Getting personal???

Kenneth Gibson's Personal Logs

Personal Log Start-Reason:- Ok, Ok...Ok Hands up those who spotted that the picture was in fact a Constitution class ship...... there was more than that!!!!-You there, I can see you cowering in the corner. Yes YOU!! That's better...now on with the reason. The ship is actually an old Constitution class that has undergone MAJOR modifications. This, however resulted in a slight modification in the warp nacelles (to bring them in line with new space-friendly warp drives) This is where the clever part takes place..in that the ship now implements a Chamealon Field -which allows the ship to fool sensors, thus making the ship appear to be what it is not (useful when avoiding BORG and hiding in an asteroid belt-or want to escape detection!) . Personal Log Start-Statistics and Description:- I am 20 about 5'7'' with blonde hair and blue eyes. I am currently at University for (what I hope) a Degree . The course? Computer Science. My hobbies are....few and far between-but most of my time seems to be spent either messing around on the computer (or doing something useful...nah messing around) or going out and having fun (what??? you liar...you're skint most of the ti..) "Computer Off" Err..since I AM a student-I am just exploring the intracacies of student life (ho-hum). As might be obvious I am a bit of a 'Trekkie (A BIT!!!!) "I thought I switched you off- damn AI" Ok...I am a BIG fan of Star Trek-but I make no apologies for the Bias Of this page-that's it's reason d'etre-or something As for the selected jokes....They may not be to everyone's taste..but I like them!!! The Trek Page is mostly pictures with a few of the links that I have explored and found to be good in content and have a constant access rate (high-speed Of course).

Computer Jokes:- These are the true meanings of the following acronyms. ISDN-It Still Does Nothing. PCMCIA-People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms. APPLE-Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity. SCSI-~~Small Computer Systems Interface~~System Can't See It. DOS-~~Disk Based Operating System~~Defunct Operating System (Or MS-DOS - Money?Sure!-Defunct Operating System) BASIC-Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM-I Blame Microsoft DEC-Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM - Consumer Device-Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2- Obselete Soon, Too WWW-World Wide Wait PENTIUM-Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathmatics MACINTOSH-Most Applications Crash; If Not The Sytem Hangs MIPS-Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed MICROSOFT-Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers RISC-Reduced Into Silly Code And..Certainly one of the best and one that's fully truthful is:- WINDOWS-Will Install Meaningless Data On Whole System (ha ha ho ha ho ho....err I have that.....) Err..Sorry-This one had to be removed for reasons of taste.......The joke had none. So here are some more *wonderful* computer terms....CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in an office, divided by the floor space. CODING:An addictive drug. CONSOLE: What one does to a depressed computer. CURSOR: An expert in 4 letter words. EMAIL: An on-line escort agency specialising in the provision of drugged men. HARDWARE: The parts of the computer that can be kicked. INTEL: A group term for lawyers, "There is an intel of lawyers crossing the road". LOOP: See loop. MACHINE-INDEPENDANT PROGRAM: A program that will not work on any machine. PASSWORD: The nonsense word stuck to the side of the monitor. PERFORMANCE: A statement of the speed at which the computer system works or, rather, might work under certain curcumstances, or was rumoured to be working about a month ago. FAST: Well...we will be if a big company is invloved with plenty of media attention. And last but by no means least BUFFER: (you know what's coming) Yup, a programmer who works in the nude. Why Did the chicken cross the road?.....ANS=There was something FOUL on the pavement (not funny....Hmmm-send me a better one PLEASE... Or the computer related chicken jokes(about chickens crossing roads)...The Microsoft chicken is already on BOTH sides of the road And it just bought the Road. The NT chicken will cross the road in April....no in August...well December for sure. The OS/2 chicken tried to cross the road several times, and finally gave up. The Unix chicken says that there is no need to cross the road, just make a symbolic link to the Chicken anywhere you want it to be. The Java Chicken's server will download a chicklet to the other side for you, as will the ActiveX Chicken's server. The Web Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right and just keeps on running. The AI Gore Chicken is waiting for the completion of NCCI (National Chicken-Crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it is finished. (assuming he is re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program. And while they are all funny (I believe) these 2 are really good (hehe) The Cray Chicken crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid Nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked. And...The MAC Chicken claims that no reasonable Chicken Owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

THIS IS A MUSIC ADDITION....I HOPE TO FIX IT SOON...BUT FOR NOW LISTEN(IT REQUIRES REAL AUDIO)...

This is me (in a command Uniform)......

Take Us Out Of Here......That a way-Return To main Page I hope that you can mail any jokes or comments about this 'Personal Page' to ME....But more importantly I hope that you enjoy the Page and-------- "LIVE LONG AND PROSPER"

Email: [email protected]