This is a review of all of Claudia Christian's non-Babylon 5 work that I have seen. All opinions here are expressly those of me, the Chief, and if you disagree that's fine, I won't ask (haha).

Movies and TV Movies!!!!!

Mad About You: Claudia's first film. Great Claudia content. Unfortunately Claudia's voice was dubbed by somebody else. Claudia stated at a recent convention that she was never paid for this film, and so when they asked her to come back and do the looping, she said "not until you pay me". They never paid her, so she never went back. It's actually a pretty cool movie though, and Claudia looks great. Shari Shattuck (Julie Musanti) is also in this one.

Arena: this movie has very good Claudia content. If you happen to like hokey space flicks, this one's for you. It has it all, from the arena in space, to the competition that no human has been in for 50 years. There are fight scenes galore, bad metallic costumes, and plot devices you can see from a mile away. Don't get me wrong, I liked this one. While bad, it was highly enjoyable. It also has an all star cast! Marc Alaimo (Gul Dukat:DS9), Armin Shimmerman (Quark:DS9, Principal Schnyder:Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and Shari Shattuck (Julie Musanti:B5, Mad About you)! Pay special attention to the last rows of spectators in all arena shots, they are actually cardboard cutouts! A MUST SEE Claudia Classic!

A Wing and a Prayer: Excellent Claudia content, she stars in this one. While it's great to see lots of Claudia, and she really did try, they just didn't give her much to work with here. The plot is so contrived its more than just hard to buy it. Maybe if her husband was Marcus... well... at least then we would have cared about him making it off the plane! The whole setup was so obvious, and so much of it was forced (a character named 'beastmaster', who we find out was bitten by a hamster or something. It might have been funny if the characters were more well rounded, but I found myself not caring too much). On an up note, Claudia really did look like she cared about her husband being on the doomed plane, which was a tall bit of acting let me tell you! You should definately see this one, because Claudia is really cool, just don't expect too much from anything else about it, and you won't be too disappointed.

Never on Tuesday: EXCELLENT Claudia content. This one is actually quite funny. Claudia gets into an accident with two guys who are going to California. They are stuck in the middle of nowhere, and waiting for help to arrive. That's the whole movie, but it's kinda funny, and pretty well written.

Kaleidescope: pretty good Claudia content. The movie is a well written tale of three sisters. The sisters are separated at a young age when their parents die and they are adopted by different families. now, the man who handled the adoption wants to see them reunited. Well written, with a "surprise" twist at the end! Claudia is in quite a bit of this one, but they could have given her better outfits, she deserves it.

Think Big: OK on the Claudia content. This one is pretty lame. Two idiot brothers, save the world with the help of a wonder child, and Claudia. Predictable, and not too funny, but hey, Claudia's in it, so it gets points for that, and that's about all it gets points for.

The Chase: Poor Claudia content. Claudia has all of 12 lines, we counted them. The whole movie, just about, takes place in a car. There's not too much to this one, and it's Claudia light. Claudia is also WAY too young to be this girl's step-mother. She could do MUCH better than the girls dad, although he IS rich so he gets points there. Claudia is, as always, absolutely riveting, but there just isn't enough of her.

Hexed:I don't care how bad a movie it is, it's still so much fun to watch. Claudia stars in this one, and she gets to be a homicidal maniac supermodel, how's that for cool? She has said at conventions that she had a lot of fun doing this one, and you can tell. She just gets to be all out nutty, and do whatever she feels like, in whatever accent she wants, and chase and kill people! Way to go Claudia!

A Gnome named Gnorm: Excellent Claudia content. What can I say, the rent was overdue when they asked her to do this one. This flick has all the intelligence of the average dust speck. It's predictable, and lame. The "male lead" is a nasty-looking puppet named Gnorm, who has to save his people by finding a rock that he lost, holding it up to the sun to recharge it, and bringing it bak to his people, who live below the earth's surface. Be warned, at the end of this movie Claudia has to kiss the puppet. Oh Claudia, you deserve so much better!

Strays: Average Claudia content. This one is about a couple with a little girl. They buy a house full of stray cats through their real estate agent, played by Claudia. Claudia happens to be the wife's sister. The husband happens to be Claudia's divorce lawyer. It's a little tangled and sticky, but their are some good cat attack scenes once we get things rollin'. It's a watchable flick, that's kinda fun too.

A Masterpiece of Murder: Claudia gets to play a true psycho in this one, and god is she good at it. Let me tell you, I'd be scared of the chickie she plays in this one! She gets to be the spoiled daughter of some wealthy tycoon who falls in love with her therapist, and kills his wife. There's another murder story going on, but who cares about that! Let's get back to Claudia!! The Claudia content is pretty good in this one, once she gets introduced, she's in it quite a bit. It was a little confusing, because they kept jumping back and forth from the current investigation to the old one, but other than that it's a fairly cool flick.

Columbo (Its All In The Game): The Claudia content is OK in this one, but could have been better. The plot is pretty cool, but Columbo drives me up a wall! Throughout the entire movie he constantly raids the dead guys fridge! Ew!! He also complains about the fact that the guy didn't have any jelly, and tells everyone about how he puts raisins in his peanut butter sandwich (made with the dead guy's food) to make it taste like peanut butter and jelly. Who CARES?!?!? Let's just find out what's going on with Claudia, OK? She gets to play a pretty cool character in this one, and she also gets to dress decently, which is a nice change of pace from Kaleidascope and Arena. The movie itself was OK, but would have been better if it stayed somewhere near a point, instead of going off on weird food tangents all the time, but that's hardly Claudia's fault, she was awesome as usual! The whole pointlessness of so much of this movie just took WAY too much away from it for my taste.

Maniac Cop 2: Well, with a name like Maniac Cop 2, you'd better not be expecting Casablanca! I liked this one, it is what the title says it is, and it's a lot of fun too, bad but fun. Claudia gets to play a police psychologist, who is working with the stars of Maniac Cop 1, one of whom is Bruce Campbell! At first she doesn't believe, but she finds out the truth soon enough. Claudia's no slouch! Pay special attention to the car scene, you'll know which one I mean when you see the movie, it's pretty wild! It's ludicrous, yet cool.

The Hidden: In this sci-fi/horror flick, a young Claudia plays a stripper who gets taken over by an alien. The scenes where she is carrying the huge gun are quite cool. Claudia didn't like the dancing scene because, she says, they choreographed it to "Nasty Girl", and filmed it. Unfortunately they couldn't use that song, so they just used something else that was sorta similar, and the choreography didn't work well with it. Even though Claudia isn't in a lot of this movie, she's cool while she's there, and I liked the movie overall, so it gets high marks from me. Guys will be interested to know that Claudia's dress for this one got her offers to "make more money than she could ever make in her entire acting career" was I believe how Claudia put it!

The Dark Backward: I haven't seen this one yet because my friend hasn't drawn up the release forms yet. I'm afraid, I'm very afraid!

TV!!!!!!!

Dallas: Claudia was RIVETING for her line (or was that two?)! She looks so young in this one!!! She musta been about 16 or something, but even then you could tell she was a star! If I liked soaps, or Claudia was in it more, I would have liked it better, but they get high scores for discovering Claudia!

Kelly Kelly (The Doodler): This one gets a big-time bomb! It's not Clauia's fault, the show is just really, really bad! Actually I should say it WAS bad. It's gone now (Thank Booji), and Claudia did what she could, but she wasn't there enough to save it. She plays an artist who teaches at a college in this episode. One of the boys (the older one) likes to draw, so Mom enrolls him in Claudia's class (Mom and Claudia are friends). Claudia looked like she was having fun with it (at one point she shoots paint at a canvas with a super soaker, and she's a real good shot!), but the rest of the show is (was) truly awful. Watch it for Claudia, and fast forward through the rest.

Space Rangers: Claudia is so cool in this one. She plays a diplomat who is negotiating a treaty with an alien race. She also just happens to be the ex-girlfriend of the show's star, who naturally screws everything up and almost gets everybody killed. Men! Marjorie Monahan (who we know as Mars Resistance leader "Number One") is one of the stars of the series, along with her Mars Resistance buddy Captain Jack! You remember Captain Jack, he's the guy that married Marcus and Dr Franklin! This one was pretty cool.

Hunter (Love, Hate, and Sporty James): Don't blink, you might miss her. She lives on a boat with the muredr victim. McCall talks to her about her late boyfriend, and then we never see her again. Check out the '80's pastel terry cloth outfit she gets to wear in this one! I liked Hunter, and used to watch it faithfully every week, so even though the Claudia content is poor, this one still gets high marks from me because it was a good show.

Highlander (Two of Hearts): What an AWESOME episode! Claudia was the only guest star to get an entire episode all to herself, and does she ever deserve it. I can't believe that they could have had Claudia, and went for that other chick instead, what a bunch of losers! Claudia was fantastic, swinging her sword around, getting to wear awesome black leather outfits that I would kill for (and a sword like hers would help!). She gets action, romance, and cool lines. She even gets to go back to medieval England and speak out against the nobles that are taxing her poor village to death. You tell 'em Claudia! What a waste to give her up. If you haven't seen this one, SEE IT!!

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