Scepticism

A Tom Curtis Web Page

Faithful, Belivers, harken to the clarin call of Scepticism

(You have nothing to lose but your eternal soul)

About as effective as a mute cockrel, in a farm for deaf animals, owned by a farmer with no ears, who's dead.

 

Do not believe everything you are told! No matter how nice it may seem, no matter how compelling. the true essence of Scepticism is logic - and this means defying beliefs founded on pretty words and nice dreams. Yes, wouldn't it be nice if some wonderful being watched over you, and cared what happened to you. But that isn't very likely, is it? After all, you're not very important. the Sceptic's Bible doesn't exist, because the answers to all your problems do not lie in a book. In fact, there aren't any answers at all. You're fucked - and that's as nature intended it.

 

GOOD REASONS NOT TO TRUST RELIGION

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; man and female."

Genesis 1:27

Still with me? Good; it's making sense at the moment, but bear with me. this creation occoured on the sixth day, O.K? But it doesn't stop there (this is where it gets good);

 

WHOOPS, BIBLICAL BLOOPER

"there was not a man to till the ground.....And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground"

Genesis 2:5-7

So, after creating man, God then rested, and the realising there weren't any men, he created man. Um...? And it continues...

 

KEEP 'EM COMING

"and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."

Genesis 2:22

I'm a little confused. After creating man - male and female - God then made man (male man) and then a little later he made women (female man). Well, they probably know what they're talking about.

 

I CAN'T TALK

"I can't dance, I can't talk, the only thing about me is the way that I walk."

Genesis

 

Don't get me wrong, if I had a handy torah I'd rip that apart too. (And don't bother explaining to be the 'obvious' meaning of the quoted segments - I'm happier in my 'misconception'.) And religion is not the only thing to be avoided, let's not forget alien abductions. Yes, we've all sen Star Wars, but that doesn't mean we have to live it.

Being a Sceptic is a way of life - negatively you have to mope around wearing dark clothing and sitting in darkened rooms, listening to depressing music. However, a good Sceptic can also be positive - revel in your mortal body's lusts and wonders: drink, enjoy rock & roll and have copious amounts of sex. With several partners. All at once. There is nothing to lose except your keys at two o'clock in the morning while plastered. Sod peace ever after - it's all trite anyway. Instead, listen to reason, and be reasonable. Everybody unite in Sceptic harmony.

Become an official Sceptic; renounce any previous religious learnings and put aside your insistence that aliens probed your butt. this is a time of logical disbelief and hopelessness - and plenty of sin. Say the following:

"I know that I am a sinner but I don't need any forgiveness. I believe it doesn't matter much anyway, and my sins are my own concern. I now proclaim my Sceptical lack of faith, and I hope I die an exciting and tragic death. i will learn to please myself in every way possible."

All will be well, as long as you remember these important Scepticist facts:

 

If you have accepted Scepticism, send £10.00 to Unpope Thomas Adam I, and you will recieve a badge procaliming:

"I'm a bloody idiot who hasn't learnt their lesson. Shoot me now."

Keep Doubting!

 

Back

 

FC Navigation Console