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He, dis is Leo de howman elf Dis is me site, me hidiway Me soo ugly, so enjoy me looks and me home. |
Once upon a time a lonely old woman was walking through a very old part of the forest. While she walked she noticed hiding behind a tree was a short, fat, smelly, horrid looking Elf! The elf didn't notice her until it was too late. She snuck up behind him, grabbed him with both hands and held tight. The Elf screamed in horror, knowing that upon his capture by a mortal, he would then have to grant three wishes to his captor. "Oh no." said the old woman, " I have you now, and your going to grant me my wishes three, and your going to do it now!" Realizing he had no choice, the elf stopped struggling. "all right old woman," the elf said slowly, grinning ear to ear, "tell me your wishes three, but beware! You may get what you wish for...". "My first wish," began the old woman, "is to be young and beautiful again!" "You have your wish." said the elf, passing a magic stone over her. A column of smoke began to veil her, and when it had dispersed, there she was, young and beautiful again. The woman touched her smooth skinned face and smiled, then she eyed the elf, a menacing grin coming over her face. "For my second wish," she began, "I wish that YOU dear elf were to become the most handsomest man in the world!" The Elf screamed, but it was too late, he had already been transformed into the best looking hunk of male hormones on the planet. The woman's eyes lit up and she shrieked with glee upon seeing the transformation. "Now," she said taking hold of the bewitched elf, "I want you to make me the happiest woman in the world!" Just then the elf began to shake, his body looking as if it were being pulled apart by the rack! POP! There were TWO of them! The excited woman gasped in imaginary orgasm! TWO OF THEM!
"Come and get me boys!" the woman yelled throwing her arms
open wide and closing her eyes. A few seconds past and the woman
opened her eyes. There she stood as the doppelgangers wondered
off into the forest arm in arm, cheek to cheek.
Wishes wished, standing there confounded, confused, unsatisfied,
all she could think to do was to yell, "You Damn Fairies!!".
The end.
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