Stone Cold News

Raw is War McMahon 3:16, I Just Pissed My Pants

McMahon Loses Control of Bladder


Last night on Raw, the recently unemployed Stone Cold Steve Austin showed up with a rifle, a bow and arrow, a pistol and a knife. He was shown on the Titan Tron and McMahon ordered Boss Man to take his family out of town. Later that night after a visit from Mankind and "Sheriff" Socko, Austin called McMahon on his personal phone and threatened him. McMahon called his limo driver and told him to back up to the building, as he was leaving, Austin jumped him, took him back to his room where he held him hostage for nearly 2 hours, then, taking him out to the ring, he asked the crowd for a "Hell Yeah!" if they wanted to see McMahons eyes fly out of his head. Of course there was a chorus of "Hell Yeah's" and Austin put the pistol to McMahons head, and pulled the trigger. A small flag popped out that said
"BANG!
3:16"
McMahon pissed himself, and Austin replied with two heavy duty stunners.

Judgement Day Austin Fired, A Sad Sad Day

AUSTIN FIRED! HIS GUTS KILLED HIM!


As Mr. McMahon had ordered, the Undertaker took on his younger brother Kane with Stone Cold Steve Austin as the special guest referee. But it was clear within the first few minutes of the match that the Rattlesnake was not there to uphold the rules-in fact, quite the opposite. Rumors were flying all night about Paul Bearer and who he was aligned with. The Fat Man came down to ringside with a steel chair and nailed Kane! But the chair shot did not faze the Big Red Machine. He turned his back on the Undertaker to confront his father-and the Undertaker grabbed the chair, smacked Kane and went for the cover. But the Rattlesnake refused to make the count. The Undertaker got up and confronted the Rattlesnake, and Austin put him in the stunner! Both men were laid out on the canvas, and Austin administered the three count on both! He grabbed the microphone and named himself the winner! Then he went on a search for Mr. McMahon to see if the owner would keep his promise. Finally the owner showed his face and, as promised, he fired Stone Cold Steve Austin! Austin promised that Mr. McMahon had not seen the last of him�

Raw Is War Sports Car Cement, YOU MUST READ THIS!, Austin and Rock vs. Demonly Duo

Sports Car Filled With Cement


Austin arrived at the arena driving a cement truck. Mike Cole got to talk to Austin, who said he was going to use the cement truck for something the Vince McMahon "would remember". Then promptly Austin, in the cement truck, drove over to McMahon's prize convertible corvette and filled the inside completely with cement.

AUSTIN MAY BE FIRED! HIS GUTS WILL KILL HIM!


Then the Austin entered the ring. He said he was looking forward to being a referee on Sunday and that after Kane and the Undertaker beat the sh*t out of each other, the only hand he'll be raising is his own. McMahon came out to the ring arena accompanied by a BIG bodyguard and two police dogs. Vince(got a sweet tooth) said that if Austin doesn't raise the hand of a new champion on Judgement Day, he "guarantees" that he will fire him!!!!

Austin and Rock vs. Demonly Duo


During the match, Paul Bearer showed up but remained noncommittal. Later, D'Lo Brown and Mark Henry came to ringside. Kane and the Undertaker really took it to the number one contender, who tried in vain to make a tag. Finally, The Rock hit Kane with the Samoan Drop and tagged the Rattlesnake! Austin and the Undertaker went at it inside the ring. Outside the ring, Henry and D'Lo assaulted The Rock! With The Rock a victim of multiple Big Splashed by Mark Henry, the brothers double-teamed Austin! Suddenly, Mr. McMahon's bodyguard from earlier in the night came into the ring, beat Austin with a nightstick, and then took off his hood to reveal he was the Big Boss Man! The Boss Man stood in the ring and watched the brothers demolish the Rattlesnake. Meanwhile, the Federation owner and his stooges stood at the ring entrance area and smiled!

Sunday Night Heat D'lo DOWN! Henry Hit!

D'Lo Brown vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin


We saw Austin open a fresh can of whoop-ass against European Champion D�Lo Brown. Although Brown has been enjoying a successful run as of late, he proved to be no match for the Texas Rattlesnake on this night, with the "Pride of Europe" quickly fell to a Stone Cold Stunner! After that Austin assaulted Mark Henry and fell the "Worlds Strongest Man" to a Stone Cold Stunner also!

Raw Is War 2on2, Attack!

Kane and Undertaker vs. Stone Cold and Billy Gunn


Interesting, thats all I gotta say, Stone Cold and Billy Gunn may have lost, but it was still interesting. Billy was pinned, not Stone Cold if you feel better. I ain't gonna go on that anymore.

ATTACK ON MCMAHON!


During the Triple threat match between Mankind, Shamrock, and The Rock, McMahon brought his goons to beat up Mankind, clearly wanting The Rock to win. Austin snuck up behind him and literally kicked his ass. Then continued to kick him until the Demonic Duo chased him off.

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Raw Is War Taking a Beating, Shamrock Match

Stone Cold Took a Beating


After being royally insulted by Vince McMahon, and informed of the business deal between Kane, The Undertaker and Vince, Austin attacked McMahon and Vince ran behind his thugs, letting Kane and The Undertaker beat Austin senseless. Announcing that Stone Cold will take on both Kane and the Undertaker September 27 on Breakdown.

Shamrock vs. Stone Cold


This certainly was an exciting fight, Austin delivering the first blow, Shamrock continued to get his ass whooped until he delivered a very devasting spinning heel kick. Out of the ring, Shamrock bounced Stone Cold like a rubber ball, repeatadly on the steel stairs to the ring. After returning to the ring, they both began to get tired. Then Kane and the Undertaker came down with Vince, the deadly duo attacked, Kane vs. Shamrock, and Austin vs. The Undertaker. To even it out, The Rock and Mankind came on down and began to beat on the deadly duo, Austin, out of the ring got a chair, and entered the ring with Kane and the Undertaker, and you can guess what happened. Then Austin chased McMahon.
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