Disclaimer: You know 'em, they Marvel's. You don't, they mine. Ain't makin' no money. Sex is mentioned, but nothing explicit. Actually it is really only just barely touched on.

Sami was finally asleep. It took them all three bedtime stories apiece and three glasses of water, but she was finally asleep.

"I love having you guys here, but Lord have mercy, it's impossible to make her go to sleep after you arrive." Tabitha said, brushing her hair out of her face.

"I know. Just imagine what it would be like if she was like this all the time!" Demi laughed.

"Oh, my God!" Tabitha joined in the laughter.

The three old friends all sat around the kitchen table discussing everything that came to mind while they drink their coffee. They had just gotten finished laughing at one of Demi's impressions of her teacher when Tabitha asked, "Where are you guys going for Christmas? You know Sami and I would both love it of you stayed here."

"Actually we are going up to some place I have never heard of in New York to see some of Rictor's old friends." Demi supplied.

"Westchester?" Tabitha asked, her eyes glued on Julio's face.

"Si. Amara wanted to get all the New Mutants together again." Rictor told her.

"Oh. I guess I don't classify as a New Mutant anymore." Tabitha whispered into her coffee cup.

"They couldn't find you." Rictor said, reaching out to put a hand on Tabitha's closed fist. "They looked all over for you."

Tabitha gave a tight smile. "I guess my little legal wipe did do some good."

"Why do you not come with us?" Demona suggested, a smile lighting up her face. "It would be good to have some one I know there to talk to when Ric is off playing with his friends."

"I can't." Tabitha said a bit to sharply, a bit to quickly.

"Why not?" Demi demanded.

"I�have to work." Tabitha made an excuse.

"No you don't." Rictor reminded her. "If I recall correctly, Heather always goes home to Tennessee around this time of year. Doesn't she stay gone tell like, the January?"

Tabitha sighed. "I don't have the money."

"You don't need any money. Were going to stay at the X-Mansion, and Demi and me really need another driver." Rictor pointed out.

Tabitha stared down into her coffee cup. " I can't face Sam."

"Who?" Demi asked, a confused look on her face.

"Sam Guthrie. My old boyfriend and�" Tabitha broke off, tears running down her face.

"And Sami's father." Rictor finished for her.

"Mein Gott!" Demi cried, her eyes growing huge.

"Yeah. Ya see my problem?" Tabitha asked, brushing her tears away. All were silent for a long time, looking down at the table.

"Does he know about Sami?" Demi finally asked.

"Nope." Rictor answered.

"You're sure?" Demi demanded. She looked surprise when Rictor snorted and Tabitha smiled slightly. "What is so funny?"

"You just gotta know Sam. If Tabitha had told him that she was pregnant he would have married her right then and carted her off to Kentucky." Rictor laughed softly.

"Why in the world would he take her to Kentucky?" Demi asked, still confused.

"That was where he was originally from." Tabitha explained to her.

"Then why did you not tell him? Did you not love him?" Demi asked.

"Demi, I loved him with everything I had in me. I still love him, more then anyone else other then Sami. I loved him so much, that I gave him up." Tabitha whispered.

"Why?" Demi demanded.

"Because he would have married me and taken me to Kentucky." Tabitha said simply.

"Huh?" Rictor asked. "I never did understand why you didn't want that."

"Because he would never have been happy! He loves his life, he loves being an X-Man!" Tabitha cried, her face contorting in a hidden pain.

"He loved you more." Rictor told her, his voice low.

"No, he didn't. Sometimes, I don't believe that he ever loved me." Tabitha's voice was so pitiful that it was heartbreaking.

"Yes, he did, Tabitha. I know he did. Don't you remember the way he use to look at you?" Rictor got up from his chair and came around to kneel next to her.

"Not anymore." Tabitha whispered, her tears sliding down her face.

"Oh Tabitha." Demi whispered, getting up to hug her friend.

For a long time they just stood like that, allowing Tabitha the cry she needed badly. After a few minutes, Tabitha was all cried out.

"I don't know what to do." Tabitha whispered after she regained control of herself.

"You need to tell Sam about Sami. Don't you think that he deserves to know?" Rictor told his old friend.

"Yeah�but what if he hates me?" Tabitha whispered. "I don't think I could take that."

"But what if he does not? And don't you think that Sami should have the right to know her father?" Demi asked the girl.

"Oh, God yes. I want her to know him so badly, but�" Tabitha wept.

"But what?" Rictor challenged.

"What if he doesn't want anything to do with her either?" Tabitha finally voiced her greatest fear.

"What?! Trust me Tabitha, I may not know Sam as well as you do, but I do know that he would never abandon his child." Rictor practically shouted.

"You really think so?" Tabitha whispered, barely allowing herself to hope.

"I do." Rictor stressed firmly. Tabitha managed a shaky smile.

"I still don't think that I could face him again though." Tabitha said.

"Why?" Demi asked gently.

"I don't know. What if he's found someone else?" Tabitha wept.

"Then we will deal with that. You have to face him again Tabitha. You will never know peace of mind until you do."

Tabitha sniffed. "Sami did say that she wanted to see snow for Christmas."

Rictor and Demi smiled at each other over Tabitha's head. She was beginning to wear down.

"It's always snowing in Westchester." Rictor reminded her.

"Yeah�" Tabitha said softly.

"I really need some one I can talk to up there." Demi practically begged.

"I know you do�" Tabitha trailed off.

"It'll be good for Sami to see other places. I don't think that she's ever been out of this area, has she?" Rictor prodded.

"No, she hasn't�" Tabitha's voice was getting distant.

"Please?" Both Demi and Rictor pleaded.

"Well," Tabitha hesitated for an instant, "Alright."

****

Sam flew over the snow-blanketed land, his eyes stinging with tears. They hadn't even invited her! There was no way now that he would ever get to see her! He missed her so much, it was like having a hole in his heart.

After a little while longer of suicidal flying, the young man landed in a small grove. He always came here, when he wanted to be alone and think. He had been coming here since he had first found it, those first few weeks of being in the New Mutants.

This is where he brought Tabitha the first night they made love. It had been early in the autumn, when X-Force was being held for the assault against the Professor. The night had been unseasonably warm. He was sitting outside on the dock, watching the sun drop past the horizon. And she had come to him, her short hair glowing softly in the fading light. She had sat next to him, and given him her shoulder to cry on. That was the night he realized that he loved her. Unable to say the words, he had brought her here.

That first night together was everything and more then he had ever dreamed of. Nothing, not even their other nights together, would ever be able to match it. Her kisses and caresses had been so soft and silky. If he closed his eyes, he thought he could still feel her hands in his hair.

This was the place that they had made love the last time, too. It had been just a few weeks before she had�left.

Even though it had been years, Sam still thought he could feel Tabitha's warm presence in this grove. He missed her more and more every time he came here.

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