Meanwhile, Back Home

by Cat



Deep woman, deep thoughts

*All standard disclaimers apply*

Gretchen Janeway smiled when she saw her daughter materialize on the transport pad. The occasion wasn't a happy one, Phoebe was here for the Memorial to Voyager the next day, but Gretchen was resolved to not let that interfere with the joy of seeing her daughter. It was the fifth anniversary of the disappearance of Voyager, the starship her daughter Kathryn captained. Five and a half years ago it had disappeared chasing a Maquis ship into the Badlands. Five years ago it was declared officially lost, with all hands considered dead. No evidence of Voyager's destruction was ever found, though, but Gretchen knew with a definite certainty that her eldest daughter was alive somewhere.

Gretchen was happy to have Phoebe, her youngest daughter, home no matter what the occasion. She had lost her husband to space 15 years previously and then, five years ago, space had taken her eldest daughter away from her as well. She never admitted it, but she was happy that Phoebe had chosen a planet-bound career, even if that career also kept her away from home.

They traveled back to the house in companionable silence. Both mother and daughter felt that Kathryn was alive somewhere, struggling to get home. Neither of them believed that she was dead, and it was disheartening to think about the Memorial the next day, where Starfleet would again avow that Voyager's crew was dead.

Gretchen closed her eyes with the memory of the official announcement. They had gathered the families together in one conference room, and then gently told them that they were declaring Voyager lost in space. They were told that as extensive a search as possible had been made of the Badlands and surrounding space, but no evidence of either ship had been found. They had heard through channels that the Maquis ship had never reappeared again, either. They were then brought up to date on the theories that had abounded since the disappearance. The first thoughts were that both ships had simply destroyed each other, but that didn't seem likely. First of all, no wreckage of any type had been found. Second, Voyager was a state of the art Starfleet vessel and the Maquis ship was a rebuilt wreck, and the highly bred sensitivities of Starfleet scoffed at the idea of it destroying Voyager. Another theory had centered on the coherent tetryon beam that was detected near the last known vicinity of both ships. It was postulated that if Voyager had been damaged by the Maquis ship, the beam could have wreacked havoc with the navigation systems. But after six months of searching, theorizing and waiting, Voyager still had not reappeared, whole or in pieces. Starfleet was ready to call it lost, explaining to the families that even if she had survived her initial trouble, she was not equipped or designed to last for months without resupplying. They had said it would have been a miracle at that point for a whole Voyager to appear with all crew still intact. The next day Starfleet made their official announcement that Voyager was considered lost in space, with all hands dead.

The different people had taken it differently; the wife of the First Officer was relieved. She had had a premonition and had been convinced for a while that her husband was dead, but hadn't really wanted to give in to that belief. Now that an official body was declaring it, she could give in to her grief and get on with her life. The Kims, however, would not be convinced that their beloved only son was gone on his first mission. They argued that ships had been missing for longer periods of time and had still come back. They argued to no avail, Starfleet had already made up its mind, and had called the conference with the families as a part of their inevitable bureaucratic process of putting the case to rest. The crew were all commended for loosing their lives in battle, for, although it was not popularly believed, the official record had "lost in combat" as the reason for the disappearance.

Gretchen had sided with Mr. and Mrs. Kim and the others who felt that Voyager's crew was still alive. She had met the other families soon after the ship was declared missing, and had become fond friends with some of them. They had even theorized amongst themselves about the possible location of Voyager and its crew. They thought she might be drifting in space, her engines damaged or her navigational systems destroyed, but the rest of her still functioning. All they would have had to do at that point is keep life support going until they were found. But the Badlands was a vast and treacherous place, and the families knew that every kilometer had not been searched.

Gretchen sighed at the thought of seeing the other families and loved ones there the next morning. Mark would be there, back from South America for the memorial. He had been devastated when the news came, but had eventually gone on with his life. He was back with his philosophy group in South America. Seeing him again the next day would both be a pleasure and a source of more sad memories. Gretchen was friends with Mark's parents and had known him since he was a boy. She had liked him then, and had approved of his and Kathryn's relationship. But seeing him would also bring back memories of Kathryn's shore leave time, the time that Kathryn got to spend on Earth, with family and friends.

Gretchen and Phoebe soon arrived home. When they entered the old house, Kathryn's dog raced up to great them. Gretchen always referred to her as Kathryn's Dog, as if considering her to be her own dog would make it a finality. Mark had kept her for several years, but had to give her up when he went back to South America. Phoebe had one of the puppies she had been pregnant with, and the rest had gone to good homes.

Phoebe saw the dog and also thought about the puppy she had gotten five years ago, which was now a healthy, grown dog. She surmised how much Kathryn must miss her dog, and how saddened she must have been when she realized that she was never going to see the puppies that had been born. Phoebe had been one of the staunch defenders of the idea that Voyager's crew and Captain were still alive somewhere, but now she wasn't so sure. It had been five years, and no word had come back about anything. She believed in her sister's determination and stubbornness, but if the ship had been destroyed in the Badlands, no amount of stubbornness would ever get it back. Phoebe was torn, she knew her mother still strongly believed that she would see Kathryn again, but when?

Gretchen had cooked a meal of Phoebe's favorites. While they ate, the conversation drifted to some of Phoebe's current projects and prospects. That was one advantage of not being in Starfleet, Phoebe could talk about any aspect of her work that she wanted to, without spilling classified information. After dinner, they retired to the living room and talked into the night, reliving the past. When they both decided it was time to go to bed, they did so, neither of them anticipating the next morning.

Unbeknownst to either woman, their quiet evening had had another guest, a silent watcher...

End of Cat's part.



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