Insert the usual disclaimer here. No one in this is mine.
    Well, you asked for more...

LISTENING IN 2
by Rhondda Lake

     The man sat down in the van full of surveillance equipment. It was
his first night on this job. The guy assigned this duty before him was on
a prolonged medical leave of some sort. That he hadn't been told why was
bothering. He picked up the headphones and watched the tape reel spin.

     "Oh shit! Scully, I think it's stuck!"
     "What! Oh God Mulder how can you do this to me. Couldn't you see that
it was too big? Why did you try shoving the whole thing in at once?""
     "It isn't too big, this thing was just too small. I THOUGHT it would
work." 
     "Arguing dimensions is rather pointless at this point. How are we
going to get you out? Wait! Maybe if I twist a little like..."
     "OWWW! Stop it, You making it worse."
     "Well try... try moving it around a bit, maybe some of the juices
already in there will..."
     "It's not working. Maybe some lubrication from out here."
     "Hey not that stuff! It's mine and I don't want you to ruin it. If
you haven't already. Try some butter."
     "Scully, butter isn't working. I'm considering the jaws of life."
     "Mulder, they will need those to untangle you once I'm done you. This
is beyond embarrassing."
     "Aaaahhh! Watch it Scully, that IS attached you know."
     "Not for long."
     "Don't even JOKE about that."
     "OK so how do YOU suggest we get you out?"
     "Cold! Maybe and ice cube will make it shrink enough to get it out at
least."
     "Ok... come on over here, let me get some ice." There was the
rattling sound.
     "Hey, that's cold!"
     "It is ice, I thought that was the point."
     "I don't think it's working anyway?"
     "What? You have too many movie featuring the erotic usage of ice for
this to lower your body temperature?"
     "Maybe if we heated up the..."
     "Very funny. Just stand here and grab the door frame. I think the
only thing short of an embarrassing trip to the doctor that has a chance
of working is to pull."
     "OK, I'm as braced as I get. On the count of three. One, two three,
HEAVE!"
     There was a howl of pain and thud.
     "It worked."
     "I noticed. It hurt like hell." The sound of running water in the
background. 
     "Cold water will only numb it briefly, let me see if you have any
damage."
     "Oh God, It's red. It's stained red."
     "Well look at it this way Mulder, next time you won't stick your
whole hand in a jar of pickled eggs. Next time use a fork like the rest of
the world. You better not have chipped my mom's canning jar."

     The listener ground his teeth. He was beginning to suspect about his
predecessor's medical leave...