "I'm just not getting anything..." she sighed in impatience. The guise of serenity faded from Tuvok's features, "Nor am I." "It felt empty..." Kes looked down, despondant, "Alone.." She took a quick breath and suddenly felt self conscious at Tuvok's scrutiny. Then she knew. .. Kes stopped denying the very thing she had been running from. "Maybe you're right. What I sensed wasn't the captain...It was me wanting to believe she wasn't dead." Tuvok couldn't fault Kes' logic about her emotion. She had become distressed over her realization which was a sign that she was closer to acceptance. There remained only clarification of the truth, "We have been trying for three days..without success. Nor have Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim found any indication that the captain is alive..... There is a point at which we must accept the inevitability of her death." Kes swallowed a bitter pill as he spoke to her about his thoughts. She sat quietly for a bit while she composed herself. Then she met his eyes, " Thank you for helping....I don't think I would have accepted it if you hadn't at least tried." She rose, once more the quiet, thoughtful Kes Tuvok had come to know, "Good night." he wished her.. The doors opened and closed behing her, leaving Tuvok alone with his thoughts. Kathryn saw him move to his terminal, activating its monitor and standing with his hands behing his back, "Tactical Officer's log, supplemental. My attempt to help Kes detect the captain's presence had ended in failure. I am forced to conclude that we have,... in fact,...lost Kathryn Janeway." Tuvok felt an emotion. It had pentrated his control as easily as a pin through paper. He was about to quell it when his natural curiosity made him identify it as.....loss. He added to the log an afterthought to accompany this emotional finding with only a trace of his usual control, "I would like the record to show...that I have lost a good friend as well..... One whom I can never....replace." Kathrn was torn with sympathy to the point of pain, "Oh, Tuvok.." She reached out to him..... "They all love you, Kathryn." her father said. Kathryn whirled to see him standing in the starlight.. "It's going to be hard for them." he admitted. She cried, mentally staggered, "This can't be happening. I don't believe it!" His eyes glinted the shafts of light from the window, "Because you don't want to. " He stepped closer, "Tommorrow, it will become easier." A knife twisted in her heart. Kathryn's eyes widened, and she whispered, "My memorial service...."