Greetings Humans! Hey no FAINTING on this trip! Whadda you expect a HUMAN guide? Geez your race is so provencal! AS I WAS SAYING, I am your tour guide KALAZAR. We will be visiting a number of strange, exotic worlds...HUH?? Whadda you mean "Please don't SMILE?" I'm SUPPOSE to smile and be polite and friendly and.... IGNORE the flames I get a little excited sometimes.. Lady calm down I'll pay for the hat and a wig and a plastic surgeon...Erm..Maybe you should catch the next tour,lady OK?...HMM...Where was I? Oh yea..
We'll be using a niffty ship I picked up dirt cheap. It's called the LIBERATOR and some #@%** fool named KERR AVON was hell bent to destroy it. (Letting it fly through an enzyme cloud! Indeed!) I rescued the poor thing and now it's MINE!
To get to the various planets, we'll be using a neat LIBERATOR gadget called the TELEPORT. Step right up and get your bracelet and we'll be off. Don't look at me like that I'm a vegatarian..HONEST....(Whadda buncha WUZZIES!)
Get on Board