XXXPASSWORD.ORG
PRESENTS
The Complete List of
the Different Kinds of Shit
that Spews From Your
Ass!
Ghost Shit - The kind where you feel
the shit come out but there is no shit in the toilet.
Clean Shit - The kind where you shit
it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Shit - The kind where you wipe your
butt 50 times and it feels unwiped so you have to put some toilet paper
between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin your pants with
a stain.
Second Wave - It happens when you're
done shitting and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize
you have to shit some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead Shit - The
kind where you strain so much you practically have a stroke.
Richard Simmons Shit - You shit so much
you lose 30 pounds.
Lincoln Log Shit - The kind that is
so huge you're afraid to flush without breaking it into little pieces with
the toilet brush.
Gassy Shit - It's noisy and everyone
within earshot is giggling.
Corn Shit - Self explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit Shit - The kind
where you want to shit, but all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramp
and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit - That's when it hurts
so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheek Shit (The Power Dump!) - The
kind that comes out of your butt so fast your cheeks get splashed with
water.
Liquid Shit -The kind where yellowish
brown liquid shoots out and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Food Shit - It smells so bad
the room must be condemned.
Upper Class Shit - The kind that thinks
their shit doesn't smell.
Fisherman's Bobber Shit - The kind where
you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall,
you shit and flush two times, but several golf ball size pieces are still
floating at the water line.
Ambush Shit - The kind that never happens
at home, but usually at a party or while playing golf. It is the result
of trying to fart--just a little, but you end up with trouser chili and
you walk bow-legged for the rest of the day.
Drunken Shit - The kind you have the
morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the
skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Champagne Shit - You're so constipated
that by the time the cork blows, a bubbly liquid streams from your ass.
Kling-On Shit - The kind where, when
you go to wipe it, it's there waiting on the edge.
The Iceberg Shit - This is the kind
where half of the shit is under the water, while the other half is floating
up.
Blow Out Shit - The shit that's proceeded
by a fart so vicious, you have to check the bowl afterwards to make sure
there are no cracks.
Exorcist Shit - The kind where yellowish-brownish
liquid shoots out of your ass and burns your ass while it splatters all
over the toilet. (See Liquid Shit)
Peek-A-Boo Shit - It comes halfway out,
then it goes back in, comes back out, goes back in, etc.
Pregnancy Shit - The kind where you're
really backed up and it makes you grunt and wheeze for a long while until
it finally splits your crack in a child bearing fashion.(See Pop a Vein
Shit, Spinal Tap Shit)
Rabbit Shit - It comes in cute, round
portions, but there loads of it about. Actually, you're never really finished,
but stop at some point from boredom.
Alphabet Shit - It comes leisurely,
with one or a few breakaways, and when you look at it you think: "Doesn't
that just look like the letter ...?"
Feminist Shit - No matter what it looks
like or how it comes out, it's a man's fault.
Blowtorch Shit - Shit that burns your
ass so much, you'd swear that it's flammable. (usually occurs morning after
eating WAY too much spicy food)
Dual Density Shit - The kind where some
shit floats and some shit sinks to the bottom of the bowl.
Ribbon Shit - A semiliquid fecal matter
that is too thin to be a Lincoln Log Shit but not runny enough to be a
Liquid Shit. Rather, it looks like a 1 inch wide piece of brownish fettuccine,
with some specks of color.
The Public Shit - Shit that reminds
your senses of the warm, moist stench that embraces you when you enter
a less than sanitary public restroom.
Little Boy Shit
- Shit powerful enough to level a small city.
Flood Shit - You shit so much that it
acts like a huge sandbag and ends up flooding your bowl and running out
all over the place, leaving you to clean up a brown, pasty mess. (Add a
bonus point if John Mellencamp does a relief concert to help cleanup efforts)
Dream Shit - When you haven't been to
the toilet in 14 days, this is the shit that you'll be dreaming about.
Concrete Shit -This is what you'll drop
after you haven't been to the toilet in 14 days.
Surgery Shit -
After the Concrete shit, you'll have to go into surgery because your ass
is torn apart so badly.
This Section is exclusively for you! ��
The Heavy Brick Dead Weight Shit -This
is one pefectly formed piece of shit that drops out of your ass like a
Heavy Brick, it immediately plops into the water and goes straight to the
bottom of the toilet due to it's Shear Massive Heavy Dead Weight.(these
shits usually leave - no residue on your ass, they are quick and clean!)
++ (see clean shit) ��(submitted
by The Brammer Tram)
Boomerang Shit- This
is when you shit, wipe, get back to your favorite chair, get comfortable,
then have to shit again. It will repeat itself three or four times before
the cycle is complete, and almost always during your favorite TV show.
(submitted by Jackal)
Russian Shit - Shit
while your Playing Roulette. (submitted by
Vlad)
Snake shit- When
the shit looks like a snake in the toilet! (submitted
by Darrel)
Disappearing Shit
-You shit but when you look, it's already gone down the toilet. Usually
due to the toilet still running rather than the shit. (submitted
by Jason T)
The Black Hole Shit - Shit
that comes out in a big black square, and you can swear that it is sucking
the light out of the room. (submitted by Ryan)
Recycled Shit - The
type of shit that spews out of your ass when some other shithead has made
you eat shit. (submitted by Shit)
THE MORNING AFTER BARIUM MEAL SHIT- The
excuse for shit created by the medical concoction for ulcer diagnosis that
is so heavy it has the effect of welding itself to the pan and hangs around
for about 6 months. (submitted by Andrew K)
Stupid Shit - Shit
that doesn't know how to come out. ( anonymous
)
Rainbow shit: - The
result of eating too many Skittles.
(submitted by Revello & LiQuIdZ )
The Shit-or-get-off-the-pot shit: This
is where you shit a little, but it feels like some more wants to come out,
so you wait, and wait...Nothing comes out! So you start wiping your ass,
and as soon as you do, you suddenly feel like you're ready to shit some
more! so you wait and wait... This cycle can repeat itself indefinitely.
(submitted by Brian P )
Don't Give a Shit: Shit - The
empty stool sample container that you give to your doctor. Because it just
won't come out. (submitted by Ken S )
THE PATS SHIT - That
hot melting shit that burns your bunghole so bad that you can't wipe with
the paper, you have to pat it with cool wet pieces. (submitted
by Tony )
The Trekkie Shit -
Those shit balls that exit but didn't hit the water yet, much like the
USS Enterprise, their stuck around Ur-anus
like Cling-ons. (submitted by Tony )
The Custom Cut Shit -
That long ass thick log that doesn't purge out all the way and you can't
push it out any further,, and you can't suck it back in, so you have to
custom cut it to length! Then work on pushing out the second half. (submitted
by Tony )
"Deployment Shit"- This shit
is very common amongst us Army soldiers. It is the fucked up spray of shit
that will ever come out of your ass after eating MRE's for 20-30 days and
coming home and eating taco bell first thing. (submitted
by William R )
Shy shit - Shit
that suddenly hides when someone comes through the door. (submitted
by Mark W )
hide and seek shit - That
really nice shit that you were waiting to take a look at, but realized
after you got up, you covered it with paper. (submitted
by Mark W )
Skunk Shit - A
shit that is so large (See Pop a Vein Shit, Spinal Tap Shit) that afterbursting
your hemorrhoid or tearing your sphincter, like you were giving yourself
an episiotomy, it leaves a nice wide bloody red streak down the entire
length of your shit. (submitted by D-ZaSTeR
)
- Shit Wannabe shit - That
kind of shit you take out after long time and with no crap-cutting, then
when you're finished it about 16 inches, then
you say : " Gosh, I wish that shit was
my dick! " (submitted by Carlos A )
- Piss off shit - The
one that after you broke your ass into pieces to take out!, and after your
done you wanna check out your masterpiece! Only to discover it has hidden
deep in the toilet. (submitted by Carlos A
)
The "I want more...." shit - The
piece that floats back up after you have
flushed everything else. what does it WANT?
(submitted by Yaron )
The James Bond 007 Shit - This
is the secret agent shit for when your on your way at a truck stop or some
other kind of well visited function....The shit is proceeded with a hot
but very quiet "whhhhoooossshh", that normally stink like fuck
and could of been used against the Russians a couple of years ago ( or
against Saddam !) - Not to be confused with the "is he cummin or aint
he cummin, red hot fart" shit.
(submitted by weener )
A lot of shit:
Shit that has been published by xxxpassword.org
(great list) R.V.P.
The Heavy Backsplash Shit - The
kind of shit that is so hard and heavy it makes a splash that comes up
and wets your asshole before it has time to shut! Causes the "shrinking
sphincter effe ct" if the water is very cold. You can't shit anymore!
(submitted by Ron D )
The Electric KoolAid Acid SplashBack Shit
- This shit starts as hot acidy steam, then
shoots a cannon shot shit which makes a loud KERPLUNK! when it hits the
water, sending a FireHose Jet of toilet water directly up your gaping asshole
before you can clamp it shut!!!! (submitted
by Enema Phreak )
The "Oh Shit" Shit - Usually
happens at someone else's home (usually a gathering of some sort) when
you flush and it all comes to the top while you frantically look for a
plunger (or something besides your hand) to help it on its way and avoid
any embarrassment. (submitted by Tim )
Steroid shit:
The shit so fat and long you have to take a broomstick to it to break it's
back to get it round the s bend (submitted
by dingus )
Rainbow 2 shit:
When you go to examine it, you swear there is every color of the rainbow
in that piece of shit.
(submitted by Some good shits in my day )
Teary Eyes shit: The
kinda shit that stinks so bad you're afraid to
let it out, and when you finally do it smells
so rank you practically die
before you exit the washroom!
PS: Don't do these at home--save them for
a friend's house!!!
(submitted by Some good shits in my day )
The Crippling Shit: A
shit so long and tedious your legs become numb from sitting on the toilet,
and any attempts of rising from the it will cause you to shit yourself
again.
(submitted by Dan( Jazzman)
The "Oh god not here-not now" or
"The party Shit" - A shit so horrendously
wretched or obnoxious, that when your at a crowded party you fear the guests
will notice your vile anal reminiscence. (submitted
by Dan( Jazzman)
The Big Brown Bear Shit:
The kind of shit which begins growling in
your rectum.....peeks out of it's cave......and then attacks with a reckless
abandon only seen on wild nature shows.
(submitted by David Z )
The "Good Morning Vietnam" shit
- This shit is so hot and wet that you could
swear that you were the one who dropped Naplam (Liquid Fire) on villages
in `Nam...This Is related to "Liquid Shit" (submitted
by weener )
The Long Awaited Shit - When
your at a party and the bathroom line is so long that you know people will
be pissed if you took a shit, so you have to wait till you get home!
(submitted by ~Ruddog )
Warm Pee Shit - This
is when you have to pee first while sitting on the can and then hope that
it won't be a backsplash shit, but it inevitably it is one of those tapered,
high velocity shits that sends the nice warm pee water directly back to
the black hole!... "your sphincter"... still open from the launch.
The only chance you have to avoid this phenomenon
is to have enough fore-site(intuition) and time to do a pre-flush before
the actual drop so you get a fresh anal douche instead of the urine splash
that you created!
(submitted by John H )
Three Coil Steamer - Self
explanatory, a once in a lifetime run and get the
camera shit. (submitted
by Diamond Dave )
Spicy Shit - The
shit that burns your ass so bad that you feel it eating away your rectum!
(submitted by Rafe P )
The "don't you dare flush shit"
- This is the shit you walk into a public
restroom and see wrapped around the toilet
bowl, usually 14" or more long.
Looking at it you realize the immense discipline
it took not to pinch their
butt cheeks while laying it. It is a rare
occurance and admired by others.
( Submitted by Brandon Beale )
The way-too-long shit - The
kind of shit that is laying both in water and in the dry area of the bowl,
much frequently encountered with low water level bowl.
( Submitted by Done this shit a couple of
times )
The Pastey(sticky) Shit - This
is the type of shit you have that comes out in a(creamy) pastey texture!
..Very similar to "toothpaste" in texture...It is so Pastey(sticky)
that when you shit ...the shit does not even drop into the toilet!.. It
just stays there stuck onto your ass hair!..When you go to wipe your ass
with a big wad of toilet paper
"which you need", the shit smears
all over your asshole in the direction that you wiped in..(very messy)..You
then realize that you must grab another big wad of
toilet paper and waddle over to the sink to
wet the paper so you can wipe your
ass with a wet towel..once you do that..you
again must grab another big wad of
toilet paper..and procced to wipe up the wet
shit leftovers on your butt hole
with some dry toilet paper!! ..Chances are
that you didn't quite get all the shit
off of your butt ..and at night when you take
your pants off to go to bed..you will
smell some funky shit!...You will then look
a your underwear and discover a
nice skid mark of shit stained into your shorts!!..Note:
"take a shower right away!!"
If you don't..and leave the crud on your butt
for a couple of days...The shit will
attach, solidify and harden to your butt hairs..and
will hurt when you try to pull
the little chunks of shit off of your butt
hairs!! >>> If this happens..Take a shower
and soften up the shit under the shower..and
slowly ease the shit off of your butt
hair...Doing this without feeling pain takes
lots of experience and practice!!
( Submitted by Webmaster of this site xxxpassword.org
(hookup)..! )
Dinosaur Shit: Shit
so dry and solid you swear it was passed down through generations until
you broke the tradition.
( Submitted by KiLliXeR )
(This is my New Favorite submitted entry !)
Volcano Shit: Shit
that starts as a low growl in your bowels and gives you just enough time
to hit the can, often spewing out violently just prior to you hitting the
bowl leaving a nice mess to clean up (usually caused by bad restaurant
food).
( Submitted by KiLliXeR )
Short Stay Shit: Shit
that comes from food intake only a couple hours ago.
( Submitted by KiLliXeR )
The Rapid Fire Shit - The
kind of shitballs that come out one right after one another, sounding like
a sphyncter modified semi-automatic weapon. Between the rapid fire shit
and the next turd that falls out your ass you pause and wonder why this
high velocity shit isn't causing a splashback.
The Ring of Fire Shit -This
usually results from eating hot wings the night before. The heat that emanates
not only burns your asshole but it feels like it has incinierated
feels like it has incinierated anything shit
related all the way to your kidneys.
( Submitted by Matthew I )
The Unexpected Shit - When
you stand at the bowl to take a piss and you realize that you have to shit!
so you hold your shit, sit down, finish your shit and then piss
( Submitted by Matthew I )
The Unexpected Piss shit -The
phenomenon of causing spontaneous urination upon an exceptionally long
squeezing of the sphyncter :)
(AKA the Why the Fuck Did That Happen Shit/Piss).
( Submitted by Matthew I )
HOLY SHIT- This
particular kind of shit has many subcategories, some
of which are as follows.
The shit that
looks like Blessed Mother Mary, or even Jesus Chirst himself.
When you are
taking a shit, god begins to talk to you.
A shit that
even god would be proud of
All of the
shit that the Pope leaves.
( Submitted by DeathDisease)
Eat Shit and Die shit- pretty
self explanatory, its the kind when you eat it, you die, its that simple!
( Submitted by DeathDisease)
The party pooper shit - That's
the kind of shit that comes up when your at a disco and the line for the
bowls is so long that you cant hold it up any longer and decide
to make a dump in the urinals.... "backwards"
After which you are so embarressed that you HAVE to go home and never return!
( Submitted by Lorenzo )
The 'this is what you get for not shitting'
shit - When Your somewhere that
you can't run off to the restroom right away
(like work), so you try and hold
it as long as you can and that makes your
shit get mad at ya and start coming
out a little wet, but mostly as nasty, brain
cell killing, nose hair curdling,
lung burning farts that make people on the
other side of the room say 'DAMN!'
and makes your boss say 'Do that again and
your fired!' kind of shits.
( Submitted by BDraper444 )
Pomeranium Shit - The
shit that draws blood by nipping your hemoroids on the way out ! (
Submitted by RABSECON )
The "thought it was a fart shit"-
Usually generated when you're everywhere
but on the toilet, you feel a nice fart making
is way to your asshole, you
think you should let him go, but oups !!!
this was not a fart. Reminds you
that you should always bring a spare underwear
with you.
( Submitted by N'cho )
The honest shit - the
kind when you feel you have to go but not in a hurry,
so you go. On the toilet, you have to push,
but not too much. The toilet
paper easily cleans the mess, so you get up,
pull your pants, look at what
you've done and you think "If all my
shits were like this one, I would be a happy man".
( Submitted by N'cho )
A - Bomb shit - The
shit that splashes all over your ass when it hit's. You all know what I'm
talking about. ( Submitted by SHOT7X )
Machine gun shit - When
you hover over the toilet and finally unlock your knees shit start shooting
out like a machine gun ( Submitted by rustolem
)
Foamy Shit - A
not quite solid shit that comes out like a thick mousse!
( usually accompanied by a "fraphhphhhh"
sound) ( Submitted by Great Cthulhu )