SUPERSTAR Michael Jackson wept last night as he told The Mirror of his

anguish at being branded a child abuser. Speaking publicly for the first time

of his private pain,

Jacko said: "I'd slit my wrists rather than hurt a child. I could never do that.

No-one will ever know how much these wicked rumours have hurt me."

In his first interview with a British newspaper for 20 years, he told of his

desperate wish to help the refugee children of Kosovo.

Jacko, 40, said: "I feel so sad when I see the pictures of those poor kids.

It makes me cry every day. I just want to go over there and hug every

one of them."

He has dedicated his new record What More Can I Give? to the refugees

and will give all profits to victims of Kosovo's ethnic cleansing. He also

plans a star-studded video. Harrods boss Mohamed Al Fayed is helping the

project.

In his candid talk, Jacko told of his joy at being a dad and his love For wife Debbie.

THE King of Pop does not give interviews. Michael Jackson does not need

to. His astonishing talent has always driven a unique worldwide publicity

machine that ensured his status as the biggest star of them all.

But that reclusive silence has had an adverse flip-side. The 40-year-old

star has never been able to counter the child-abuse allegations that

threatened to wreck his career. He knows a lot of people believe him to

be a child molester, a man who seduces and abuses young boys for pleasure.

Yet for years he has said nothing, refusing to go public and reveal

himself to the world's media on the record about the issue that has dogged his

life.

Now he has. With tears streaming down his face, Jackson told me of the

terrible pain and hurt he has felt at what he calls "wicked lies and rumours."'

Sitting next to his friend Mohamed Al Fayed at the tycoon's Harrods

store in London, Jackson wept uncontrollably as he poured out his anguish about

the "evil people who think I could do this thing to children."'

His frankness shocked me. This was not a glib, girlish monosyllabic character hiding

behind the famous mask and make-up. This was an intelligent, articulate and mature man.

And a man who very clearly bears the emotional scars of a terrible humiliation based

on alleged crimes he says he could never commit.

It was a curious and bizarre experience hearing the most famous person

on the planet crying his eyes out as he defended himself. I've never been

sure either way about Michael Jackson and those claims. The parents said he

had abused their kids, the kids they'd left alone with him for weeks on end

despite the rumours - then walked off with millions of dollars for theirtroubles.

How much more convincing they would have been if they had never

taken the money, I've always thought.

What'is for sure is that if he IS guilty, he hides it extremely well.

Having spoken to him for 40 minutes yesterday, I would say he loves children in

a way that few ordinary people can ever match or understand. He puts it simply

but devastatingly - "If it wasn't for the children...I'd throw in the towel and I'd kill myself."

The tears start to flow as he explains: "I wouldn't care to live without children and without

the inspiration they give me. They inspire me in all I do, every song I write, every dance

I perform. People try and use that against me and it's just so unfair. I get very upset by it,

it breaks my heart."

Jackson wed US nurse Debbie Rowe in November, 1996, after the collapse

of his high-profile marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of rock legend Elvis.

The star is now the proud father of two children of his own-two-year-old Prince Michael,

who he has nicknamed Baby Doo-Doo, and one-year-old Paris Michael Katherine,

named after the French capital where she was conceived.

His joy at fatherhood is tempered by the knowledge that it hasn't stopped the sneering,

the rumours, the nudge-nudge, wink-wink brigade.

He says: "I love my children so much. They have changed me and my outlook on life.

"I just wish people would leave me alone to get on with my life. I'm just a person who

wants to be honest and do good, make people happy and give them the greatest sense

of escapism through the talent God has given me.

"That's where my heart is, that's all I want to do. Just let me share and give, put a smile

on people's faces and make their hearts feel happy. To see my kids leaping round the room

going mad to my sister Janet's music is just fantastic. It fills my heart with so much joy.

"As soon as Janet's songs with a good beat like The Knowledge or Rhythm Nation come

on they both go crazy".

"You'd think a machine is moving them around."

The star starts to rap out his sister's hits to me, using the desk in front of him as a drum.

This is definitely one of those Kodak moments for the grandchildren.

He goes on: "I start singing and there's screaming all over the house.

"I start dancing and Prince is all in the way trying to dance with me."

Jackson never plays his own music to his children - "I'm saving that for a surprise when

they are a bit older," he smiles. He would love them to go into the entertainment world

but he's aware of the dangers.

He says: "It's going to be hard for them. When Lisa-Marie wants to sing, people always

compare her to her father which is so tough.

"Of course, I'd love them to do something in the arts so I could teach them to sing and dance.

But they'd have to want to do that without pressure from me."

Jackson is clearly devoted to his own kids. 'He tells me: "They are staying with a friend of

mine who I went to school with. We go back a long way.

"My children are with hers having fun which is great. I call them all the time and we have

great conversations. Hearing them say 'Dad! Dad!'' is such a thrill."

Jackson says he has learned a lot about being a father from Al Fayed, a friend for more than

20 years. The two spent Saturday touring the toy department at Harrods and watching Fayed's team,

Fulham, play in Division Two.

Jackson says: "Mohamed is a lovely family man and has been giving me some great tips.

"He tells me to be loving, to take time with the children, not to leave them with anybody

and to be with them as much as I can.

"To help them grow and let them know you love them by looking them in

the eyes, and saying 'I love you.'' And play, play, play with them."' The singer, who spends

£3,000 a day on 24-hour nannies, lives apart from Debbie, 40.

But he laughs at suggestions his marriage is a sham. He insists: "I love my wife, and we have

a happy marriage.

"Debbie is a nurse who loves her work, who loves taking care of people.

Every day she wants to get up and look after others, to help them and

make them better.

"That's why I love her, and that's what gives her bliss in life, God bless her."'

Debbie - who met Jackson when she worked as a dermatology nurse and

Treated him for his skin complaint vitiligo - is on record as saying: "Michael

is a doting father. I know the children are safe whenever they're with him."

Further discussion about the marriage is not forthcoming. But again, you

are left with a sneaking, dreadful feeling that Jackson might actually be telling the truth.

That he might genuinely love his wife after all. They may even, incredibly, have had sex.

Jackson has a deep-rooted distrust of the press based on years of sneering treatment by

journalists who, he claims, do not understand him.

He frowns as he sighs: "The press are hard on me, especially in England

which is a shame because I love it here and would like to live here one day.

"To give you an example, the last time I was here I flew Mickey and

Minnie Mouse from EuroDisney to a hospital in London for the sick kids and took

them a load of toys and things to cheer them up. The next day's papers said Wacko Jacko

Snubs Sick Children.

"That really hurt me - I tried to help those children but people just

wanted to make fun of me. It was cruel and unnecessary."'

Jackson's despair at the way he is treated by the media is nothing to his anguish at the

tragic events in Kosovo. The tears readily return as he says "I just want to go to Yugoslavia

and hug every one of those children and tell them I love them. The TV footage just breaks my

heart. It's just horrifying. I have to turn the set off - it makes me cry every day.

"It's time we did something. It's not enough to turn your head and pretend it doesn't exist.

I've written a song for the refugees called What More Can I Give? and I'm going to give

all the profits to the Kosovan Albanians.

"I want to do what we did with the people in Africa, get all the

celebrities together and sing for those poor families. I'd like to do this in Britain

and get the biggest British stars to join me. I want those people to know I love them, that we

all love them. They are my family, my children. They desperately need our money now

Despairing of the world's reaction to Kosovo's plight, he adds: "We are all doing too much

sitting back, and reading and watching TV saying how awful it is and not actually doing

something about it.

"I'm not into politics and I don't talk about religion. But I think it's totally wrong and

ignorant to hurt innocent children over some political or religious issue.

It's genocide and ethnic cleansing and it's stupid. It shouldn't be happening."