a story for my friend Beth

Admiral Harriman Nelson was a brilliant if somewhat sober man. His greatest joys were intellectual ones. The founder of the highly respected Nelson Institute of Marine Research, and the builder of the fabulous research submarine Seaview, he was one of the foremost scientists of his generation. He was a man consulted by governments and top scientists from around the world. His exploits were the stuff of history.

Those who worked with him at the Institute, or on the Seaview, felt themselves privileged to know the temperamental genius. His closest associates were ever- protective and supportive of the man, respecting him above all others. Only those who had known him in his long ago youth knew that there was another side to Harry Nelson. A more capricious side. A side capable of taking delight in the silliest of practical jokes....

vvvvv

Admiral Nelson sat back in his desk chair, with his hands behind his head. Morale on the boat was low. He understood that it was mainly exhaustion that was leading to the general malaise afflicting the crew. The officers were even more weary than the crew, and performed their duties with a mechanical lassitude. Harry knew that they would be home in just a few days, but he still felt it his duty to do something to improve the situation, especially because it was his scientific curiosity that had led to the exhaustion in the first place. He knew that on occasion his inquisitive nature made him blind to the needs of his men. His people worked very hard for him, and he truly appreciated the fact, even if he did not express it often enough.

Staring up at the ceiling of his cabin, Nelson ran through a mental list of options, some feasible, some not. He wanted something that would shake the crew up, give them something to talk about in their quarters and in the crew mess and the wardroom. He sat leaning back, swiveling slowly back and forth as he pondered. A sudden thought came to mind, and the swiveling stopped. A slow smile spread across his face.

He went to his small wardrobe, pulling his keys from his pocket as he went. Opening the door, he spied a small nondescript case sitting on the top shelf. He pulled down the case and took it to his desk, and fit one of his keys in the lock. Before he opened the case, he went to the door of his cabin, and stuck his head out into the hallway. Satisfied the coast was clear, he closed the cabin door, and went to the desk and opened the case.

From a foam-padded compartment, he pulled out a complicated control apparatus. The size of a shoebox, the control device had a loop antenna, a small joystick, a bank of buttons and toggle switches and a miniature television screen. Harry pulled out a heavy-duty power cord, and plugged it into the device, and the power surge strip below his desk. He powered up the device, and ran a check of all systems. Satisfied that all was in working order, he reached into the case for the robot that the device controlled. Pulling it out, his face took on a mischievous aspect that would have amazed any of the men of the Seaview. He inspected the robot closely, looking for any telltale sign of artificiality. Finding no flaw, he set the robot on the desk, and pressed a button on the controller. In a moment, the robot went from stiff immobility to movement so lifelike that Harry was filled with delight. He eyed the robot, which eyed him back, nose twitching. Harry smiled, "Hello, Teddy."

vvvvv

Ten minutes later, Nelson looked around his lab. Perfect. Everything was in place. He paused a moment to 'get into character', then picked up the intercom mike and called the control room. "Nelson to control room! Lee! Lee, are you there?"

Captain Lee Crane's voice was concerned when he answered. "Yes, Admiral. Is there something wrong?"

"Lee, get down here right away! Hurry!" There, the Admiral thought. That should get him moving. Harry quickly arranged himself on a lab stool. He composed his features into a mask of sorrow, and hyperventilated to put some color into his cheeks. Sure enough, within a few moments, he heard footsteps pounding down the corridor.

Lee burst into the room, his eyes wild with fear. He took in the Admiral's dejected countenance and called out as he crossed the lab, "Admiral! What is it? What's wrong, Sir?"

Harry waved to a bank of cages where lab animals were occasionally kept. The cages were all currently empty and all but one were clean and sterile. One cage however had the detritus of recent habitation. Wood shavings covered the floor and a food bowl half filled with seeds and nuts stood in one corner, and a water bottle hung on the side. The cage sat with the door ajar.

Lee frowned. He didn't remember any lab animal the last time he visited the Admiral's sanctum. He remembered back a few months ago when a rat had gotten loose. It had been killed by Chief Sharkey before the Chief realized it was a lab animal, and not common vermin. Lee suppressed a slight shudder at the thought of an animal loose on HIS ship. He glanced at the Admiral, and said, "Did something get loose, Sir?"

Harry affected a look of astonishment. "Yes! How can you ask that! Haven't I told you about my plankton propagation project? I've been working on this for months!"

Lee patted the air in soothing motions, "Of course you've told me! I just didn't realize you had gotten to the lab rat stage yet. Is it a rat?"

Nelson stared at Crane as if he were a particularly doltish student. "Yes. It was a rat. A brown one. I want it found, Lee. I want it found and caught. Unharmed. I suggest that you lock Chief Sharkey up until it is found."

"Admiral...."

"Yes, yes, I know he says he didn't realize it was one of mine. Just find my rat, Lee. I'll be in my quarters. Let me know as soon as you have it." Admiral Nelson turned and walked quickly away, no longer able to keep the smile from his face.

Lee slumped against the wall and casually looked around the room. No sign of it. Again, he repressed a slight shudder. Science be damned, rats had no place on a submarine. Fortunately, as Captain, he was in a position to delegate this little task. Reaching for the intercom mike Lee ordered, "Mr. Morton, report to my cabin immediately."

vvvvv

"WHAT????" bellowed Lt. Cmdr. Chip Morton, the Seaview's Exec. He jumped up out of the chair he had been sitting in, and looked wildly around the lower reaches of his Captain's cabin.

With a look of strained tolerance, Crane said, "Chip, sit down. It's not in here, I already checked."

"Lee, remember that last one? Sharkey said it was like it knew exactly what it was doing! He talked about the 'super rat' for weeks!" Chip eyes continued to dart around the room.

"Chip, it is just a lab rat, not some evil monster. Just order the crew to be on the lookout, and get some traps set, okay? I want it caught quickly, but I don't want the men wasting time on a rat hunt. Oh, and make sure everyone knows that it is not to be hurt. The Admiral's a tired man right now, and the last thing he needs is to have six month's work go down the drain."

Neither man saw the tiny bright eyes peering at them from the ventilation grille. Neither heard the tiny patter of little rat feet retreating down the duct. The rat headed for the control room.

Harry Nelson was pretty sure that Chip Morton was going to delegate the chore of locating the 'missing' lab rat. And sure enough, as he positioned Teddy at a convenient airduct, he could see the Exec giving instructions to Chief Sharkey. Nelson was amazed at how good the detail was from the tiny optic cameras that made up the rat's eyes. He could see the tension in the Exec's body as he explained the situation to the Chief of Boat. And he could also see the color drain from Sharkey's face as Morton told him a rat was loose. Nelson knew both men, city boys, had a strong aversion to the animals which they considered vermin.

Deciding that it was time to get this show on the road, Harry pressed a button, and the rat squeaked. The noise was not loud, and the ambient noise in the Seaview's control room was such that most of the men on duty didn't even notice it. But both Morton and Sharkey swung toward the airvent as if they had radar. Harry watched as the two men signaled each other as if silence was the only way to capture the rat. Looking around, Sharkey got a plotting tool to use as a screwdriver, and much to Harry's delight, tiptoed over to the vent.

Nelson noted that this performance had not gone unnoticed by the crewmen on duty. Harry got a good look at some very puzzled faces before his view was blocked out by Morton's head. The Exec was holding his ear up to the vent. He whispered to the Chief, "I think it's gone."

Harry immediately had Teddy shift around in place. It produced a satisfying skittering sound that caused the Exec to jump back as if bitten. "It's still there. Open it up, Chief."

Sharkey attacked the screws holding the grille in place and in a few minutes, the grille fell away, and Harry was treated to the sight of the Seaview's Exec and Chief of Boat's heads touching ear to ear as each man peered into the dark vent. Harry pushed a button that started a washing routine with the rat. He chuckled when it became obvious that neither man knew quite what to do next.

Eventually Morton swallowed and said, "Okay, Chief. Get it."

Harry started to howl with glee at the look on Sharkey's face. Chief Francis Ethelbert Sharkey was one of the toughest men Harry had ever met. As honest and loyal as the day is long, Sharkey had never before seriously questioned any order any superior officer had ever given him. But it was obvious now that not only was the Chief going to question an order, but also the sanity of the man giving it. He looked over at the Exec, who couldn't seem to take his horrified eyes off of the rat two feet in front of him. "How, Sir?"

The instant that Morton's attention wavered, Harry had the rat beat a hasty retreat down the duct. He was rewarded by an exclaimed, "It's gone!" before he disappeared down a cross tunnel. Harry guided the rat carefully through the air ducts until finally it appeared at the duct opening across the room. He went over and carefully picked the little robot up and brought it to his desk. He shut the system down and as he left his cabin, planned Teddy's next appearance.

Harry roamed the ship, and eventually came across a work crew setting out improvised traps designed to capture but not injure the errant rat. He asked Patterson, who was in charge of the detail to explain how the traps worked, and the seaman gladly obliged. Pat had designed two out of three of the different types of traps used and explained to the delighted Admiral that the Chief said that it was a very smart rat. Sharkey had had different designs made up on the theory that if one didn't get it, another one would. Nelson suggested that they also vary the bait to include items other than cheese, and told the workers to try peanut butter or hamburger in some of the traps. A couple of the men shifted uncomfortably at the idea of hamburger, apparently never having considered that a rat was omnivorous.

Harry left the work detail and decided to head up to the control room and see if he could tweak Chip Morton. He was having the time of his life, but he was glad that no one realized that he was responsible. He could easily imagine the mutiny that would follow. Probably with Lee Crane and Chip Morton at the fore of the crowd demanding his blood. Harry thought regretfully that it probably was time to shut Teddy down. It would leave the crew with an unsolvable mystery to solve, but at least they were out of the doldrums.

Harry entered the control room to find that Morton was off duty, and Lt. Bob O'Brien had the con. Disappointed, Harry made a show of checking the computer, then left to head to his cabin. As he climbed the spiral staircase at the front of the control room, a thought came into his mind, and the mischievous grin fleeted across his face.

vvvvv

Lt. Bob O'Brien checked the inertial navigator to verify the position of the Seaview. It was two hours into his watch, and things were running smoothly, if a bit monotonously. He was unconcerned about Admiral Nelson's missing lab rat. He knew it would turn up eventually, and as a kid, he had kept a white rat as a pet, so he had no fear of the animals. One good thing about the rat, he thought, it had livened up the crew a bit, and that in Bob O'Brien's mind was a good thing. He turned his head to get a reading from the fathometer, when he heard a high pitched squeaking. To his amazement, he saw the rat! It was perched on the access hatch to the flying sub berth! Just sitting there, staring right at him!

Quietly, so as not to startle it, O'Brien called out to the sonar operator, "Malone. The Admiral's lab rat is right over there. Let's see if we can catch it. You take the right, and I'll take the left. Move slowly, and try not to scare it."

"Aye, Sir." said Malone. "Uh, Sir? How are we going to catch it? Won't it bite?"

"Hmm. Good point.... Okay, take off your shirt. When we get close, throw the shirt over it. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir." Malone's response sounded decidedly reluctant, but Bob refused to take his eyes off the little beast. He sensed rather than saw Malone keep pace with his own steady advance. Bob stopped when the rat suddenly reared up on its haunches and started chittering a warning.

"Easy now, little fella. We're not going to hurt you. Okay, Malone, on the count of three, toss your shirt. One.... Two.... Three!!"

Malone tossed the shirt, and along with Lt. O'Brien, dived after the rat. They came together in a heap on top of the shirt, and became tangled up with themselves and the shirt. The rat in the meantime had backed away just as the shirt left Malone's hands, and stood back watching the two struggling men. The rest of the duty watch was howling with laughter at the performance. The rat finally took it's leave of the action, by running full tilt through the control room as crewmen scattered or grabbed for it, as their inclinations allowed.

Captain Crane chose that moment to enter the control room, and looked around in dismay at the upheaval. Crewmen were standing on their chairs, or on their knees on the floor. Lt. O'Brien was in the observation nose silently handing Malone the tattered remains of what looked like a tee shirt. "Mr. O'Brien!!!" Crane roared, "What is the meaning of this?"

O'Brien heaved a sigh. "The rat, Sir. The Admiral's rat paid us a visit."

The Captain, who had been working up to a full-blown tirade, deflated like a burst balloon. "Oh. Well, get the men back to work. You and I will discuss this later." The Captain left the room before O'Brien could so much a respond with an 'Aye, Sir.'

vvvvv

Harry Nelson sat at his desk with a huge smile on his face. This was turning out better than he could have hoped. Thanks to Teddy's ability to remain still and become virtually unnoticeable, he had been able to eavesdrop on the crew's mess and the wardroom where the conversations were virtually identical. The entire complement of the Seaview was engaged in lively discussion about the 'super rat' that had been dropped in their midst. The rat's accomplishments in the minds of the crew had far exceeded any actual deeds of the little robot. Harry had helped Teddy's reputation along by furtively removing the baits from every trap he could find and leaving the traps unsprung. He looked over to his bed where is accomplice sat twitching its whiskers. This next part would be tricky, but he felt it necessary to seal Teddy's place in the lore of the Seaview.

Harry went to his cabin door, opened it carefully and checked to make sure the coast was clear. Satisfied, he picked up Teddy and quietly left his cabin. He slipped silently down the corridor to a cabin near the end of the corridor designated as 'officer's country'. Harry listened intently with his ear pressed hard against the door. Convinced that the occupant was asleep as expected, he opened the cabin door and peeked inside. He could just make out a body on the bunk in the darkened room. He carefully set the rat down on the floor, then retreated out of the cabin, leaving the door open a crack.

Harry padded silently back to his own cabin, and after some deliberation, left the door ajar. He hurried over to his desk to activate the next phase of his plan. He sat down and realized he was not alone. Doc Jamieson leaned casually against the doorjamb with his arms crossed. "Evening, Harry."

"Umm, hello, Will." Harry replied warily.

"Harry, what did you just put in Chip's quarters?"

With a sly grin, Harry turned the question back on the doctor. "Why, whatever do you mean, Doctor Jamieson?"

"Admiral Nelson, it looked suspiciously like a rat. A brown lab rat. But it wasn't moving like a rat. Harry, what is going on?"

"C'mon in, Will. You might as well know. The 'super rat' is a robot Jiggs Starke gave me for testing a couple of months ago. You remember the lab rat that Sharkey 'killed'? Well, it was the robot. I brought it out again yesterday morning to see if I could shake things up around here. Actually, I am glad that you caught me. I have wanted to share this with someone, but I don't think Lee would have much sense of humor about it."

"Harry, I wouldn't give a plug nickel for your chances around here if Lee, or even worse, Chip finds out about this. What were you planning on doing, anyway? Is Chip on duty? Is he going to find a rat on his desk?"

"No. Chip is in bed right now. Come around and watch." Harry turned his attention to the controller, all the time aware of Doc's hesitation. He pretended to ignore the man, and after a moment, the doctor came around the desk.

"It's not going to bite him, is it?"

"Doc! Of course not! I just want to wake him up a bit."

"Harry, the man is exhausted! Why don't you just leave him alone."

"Is that a medical opinion? Do you really think I would do anything to harm Chip Morton?"

"Don't try to turn this around, Harry. This entire escapade is suspect. What are you doing? What is that I am looking at?"

"Those are the blankets on Chip's bed. It takes awhile to get used to the perspective. There, see? That's his hand. We will just go over here a bit, and ... There! There's his face."

"Tsk. Harry, get it away from him. This borders on cruelty. You know he hates rats! What are you going to do, anyway?"

Harry could see that Will was becoming hooked despite himself. "I'm just going to wake him up." Harry pushed a button, and unheard by the two men, the robot squeaked.

Chip Morton had finally fallen asleep after several hours of fruitless searching for the Admiral's lab rat. Although the Captain had said just to set traps and be on the alert, the Exec along with Chief Sharkey had been a two-man task force trying to catch the rat. Some sound reached deep into the sleeping man's brain, and wearily he opened his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Chip waited for his eyes to adapt to the darkness. It almost looked as if something was on his bed. Something with eyes....

Nelson and Jamieson were treated to a shriek that came through the controller's speakers, as well as through the walls. Watching the Exec fall out of bed trying to avoid the rat, Doc shot Harry a look of disgust, then left the cabin on the run. Harry, feeling very much like a naughty little boy whose prank had backfired, quickly navigated the rat back out the door and up the corridor to his cabin, passing Doc and Lee Crane on the way. Fortunately, Lee was concentrating on getting to Morton's quarters, and didn't catch sight of the rat running along the wall. As soon as the robot was secured, Harry hurried to the Exec's quarters. He found Chip sitting on his bunk with Lee and Will bent solicitously over him.

Chip sat fending off Doc's attentions. "Would you leave off, Doc? I'm fine. Just leave me alone." The Exec was in a foul temper.

"You are not 'fine'. You could have a minor concussion, and there is some blood here. Now just sit still while I check it out." Doc Jamieson was fuming, and Harry was the only one in the room who knew why. He wondered if the doctor would let the cat out of the bag.

Lee sat next to his friend, looking concerned and perplexed. "Now, tell me what happened again? You woke up and saw the rat? Where was it?"

Wincing under Doc Jamieson's probing fingers, Morton frowned. "Lee, I was asleep, facing the wall. Something woke me up. I opened my eyes, and that damned rat was right there! Not six inches away, staring at me!"

"Are you absolutely sure, Chip? After all, it was dark in here. Maybe you just imagined it."

With exasperation, Chip replied, "It was here, Lee. And I'll tell you something. That thing had intent. It knows just what it is doing."

"C'mon Chip, it's just an animal! It didn't come in here specifically to scare you. Although, I must admit, it did a damn fine job of it."

The Captain returned the Exec's glare with a wry smile. After a moment, Morton rolled his eyes, and started to chuckle, then winced, putting a hand to his head. "Oh, man, that smarts!"

Lee looked over at the doctor, "Okay Doc, what's the damage? Stitches? Brain surgery? Amputation?"

"Aspirin." Doc replied. "You've got a very minor cut on the scalp, Chip. Come on down to Sickbay in the morning. I want to clean it up. You may wake up with a headache, but if you are lucky, you won't even have that. "

"Admiral, are you sure you want that animal alive?" Chip asked ruefully.

Aware that Doc was glaring at him, Harry just smiled and said, "Why don't we let you get back to sleep? You'll probably feel better in the morning. Come along, gentlemen." He shepherded the others out of the cabin and closed the door.

Without looking either man in the eye, Harry mumbled a good night, and walked away up the corridor. He hadn't gotten far, when he heard Doc's voice call out, "Admiral, wait up a moment."

Harry half turned to face the livid medical man. "Harry, this stops now. Chip could have been seriously injured. I understand what you are trying to achieve, but this is absolutely the wrong way to go about it. I want your word that you will not use that damnable rat again."

"Will, of course I will stop. I'm going to go right now, and put Teddy into one of the traps. Then I will put it in a cage, and that will be the end of it. Do you think I don't realize what might have happened? I never meant for anyone, let alone Chip, to get hurt."

"All right Harry. I know. For what it's worth, I think this whole affair will probably act as a morale booster for years to come. Chip is okay, and I dare say he'll embellish his encounter with that thing to the point that the junior officers will think he's Halsey reincarnate."

Harry snorted at the thought. With a smile, he clapped Will Jamieson on the back, and they parted company. Harry entered his quarters, and looked at the rat sitting on his desk. He was coming to like the little robot. It certainly seemed to have a personality all of it's own. He smiled as he reached over and picked Teddy up. The standby routines were running, giving the robot very lifelike movement.

Harry had changed his mind about putting his rat into one of the many traps set around the ship. If Francis Sharkey or Chip Morton were to be the first to find him, Harry wasn't sure either man could resist the temptation to drop the trap, and Teddy, out the pressure hatch. Instead, he took the little robot to his lab, and put him into the cage that had been window-dressing the day before. When Harry released him, Teddy's standby routines continued and the robot quietly began to groom itself. Harry stood watching, and after a moment, the rat paused, looking up at him. And winked.

The End