Realization- Yeah, well, everybody tells you that you're short. And you're even starting to believe it yourself. And every now and then you find yourself looking up and up and up at a person who says he's 5'9. And then people start looking down at you. And you begin to wonder, "Does that guy over there have his own climate?" Then there are those people who feel it's necessary to touch the top of a doorframe or the roof. And then you try by jumping as high as you can with your hand outstretched farther than you imagined possible. And still, your hand misses by at least 5 inches, hitting nothing but empty air and perhaps an occasional head. And then there are the times that you know that no one can hear or see you, cuz they bump into you and say, "Oops! Didn't see you there." or they just don't listen to you when you're screaming at the top of your lungs: "Hey! I wanted to say that- Hey! HEY!! Listen to me, dang it! I have an important thing to say! Hello? Hello?? HELLO???!!!"

The Jokes and Defensiveness- People look at you and make comments like, "Shouldn't you be going back to the Keebler Factory?" and "Hey, look! I found a gnome!" And your blood starts boiling and you just want to smack them upside their heads!... if you could reach their heads... You even make up little Politically Correct terms to make you feel better like "I'm not short, I'm vertically challenged!" or "I'm just small boned." or even "I'm not short, I'm... I'm... I'm just not short, okay?!" Then there are those times when you just know that people only see you as a short little person and as nothing else. Their eyes! Their eyes on your back burn! They BURN!!!! And how DARE they look at you and you just know that they're making fun of you behind your back. And you seriously think that you might have problems...

Self-Pity and Self Deprecation- Well, yes, you are short. And people make fun of you for it. And now all you can do is sit on your rump and feel sorry for yourself. "Poor little me... I'm short! How can I be short? My siblings are tall. My dad's pretty tall. My mom's pretty tall, too. I musta gotten it from Great-Aunt Agnus. She was one short old lady. Dang it! I don't wanna be as short as Great-Aunt Agnus! I wanna be tall, like Uncle Filbert! Why can't I be like Uncle Filbert? He's sure got an ugly name though... Agnus is a pretty awful name too. Oh God! All my relatives have ugly names! AHHH!!!!! I'm short AND my relatives have ugly names! AHHHH!!!!!" (I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I'm sorry to all those people out there named Filbert and Agnus. I tend to say- or type-  just what comes in my head, which is often either scary or offensive or just plain stupid. Even though they are pretty bad names. Don't forget to ask your parents what they were thinking when they came up with those names.) So, anyway, you're feeling sorry for yourself and you suddenly find yourself making short jokes about yourself. (Unfortunately, I can't think up of an example of a self-short-joke at the moment. My brain's fried.) And sometimes you wonder why fate chose you to get the frikin' recessive gene that's responsible for your shortness.

Anger- Oh, yeah, you're short. And what are they gonna do about it, huh? What's their problem, being all tall like that? Why do they deserve to be short while you have to be so close to the ground and when you go through crowds, it's scary cuz you can't see where you're going and all you see are a whole bunch of bodies hurtling toward you. And there the times when you find yourself sounding a lot like Joe Pesci: "Whadda you mean I'm short? I'll show you short, you two-bit slimeball!" (I don't really know if Joe Pesci's ever said that or whatever. It just sounds kinda Joe Pesci-ish to me)

Acceptance- Hey! You're short! And that's fine by you. You didn't really want to be all that tall anyway. Thank God for recessive genes! After all, there's nothing to do but look at the bright side of what you're given, right? I mean, you're closer to the flowers and you can get out of things easier because of your small stature, and hey, if your house is burning you can always fit through that window. Tallness? Who needs it? You'd much rather be short! You're learning to deal with this thing, and sure, there are times when people still joke and stuff, but you now have a few cute quips to throw back at them: "Shouldn't you be going back to the Keebler Factory?" "Yup! And no cookies for you, my tall friend." (Ok, that's kinda cheesy, but you get the idea.) You figure that life's too short to be worrying about... well... being short. (The pun wasn't intended! Honest!) You've got things to do and people to see, and you're not about to let a little thing like shortness get in the way. Being short's cool. You'd have it no other way. After all, what can you do about it?

Revenge- What can you do about it? Nothing, you say? Ha! You can get even, THAT'S what you can do. You can make all those pitiful and- if you pardon the expression- lowly tall people pay for their height. The good thing about this stage is that you don't even have to go through Acceptance to get here! You can take a hop, skip, and a jump over here straight from Anger. Acceptance? Bah! You want pay back! You didn't really join this campaign to feel good about yourself, did you? No! You wanted sweet revenge and to share it with all the short people around the globe! You want everyone to know that you're short, you're mad as hell, and you're not gonna take it anymore! So, what are you gonna do? You're gonna take over the world with your short kindred and kick some high up butt. You want REVENGE!!! SWEEEEEEET REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
um.... heh. Did I just type that? Ahem! Well, uh, you know what I mean. I don't need help or anything. You know how it is, right?  Revenge just kinda takes control and suddenly you're laughing maniacally. You've gone through this too, right? I'm not alone in this too, right? ...Right? Well, anywho, you want revenge (and I know you do) and Short People UNITE! is the one to give it to ya. And maybe someday you'll get to that elusive goal of Acceptance. But until you do, revenge is pretty sweet.