The Thomas Crown Affair
    Here's another in a long list of entries this summer that by all rights should be crappy but aren't.  I mean, we have Pierce Brosnan milking his witty sophisticate persona once again--the man's made a career out of playing the same character.  I'm not kidding: watch Remington Steele, Mrs. Doubtfire, GoldenEye, and now Thomas Crown.  These people are 100% interchangeable, yet Brosnan manages to remain engaging.   We have Renee Russo playing her hackneyed butch-yet-feminine song again, and yet she stays watchable throughout.  We have a '90's remake of a most un-'90's celebration of conspicuous consumption and superhuman sex drives that magically comes across as classy and fresh. What the hell is going on here?
    All I can say is that director John McTiernan (whom we all know from Die Hard and The Hunt for Red October) is a black-belt master when it comes to canny audience manipulation.  Where those movies were relentless, crack-fueled thrillfests, Crown plays more like an elegant game of chess, where the passions are buried a little deeper below the surface.  It's appropriately electric and thrilling when a theft is in progress, and appropriately lush and languid when sex is in the air.  The mixture of these elements gives the proceedings an odd, distinctly unique feel, like taking a stimulant and a depressant within an hour of one another.
    The story concerns one Thomas Crown, a suave financier who is so bored with success that he must resort to elaborate, costly art heists to lend challenge to his life.  His house is carelessly littered with these treasures.  But when he lifts a Monet from the Met in New York, he finds that the painting's Swiss insurers have put a hound at his heels, a elegant bulldog of a woman named Catherine Banning.  Not bound by legal procedures--since her aim is solely the return of the Monet--she begins an ongoing duel with Crown that (is anyone surprised by this?) culminates in a sexual marathon on a marble staircase that would leave normal people bloody and broken.  Meanwhile, Crown gives her the obligatory grand tour of costly movie showcases: a plane ride, a sailboat, a private island in the Caribbean.  The movie fairly drips with unattainable luxury, which once upon a time was the main reason people went to see movies.
    The games they play range from "drenched in hormones" to "pleasantly cerebral."  The script takes full advantage of the characters' upper-crust breeding, saddling them with lightning-quick wit and silky diction that'd be impossible to accept as real dialogue under any conditions but these.  Brosnan and Russo handle everything confidently enough that they end up lending a lot of depth to their inherently shallow characters.
    Special note here should be made of the music, which is nothing short of miraculous.  There are laid-back jazz themes for the romance that alternate with kick-ass tap-dancing riffs for the two capers that serve as bookends to the movie.  This is definitely a soundtrack worth buying, and more importantly it fits the movie's content like a velvet glove, enhancing the overall experience significantly.
    This has been a summer of surprises, but none more unexpected than the enjoyability of The Thomas Crown Affair.  If you need a quick pick-me-up sometime in the next month, you could do a hell of a lot worse.

The Thomas Crown Affair
THE GOOD: The script is witty and Bronson and Russo's respective performances give much-needed credibility to their characters.  The music and photography is just gorgeous; buying a ticket to this film is akin to checking into the Four Seasons for four dollars.

THE BAD: Needless to say, the flick isn't the most egalitarian thing on the block.  As Roger Ebert said, there's something amiss with the idea that it's less reprehensible for someone to take $100 million if they don't actually need the money.  And also needless to say, there isn't much profundity or lasting value in the goings-on.

BOTTOM LINE: Entertaining as hell if you can check your hip '90's mentality at the door, and relentlessly well-made to boot.

MY RATING: 80