A Woman's Random Thoughts
Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day,
someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would
put them down and forget where they left them.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy
can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you
don't know what you're doing, someone else does.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept
rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.
She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
The trouble with some women is that they get
all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?