back to my thoughts My Mad thoughts
April 11, 1999
So recently I have began wondering about the meaning of life and why I'm here...I can't say that I have found that reason, or that I am even closer to knowing just exactly how they make those darn licorice red things...nips I think they are called...but I've finally figured out the name of that movie that I used to watch with dippitydoodahdorkboy for those of you who know who that is ... It was the shinning, and it scared the crap out of me... don't know why, probably because it was written to... SO this great computer of mine has been like a salvation of mine recently... whenever I have to write something cause my mind won't stop buzzing and I can't sleep, it's easier and faster to type than I can write.... Would let you guys take a look at my psycho babbling, but I'm afraid they would send me to cookoo land.... Could just be me though... Have you ever felt that whatever you do will just never be enough to let something go... that no matter where you go the same old memories will follow.... That every time you hear a certain song, smell a certain smell, or see a car that just about looks like something you once knew better than your dog... Have you ever just felt that you can't escape, not the sites, not the smells, and not your own mind?? It seems that even as you sleep you can't forget the memories, you dream of that time, or you think of how great it would be to return to the time when you were a "happy shiny person". Or when you dream, you dream of a home that you had once and appreciated for all that it was except for the one thing that always nagged on your psyche... The thought that everything was going to end as soon as you felt that it was safe to feel again.... That's gotta be the worst thing that you can live with... The knowledge of something that you once loved so dearly that you once had that you can never go back to ever again, that you can never have is horrible. So I think that maybe the reason for us to be here is, as mythology would have it, so that we have pain, suffering, and misery. When Pandora's box opened and all the curses flew out, and hope flew out last, so maybe man wouldn't kill himself in a moment of weakness. Maybe the cruelest curse of all wouldn't be so bad if we could all find a release somewhere...
Well that's it for the depressing stuff...don't' want everyone to feel as bad as I do. I've noticed recently the big hype of the Y2K... but I gotta say that it's all blown out of proportion, cause we've been living in the year 99 on our computers, not 1999, there's not room for the 19, so there's no way in hell that we are goin to be transported into 2000, or even 1900 on our computers, it's goin to be 100.. I mean how do you count?? 99, 100; 99, 1900; or 99,2000???? It only takes minimal common sense to know that!!! That is unless you just never used that huked on fonics book your mom bought for you when you were the ripe ol age of 13, or was that 31, well since you don't know how to count, it doesn't matter how old you are right... Hey great idea there, lets make everyone forget how to count so age, the year, or wait-EVEN MONEY- doesn't matter anymore.... What a great idea!!! Well, maybe not.
There's a lot of talk in this grand ol state of Montana about the speed limit, and how "we Montanan's need to be saved from ourselves" cause we obviously don't know that in driving in excessive speeds we are risking our lives... Hey guys up there in the legislature...We think the same thing whenever we get in the presence of you... You run our lives without the thought of just exactly what we really want. I mean of course I know that in driving 80 mph, I might hurt myself, but I also know that in being restricted to 75 mph, I am a more edgy driver, I hate to be restricted. Besides, it's not even the Montanan's who drive at such great rates....it's the out of staters, especially the Canadians... NO offense, but I'll be puttin along in Gertrude 80 mph and all of a sudden, a Canadian with a vengeance comes shootin along at speeds such as 115 mph... It's not our fault that these people are so retarded, why take it out on the locals?? Make it so that all non-natives drive at 75 mph...if not fine them heavily like $25 for every 5 mph they are over the speed limit... and tax them since they are from out of state, and are used to paying taxes... It makes great sense, doesn't restrict the people who have a brain to know that when it is snowing and the roads are icy to know to drive less than 75... It only takes non-natives not to know the difference between the gray of the road and the black of the ice. So my solution.... give all natives free rule of the road to drive at whatever speed they please, and make all non-natives drive at 75 mph, and for every 5 miles they are over that limit charge them $25... I gotta say it has its merits. There's just one more thing... someone great and powerful did a survey of the 50 states on defensive driving: Montana ranked 13 or 14...I gotta say that if our no speed limit law was that bad, well ya know what we'd be ranked 1, not 13 or 14...so these people need to open up their eyes and tax the rest of the sorry fools on the road.
So I've been doin a lot of TV watching... and there was this show that had this guy who challenged the whole single female population to turn him on... I'm thinking of doing the same thing.... Only thing is that I have very high expectations.... Ya know, like the guy should call me every once in a while, must bathe, must brush his teeth, must own a vehicle and be willin to drive me home at the end of the night, and one more thing, and this is the maker or breaker: must be willing to send me flowers...I know that it is a huge commitment to spend $20 on some lousy flowers, but flowers are a sign of love, they are also a sign of something that is so great that I cannot even name....
So that's it for my crazy and mad thoughts...more will be to come.... DON'T FRET!
back to my thoughts