DEA Captures Heroin Kingpin

Waylon Jennings Bryant is taken into custody Monday morning by an unidentified undercover DEA Agent. Bryant is reputed to be the nation's single largest heroin importer and is wanted in connection to more than 30 murders. 
- Daycare Center bully turns out to be notorious drug lord.
By Hieronymus Jacobin
DDB
"Goo goo, ga ga, get those drugs on the street or I'll have my boys put a cap in your ass."

Hearing these words uttered from the roley poley face of an infant could break any mother's heart and have stopped more than 30 other people's from beating again.

Agents from the Drug Enforcement Agency concluded a five month undercover operation with the arrest of an infant..

The infant is Waylon Jennnigs Bryant, also known as "the Heroin Harpoon," "the H Master," and "Little Ricky Ricardo."

DEA spokeman Lowell Gilchrist described the investigation.

"We knew the operation was being run from somewhere inside the Little Angels DayCare system... we just didn't realize it was being run from the Lil' Tikes Play House," Gilchrist said.

Initially DEA agents were alerted to the daycare connection when Tony F. Worthington, 35, was arrested outside Seattle for possessing and intending to deliver heroin. Worthington, a janitor for Little Angel's in Tacoma, Wash., had more than 300 packets of the drug on him when he was taken into custody, police said.

"Worthington cut a deal with us for a lesser prison sentence," Gilchrist said. "He told us that he became involved in the drug ring and was made aware of pick up and delivery times through corporate memos originating from elsewhere in the Little Angels' system."

Eventually the DEA was led to the daycare Bryant attended, where they followed and watched employees for over two months to no avail.

"It was wierd," Gilchrist said. "We knew the drug empire was being run from that center, but all of the teachers and administrators checked out. Hell, we even roughed up the on-staff nurse and burned down her house hoping she'd leak some information."
The nurse's lawsuit was dismissed when she was found dead with a gunshot wound to the back of her head last week, DEA officials commented the hit was obviously ordered by Bryant.

According to DEA officials, Bryant would make all of his decisions for the drug empire during naptime at the center when he would sneak into a plastic club house and write memos in crayon to members of his cartel working at other Little Angels' sites.

DEA officials also said they have traced more than 30 murders directly to Bryant and more than $100 million in heroin sales in the past seven months.


DEA Agent Lt. Ralph Porterman was among those who lost their lives at the puggy hands of Waylon Bryant. Lt. Porterman's undercover operation played a crucial role in the apprehension of the 25 lb. godfather. 

"This baby was the big time," Gilchrist said. "In my more than 20 years with the agency I had never before seen such a competent drug dealer and cold-hearted killer."

Workers at the daycare described Bryant as cold, distant and as a bully.

"I never liked that brat," said Shelly Kresge, an instructor for the daycare center. "I'd tell him to color inside the lines and he'd go right out of them just to fuck with me. I'm not surprised one bit he was a narcotics baron."

Thelma Devlin recalled having to pick her own son up from the center early because of Bryant.

"The little monster wanted my Jimmy's Rugrats Luch Box, but Jimmy wouldn't give it to him," Devlin said. "When he couldn't have the lunch box, which has a matching THERMOS, he pulled a knife out and cut my poor boys left ear off. What kind of monster would do that?"

Gilchrist offered his own opinion on why Bryant turned bad.

"The agency looked into the childs past and about two months prior to starting the heroin empire he tried out to be the new Gerber Baby Food baby... he lost," Gilchrist said.

Bryant faces multiple counts of murder, aggravated assault, theft, receiving stolen property, using a public institution for illegal narcotics trade and possessing, intending to deliver and delivering heroin. Authorities estimate, if Bryant is found guilty he could face up to a year of probation followed by a six-month anger management course.


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